The Blog post50love-post-50fifty

Love And The Drunk Dial

We have all done it. After too many drinks we find ourselves doing what our sober selves would never do. We make that phone call to the one person in the world we know we should not be calling at two in the morning; the infamous drunk dial. It is the one mistake that we know in our hearts is a mistake even as we scroll through our contact list and press.
Open Image Modal
By 

Love, Marriage, and Divorce Served on the Rocks...

Love, Marriage, and Divorce Served on the Rocks...
|
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

We have all done it. After too many drinks we find ourselves doing what our sober selves would never do. We make that phone call to the one person in the world we know we should not be calling at two in the morning; the infamous drunk dial. It is the one mistake that we know in our hearts is a mistake even as we scroll through our contact list and press send.

I was in love just one time in my life; truly, deeply in love. It was not with the woman I married, nor the numerous high school/college/real life crushes I professed in my lifetime. It was with a woman whom I met just after I separated from my wife. I met her in a bar. Crazy, what were the odds that I would meet the love of my life in a bar? (Actually, those odds were pretty damn high)

As I sat there with a beer in my hand, a woman came up behind me and ordered a drink. I immediately stood up and offered her my seat. She thanked me and she said she had a funny story about a bar stool in Las Vegas. That was it; true love never had a more innocuous conception.

We spoke for a while, exchanged phone numbers and then I kissed her right in the parking lot (that's not a euphemism -- it was an actual parking lot). As soon as I got home I called the number to be sure she didn't give me the number of the local Pizza Hut (she didn't). From that point on I had never been happier. I had never met anyone I could talk to so easily, about anything. The first time she told me she loved me it was like I had never heard those words before. I asked her to marry me, she said yes and we lived happily ever after.

Ok, no -- no we didn't.

As usual, when we realize we don't live in a movie that guarantees us a happy ending with the price of admission, life gets in the way. Prior to our meeting, and as her divorce from her husband was finalized, she decided it was best for her and her children to move back to the Midwest where she was born and raised. For a short time I even considered moving with her, but we both knew in our hearts that would never happen. I could have never left my kids behind.

The only people that think a long distance relationship is possible are those that have never tried to be in one. Too much distance and time will kill any relationship; ours was no different. After six months of back and forth visits, trying to figure out how to spend time with each other, it came to an end. The logistics of a romantic rendezvous proved too difficult to achieve and it ended over the phone on a cold February night. Of course we were still friends and often spoke to each other and wrote letters but it was never enough.

We both moved on and during the course of our continuing conversations even told each other of the people we were dating. Eventually our phone calls were few and far between. I found that when I did call her, it was usually after a few drinks and I would bemoan the situation and she would be very supportive and concerned but knew it would never work out between us. We had tried and we had failed.

Then, after for not speaking for a while and after a few drinks (and then a few more) I picked up my cell phone and called. It was late at night, and I knew it was a mistake, but I was happy to hear her groggy voice answer the phone.

I smiled a hello over the phone that quickly faded when I heard her say:

"Al, call me back when you are sober."

The phone went dead.

I was embarrassed and sad and knew what a major mistake it was to call.

After that, I never talked to her again.

She did get married again (thank you, internet) and I am sure she is happy not to get any more late night drunken phone calls from me. In fact, I haven't done a drunk dial since then. One reason is that I now know nothing good could ever come from a drunk dial. And another is that there is no one my intoxicated self is longing to call in the wee small hours of the night.

I will periodically butt dial someone, however, but only when my ass is drunk.

Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter |

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

How To Master The Art Of Online Dating
Age Is Not Just A Number, Apparently(01 of30)
Open Image Modal
Like it or not, age is the first thing Match.com users say they notice on a profile, followed by the "About Me" section. (credit:Getty)
Keep It Familiar For The First Date(02 of30)
Open Image Modal
If you're going on a date with someone you've never met before, keeping the venue simple is comforting. About 66 per cent of Canadian singles say they prefer to eat somewhere they've been in the past. Coffee spots are among the most convenient locations. (credit:Getty)
Look Your Best(03 of30)
Open Image Modal
Dressing to impress your date will boost your own self-confidence. Many singles will buy new clothes or even get a haircut before a first date. If it makes you feel your best, why not? (credit:Getty)
Plan Conversation Starters(04 of30)
Open Image Modal
To avoid awkward silences and prolonged phone checks, plan a few conversation topics. Take a look at their profile to find common interests or unique traits to ask questions about. (And also, leave your phone off the table. Always.) (credit:Getty)
Paying The Bill(05 of30)
Open Image Modal
You don't want to spend too much or too little on a first date. According to Match.com's survey, 34 per cent of people expect to spend between $40-60 on a meal.The bill itself should be paid by the person who initiated the date. (credit:Getty)
Share Food(06 of30)
Open Image Modal
We know you love your French fries, but be kind and offer to share your food with your date. Sixty per cent of singles would share food with their date, reports Match.com. It's an intimate move that can help initiate a bond. (credit:Getty)
Have Drinks(07 of30)
Open Image Modal
First dates can be scary. To calm their nerves, 70 per cent of singles said they had drinks -- but not too many. We'd suggest a maximum of two. (credit:Getty)
Remember Your Manners(08 of30)
Open Image Modal
Don't blow your nose, don't chew with your mouth open or be rude to restaurant employees. And Stay. Off. That. Phone. (credit:Getty)
Pucker Up!(09 of30)
Open Image Modal
Be ready (if you're comfortable) for a kiss at the end of the first date. The vast majority of Canadian singles are open to kissing on a first date. (credit:Getty)
…And Perhaps Get Lucky(10 of30)
Open Image Modal
Also, 35 per cent of singles are willing to have sex on a first date. Communication is key here. (credit:Getty)
Follow Up Promptly(11 of30)
Open Image Modal
After the date, reach out within the next few days rather than playing the guessing game. Thirty per cent of Canadians surveyed by Match.com said they call within 2-3 days. (credit:Getty)
Pick Up The Phone(12 of30)
Open Image Modal
And speaking of phones, call, don't text or email. Despite all the technology available, almost sixty per cent of Canadians would like their date to follow up with a call. (credit:Getty)
Be Open-Minded(13 of30)
Open Image Modal
Have an open, accepting mind. Everyone has flaws. Try to look past minor details on a first date. If you like the person overall, and had a good time on the date, give them another chance. (credit:Getty)
DO: Make It A Landscape Shot(14 of30)
Open Image Modal
Landscape pictures, according to eHarmony's blog, are more likely to be clicked on than up-and-down or extremely close shots, likely because it gives people a better sense of the person's body, as well as their face. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Crop Someone Out(15 of30)
Open Image Modal
Along with falling into that narrow "up and down" no-no, cropping someone out results in less communication, according to eHarmony. And besides, you really should have at least one good picture of you on your own somewhere.
DO: Upload A Bunch Of Pictures(16 of30)
Open Image Modal
Give the people what they want! And in this context, that means a variety of pictures, so that prospects can get a good sense of what you look like, what you're into and so on. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Snap From Afar(17 of30)
Open Image Modal
Though you don't want to get too close, you also don't want your picture to be taken from far away — that can seem as though you're hiding something about your appearance. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Show Your Left Side(18 of30)
Open Image Modal
Real scientific research has gone into this one, so why not trust it? Apparently showing the left side of your face in pictures is more aesthetically pleasing, according to PsychCentral, and has the added bonus of showing more emotion. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Feature Shots Of Your Buddy(19 of30)
Open Image Modal
Even if it's the most platonic of friendships, don't include a picture of yourself with a member of the opposite sex if you're looking for a heterosexual relationship. In general, keep pictures confined to shots of yourself. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Show Pride (If You're A Guy)(20 of30)
Open Image Modal
According to eHarmony, some studies have shown that women prefer pictures of men who demonstrate pride — whereas the opposite is true for men when it comes to women. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Show Happiness (If You're A Gal)(21 of30)
Open Image Modal
That same study showed that men prefer women who demonstrate happiness in their profile pictures, assumedly because it's associated with femininity and nurturing, and are least attracted to women showing pride. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Get Outdoors(22 of30)
Open Image Modal
Taking a picture outside allows for the flattering effect of natural sunlight on skin, notes eHarmony. Just be careful to avoid squinting into the sun, and opt for a sideways glance instead. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Be In A Costume(23 of30)
Open Image Modal
As one eHarmony blogger pleads, even if you think it's a hilarious picture, don't put up a shot of your Halloween costume. Sure, you want someone who shares your sense of humour, but let them see what you look like first. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Get Flirtatious With The Camera(24 of30)
Open Image Modal
OkCupid found that, to their surprise, when women made a "flirty face" without smiling at the camera, it generated more new contacts in a month than any other expression. Flirting away from the camera, however, was the least favoured expression. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Take A Selfie (If You're A Gal)(25 of30)
Open Image Modal
The researchers seemed as surprised by this as us, but apparently, the selfie, duck face or MySpace photo was the biggest hit by OkCupid users in terms of context. Is it possible it is the most flattering angle? (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Grab An Animal (If You're A Guy)(26 of30)
Open Image Modal
As for men, the favoured context for a headshot was one featuring a guy with an animal, whether a pet or even one at the zoo. Though this may not apply to everyone, as it was followed closely by ... (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Show Off Those Abs(27 of30)
Open Image Modal
The second most popular context for men on OkCupid was showing off muscles — though the researchers are quick to point out that (a) obviously it's only guys who have them who would show them off, and (b) this becomes less attractive to women the older the guys are. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Show Cleavage(28 of30)
Open Image Modal
This isn't necessarily a surprising finding, but men really do prefer profiles of women who show cleavage. The interesting point? Unlike the muscle men, as women get older, if they show cleavage, they're more likely to be messaged. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Show Some Interests(29 of30)
Open Image Modal
OkCupid found that as far as a picture leading to a conversation goes, the most likely ones start with a shot of someone doing something interesting. And it's not hard to figure out why — it gives the messager an easy opening. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Drink In Your Picture(30 of30)
Open Image Modal
Is it because you seem young when you feature booze in your profile picture or that you don't have any other interests? The research didn't specify, but drinking in your shot was the least likely picture to generate an actual conversation. (credit:Shutterstock)

Our 2024 Coverage Needs You

As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.

Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.

to keep our news free for all.

Support HuffPost
Suggest a correction
|
Submit a tip