As an 87-year-old, I have my own theory about why some people retire happily and others get depressed or ill upon retirement, about why some people drive fast and like rollercoaster rides and horror movies, and others-- like me-- absolutely refuse to see anything violent and frightening and have always avoided scary rides in amusement parks.
It has to do with an addiction to "highs." People with generally low levels of adrenaline need a boost to "feel alive." While people whose levels are usually high, quickly become anxious when over-stimulated.
I'm of the latter category. Even a scary book makes my heart beat faster, and I get so uncomfortable in suspenseful movies that I want to leave. The feeling of being frightened is deeply unpleasant-- I do all I can to avoid being in such situations.
My granddaughter, on the other hand, loves to be scared. She thinks it's fun. A large number of people must agree, considering how many movies are made just to raise adrenaline levels. Steven Spielberg said in an interview that during a preview of Jaws, he saw someone leave as the shark was swallowing a man and thought: "It's a flop." Then he saw the person throw up and return, and he thought: "It's a blockbuster."
Addictions to emotional highs are not very different from addictions to alcohol or drugs. Without the stimulation, one feels low key, empty, or even depressed.
Some people can only work under pressure-- deadlines are motivators. I'm always several columns ahead, and I handed in reports early in college. Deadlines make me anxious. I can work under pressure if I have to, but I hate the feeling it generates.
Why do people continue working at a hard and fast pace when they could retire and don't need the money? A newly retired friend of mine recently said to me, "I miss the challenge, I miss risk taking, I miss having the control."
Another friend, a recently-retired CEO, said, "Who am I if I'm not a manager, if I'm not in charge, if I don't have the opportunity to make important decisions?"
What these persons miss, besides their job identities and the daily adventure that work provides, is being looked up to by colleagues and staff, being someone who matters, feeling responsible, and being challenged, all of which contribute to a "high."
The people who retire most happily are college professors who have experience filling up their time in productive ways during the long summer vacations.
Interestingly enough, stress addiction can be harmful to some-- potentially leading to heart attacks-- but not to all. For some, the release of adrenaline in the blood stream might increase resistance to disease through the production of lymphocytes.
In other words, stress may be bad for some individuals, but good for others. Some people thrive living in the fast lane, getting high on violent video games and extreme sports. People addicted to adrenaline seek ways to get these surges and when deprived of them become irritable or depressed.
I get a "high" when I see a good performance in a theater or have a particularly stimulating conversation, and that's enough for me. After all, what is "having a good time" but a "high"?
Seeing a destructive storm on television, hearing someone else's bad news or a dramatic story also provide a small kick, which explains people's preoccupation with sensational trials and sex scandals.
What gives you a high? How much of it do you need and with what intensity? Being aware of one's needs for adrenaline highs is already half the battle in seeking what one must have to feel alive. This will give you control over your behaviors and not let you fall prey to unconscious motivations and needs.
7 Questions To Ask Before You Pick A Retirement Community
1. Are You Looking For Bingo Or Competitive Tennis On Thursdays?(01 of07)
Open Image ModalSome retirement communities have lowered the age-admission bar to 50. But therein lies the rub: Just because they let 50-year-olds in, doesn't mean everyone who lives there is 50. Do you really want to be the only 50 year old in a community where most people are in their 80s? A retirement community can be a little evasive when you ask about the age of residents, in part because it's constantly changing. The average age of residents tends to rise as the community matures, so while the average age of new buyers might be on the young side, you want to be sure you know the average age of all the residents who live there. It's an important distinction. One surefire way to evaluate who your neighbors will be is to check out who the recreational programs cater to. Is it heavy with clubs for marathoners, tennis players and Pilates classes? Or is loaded with offerings like knitting, Mahjong and bridge? (credit:Alamy)
2. Is It A Place Where You'll Find Friends "With The Same Major"?(02 of07)
Open Image Modal3. Are You Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?(03 of07)
Open Image Modal4. Will You Grow Old Or Stay Young Here?(04 of07)
Open Image ModalStudies have shown that active people are happier and healthier. With this in mind, you will want to pick a retirement community that keeps you engaged. One thing to consider is a community in or near a college. Colleges and universities frequently let seniors audit classes for free. College campuses also have many free and low-cost cultural offerings -- concerts, art shows, visiting authors. Retirement communities tend to be built out in deserts or on the outskirts of town where land is cheaper. It may be worth paying a premium for locations closer to the things that will keep you happiest -- and that includes being near old friends and family. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" target="_blank" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb66c5de4b0527153099e95" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="2" data-vars-position-in-unit="2">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/sterlingcollege/" target="_blank" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" Sterling College" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb66c5de4b0527153099e95" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/sterlingcollege/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="3" data-vars-position-in-unit="3"> Sterling College</a>)
5. Will Your Children And Grandchildren Feel Welcome?(05 of07)
Open Image ModalWhile some retirement communities have swing sets and little playgrounds for visiting grandkids, others cap the number of days that minors can spend the night. The idea is that they don't want under-aged residents moving in on a permanent basis. This kind of policy may feel draconian to those who cherish every hour with their grandkids and want the little ones over as much as possible. It also might preclude your adult kids from returning to the nest if they can't find jobs. It's best to check the community's policy about visitors who are younger than the minimum age requirement and make sure you are in agreement before you commit to living there. (credit:Alamy)
6. Is The Bottom Line The Bottom Line?(06 of07)
Open Image Modal7. Are You Planning For Today And Ignoring Tomorrow?(07 of07)
Open Image ModalSupport HuffPost
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.