I'm Entering The Empty Nest Stage Of Purses

Yes, our handbags speak to all our life stages.
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My daughter -- aka the love of my life, the reason for my next breath, my daily dose of sunshine -- will be leaving for college in the fall. I am already not doing well. No lectures necessary; I know that when the time comes, I will rise to the occasion. When she takes this next step, she will not know a whit about how much pain that step is causing me.

In preparation, I have already done the one thing I know will help: I switched to a smaller handbag.

My handbags have always reflected the stages of my life. As a single career woman, I carried what was known as a ladies' briefcase. It was thinner than its male equivalent and had little pouches on the inside for a lipstick tube and a hair brush. Mine was made of fine Italian black leather. But to open it, it was necessary to put the briefcase down on a flat surface and undo the snaps. Highly impractical for every day life, but most impressive at business meetings. I'd swing that puppy down on the conference room table, enjoy the little ping the snaps made when released, and take out my notepad just like the big boys at the table. 

Motherhood introduced me to the world of totes and bags the size of carry-on luggage. Cavernous bags, they were, each one larger than the next as the kids and their needs grew. Those bags saw books for long car rides, snacks for the entire soccer team, extra sweaters, sunscreen, juice boxes, and the kindergarten's first-100-days-of-school project made of macaroni pieces. 

I've stayed with large bags even through the teen years. Right or wrong, my interpretation of the "try to say 'yes' to your kids" advice has been to be their depository. I am the one who always has a spare pen, who has a hairbrush, who carries the water bottles and the hand sanitizer. In our house, the "Have you seen my _____?" question is generally answered with "Look in my bag."

Well now, I am downsizing -- both in the number of kids who will live under my roof full-time and in the size of my handbag. I've switched to a small cross-body bag that no longer causes my right shoulder to hurt from the weight of its contents. It holds my wallet, keys and phone and little else.

And lo and behold, my downsizing has forced my soon-to-be-departing, about-to-be-a-college-student daughter -- and her own handbag -- to grow by several leaps and bounds. In it she has her own phone charger, her own Kindle, her own postage stamps and insurance cards. And why yes, on family outings, I kind of enjoy her reaction to her brother asking if she could hold his sweatshirt for him.

I'm thinking this is just another notch on the life cycle belt.

Also on Huff/Post:

7 Celebrity Empty Nesters
Kathie Lee Gifford(01 of07)
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The daytime TV host Kathie Lee Gifford has two children, Cody and Cassidy, who have grown and flown. She shared her tips for surviving the big send-off and aftermath on Today, which include baking cookies, closing your kids' bedroom doors and resisting the urge to go inside, keeping yourself busy and having a get-together with other empty nesters to remind yourself you're not in this alone.

(credit:Rich Fury/Invision/AP)
Rob Lowe(02 of07)
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In his book, "Love Life," Rob Lowe vividly described the heartbreak of sending his kids off to college. He has two sons, Matthew and John. "Jesus Christ, pull yourself together, man!” I tell myself. "There are parents sending their kids off to battle zones, or putting them into rehabs and many other more legitimately emotional situations, all over our country. How dare I feel so shattered?"

(credit:Mathew Imaging via Getty Images)
Meredith Vieira(03 of07)
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Meredith Vieira has two sons and one daughter who are all grown up. She says she was pretty shattered when her oldest left for college. But it does get better. "I sometimes feel guilty saying it, but I think the empty nest is great," she said in an interview with Parade. "We did our job, as my husband points out repeatedly. You're supposed to give your children roots and wings, and their roots are firmly planted in the ground and they have a sense of themselves and of place and purpose. They have the ability to fly away from home and to test those wings. It's time for us to sort of recapture our lives and enjoy it and I look forward to that."

(credit:Brad Barket via Getty Images)
Susan Sarandon(04 of07)
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Mother-of-three Susan Sarandon was looking forward to the empty nest and having more control over her schedule. "The thing is, when you have kids you're such a captive to their school schedule so you get an invite or you want to go someplace or something, you have to be back (by a certain time). I'm very hands on so I have to break that habit," she said.

(credit:Charley Gallay via Getty Images)
Denis Leary(05 of07)
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The actor Denis Leary, who has two children with his wife Ann, says deep down they couldn't wait for the nest to empty. "If you have teenagers – their rooms are full of such great stuff," he told WENN. "When I was a kid your room was like dust. We were poor growing up, we didn’t have televisions. My kids have plasma TVs and games and PlayStations and three different game systems and laptops. It’s a blast! My son has guitars in his room – a drum kit… I can’t wait.” Hilarious.

(credit:Kevin Winter via Getty Images)
Sigourney Weaver(06 of07)
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A positive outlook is the one thing you need to be able to cope with an empty nest, Sigourney Weaver says. "I’m determined not to be one of those mawkish, soppy mothers so I’m determined to be very busy. Plus it’s kind of exciting watching her go out there into the world," she said in an interview with The Telegraph.

(credit:Dennis Van Tine/ABACA USA)
Kyra Sedgwick(07 of07)
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Kyra Sedgwick and husband Kevin Bacon have two children and says there's an upside to the empty nest. "There’s something to waking up and thinking, ‘What am I doing today?’ instead of, ‘How can I squeeze in what I need to do around their schedules?’" she told Parade. "But hearing my kids walk through the front door saying hello is still the best sound to me," she added.

(credit:Christopher Polk/NBC via Getty Images)

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