23 Essentials for the Perfect Girlfriends Getaway

When I think of what takes girlfriend time so far afield from family time, husband/wife time, parent/child time, this is what sings for me. It's about flow, spontaneity, no planning, easy on the expectations, long on the humor, void of judgement, and comfort across topics.
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This article was originally published on Better After 50.

What makes for a great friends retreat? Most of the best stuff is never planned but who has time for spontaneity. I mean how can you fit that into a schedule locked down with work and family plans and staying in touch with friends. And trust me, I'm not complaining, I love my work, adore seeing my friends and planning nights out at restaurants, dinner parties, and movie nights. But a 24-hour unplanned getaway with a girlfriend feels downright decadent. And there's almost something not right about that -- but that's the reality.

So, when my business partner/girlfriend Ronna and I decided we were clearing our schedules for the full week to work on our upcoming "She Did It" event (we were on the final week's countdown) -- we casually said we should go away, hole up, and work. We talked about heading up to her condo in the mountains of New Hampshire but couldn't figure out how to get out of town. We had too many loose ends. By Wednesday morning, we checked in and decided -- todays the day. Let's do it. We're working anyway. Let's get out of here. Amazingly, we were on the road by 2 p.m., with doggy Jazz and our laptops.

You gotta love the cyber world. You can work from anywhere, and where we were heading we had the essentials: internet, heat, wine, and free lodging.

When I think of what takes girlfriend time so far afield from family time, husband/wife time, parent/child time, this is what sings for me. It's about flow, spontaneity, no planning, easy on the expectations, long on the humor, void of judgement, and comfort across topics - girlfriend time. It means fun, and fun is a sweet 3 letter word for ease, joy, and happiness.

So what's so great about going away for 24 hours with a girlfriend, just one good girlfriend? I guess I'd have to look at what really was happening for those 24 hours.

Here's what I came up with as the essentials for the perfect
:
  1. Car Travel: A willing driver.
  2. Packing: No makeup allowed. No fashion requirements - jeans, sweats and work out clothes
  3. No saying, "Wow does my hair look?"
  4. Eggs For Dinner
  5. 2 Bathrooms - One per person
  6. Your Own Bedroom
  7. Netflix and a willingness to watch a "House of Cards" episode again (with no spoiler alert).
  8. No one's playing hostess: i.e. Keurig coffee -- make it yourself.
  9. Appreciation vs. Expectation of Luxury Accoutrements i.e.. A Nespresso frother.
  10. Just A Spoonful of Sugar: A tin of jelly beans for late night movies.
  11. No Judgement: Snoring on the couch, farting without fear. Bring a dog, blame the dog.
  12. No guilt: Taking a phone call from a friend or kid is OK.
  13. Plenty of safe talk -- sex talk, mother talk, kids talk, all non-censored talk.Nothing is off limits.
  14. Aligned food neuroses: eggs, avocado and turkey are enough. The rest we'll figure out.
  15. Affordable and comfortable accommodations: It helps if it's her house or yours, there's a good bed, a strong Internet connection, good heat if you're heading north, good air conditioning if heading south.
  16. Joint Project Focus: Having a joint focus makes for a non-challenging schedule - especially if the focus is work, work, and work you both love.
  17. Alarm Free Sleep: Sleep until you wake up.
  18. Aligned Exercise Activities: Competency equivalency matters i.e we took a cross-country ski for lunch break for an hour, just for fun. No one whined. Easy start, easy finish. Delightful.
  19. No Planning For Anything Talk: No talk about when you are leaving, what you are doing, or what's next. All day long, just keep working and hanging.
  20. 5 p.m.: Pour a glass of wine. Drink a bit and then ask, "Should we go home?"
  21. Laugh. No, we're not going home. More wine. What's for dinner?
  22. Don't feel like going out? Got peanut butter? Got more Netflix? Got an understanding husband? Yup. OK one more night.
  23. Wake up early. More skiing and homeward bound.
Got a better plan?

Not me -- I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

7 Ways To Make Friends Post 50
Geography Counts, So Stay Local(01 of07)
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What you want is someone to hang with near where you live. Approach this scientifically. Having a friend who lives an hour's drive away will mean you won't see them as much as the person who lives closer. So think global, but stay local. That means your local coffee shop, the local branch of the public library, they local chapter of the Sierra Club, or the local college that offers evening courses. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="8" data-vars-position-in-unit="14">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/coffeepartyusa/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" CoffeePartyUSA" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/coffeepartyusa/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="9" data-vars-position-in-unit="15"> CoffeePartyUSA</a>)
Follow Your Interests(02 of07)
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If you play tennis, join a club or take a few lessons at the community center. If you like to throw parties, volunteer to run the annual fund-raiser at your synagogue or church; when the board thanks you publicly at the dinner, everyone will learn your name. If you hike, join the Sierra Club. If you bicycle, join a biking group or enter a race in your age category. Here's the one caveat about following your interests: Nobody ever met anyone while watching "American Idol" from the couch. (credit:Alamy)
Friends Come In Various Packages(03 of07)
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Be open to the idea that it's OK to have friends who are older or younger. The fact that they are in different stages in life just means they bring a different perspective to the table. While a 14-year-old won't be interested in socializing with a toddler, that 10-year age gap dissipates when they get older. Why not say yes to the 30-somethings who invite you to join them for drinks after work? Invite them over for dinner with their families and get to know their kids. Their views on the world may not match yours precisely, but variety is the spice of life. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="6" data-vars-position-in-unit="12">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/virovets/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" Yuri Virovets" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/virovets/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="7" data-vars-position-in-unit="13"> Yuri Virovets</a>)
Travel With Strangers(04 of07)
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If you are post 50 and uncoupled, you might find that traveling isn't as much fun. Call it the Noah's Ark theory, but in general, we like to go places paired up. There are services that will help you find a travel room-mate. Not only does this give you someone to talk to over dinner, it cuts down those single supplements that some tours and cruises charge. Friendly Planet runs one such pairing-up service. Road Scholar offers many active adult adventure vacations here -- offers to find you a roommate if you want. Their programs and generally educationally based and draw a well-heeled and educated crowd. Cruise ships do a pretty good job of making sure solo travelers find people to hang out with; group dining arrangements go a long way toward conversational icebreaking. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="4" data-vars-position-in-unit="10">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/michaelrperry/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" Michael R Perry" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/michaelrperry/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="5" data-vars-position-in-unit="11"> Michael R Perry</a>)
Become A Joiner(05 of07)
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Even if you've never been a joiner, now may be the time to get yourself out there. Got a new puppy or an old dog who needs some new tricks? Find a community dog-training class. If you like to cook, take a cooking class. Participate in the 5K run for charity, even if you walk the final three. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="6">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/vastateparksstaff/" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" vastateparksstaff" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb6698ee4b0527153093f3d" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/vastateparksstaff/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="7"> vastateparksstaff</a>)
Be Pushy(06 of07)
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Keep your smart phone with you and ask for numbers. Sure it may feel a little awkward to say to someone you just met "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you on this Sierra Club hike but the next one isn't for two months. Would you like to get together for a hike before that?" Worst they can say is no. (credit:Alamy)
Keep Up With Old Friends(07 of07)
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With Skype and apps like FaceTime, it's easier than ever to have face-to-face visits. Don't assume your old friends are too busy to talk to you on the phone. Most cellphone plans include free long-distance calls and for those that don't, there's Skype. Invite friends who live a great distance to come and stay with you. Show them your city. Friendships are like gardens; it's often easier to tend to an existing one than grow a new one from seeds. (credit:Alamy)

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