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Mad Men Season 5: Predictions For Joan, Megan, Sally, Betty, Peggy Et. Al.

11 Things We Wish Would Happen For The Women Of 'Mad Men'
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And so the moment AMC has poured untold thousands of advertising dollars into is here: the long-awaited premier of Season 5 of "Mad Men." As you swish by in your Peggy- or Joan-inspired frock at a premier party or hunker down in your circa 1999 Old Navy sweats to watch at home, we invite you to play a little game with us. It's called "What Would Happen During Season 5 If We Were In Charge."

Jezebel's Doug Barry got the ball rolling today with a list of improbable "Mad Men" Season 5 hookups -- "speculat[ing] wildly about liaison scenarios so remote, so outrageous that nobody except a crazed person strung out on instant coffee and gummy worms could think of them." Our list is not so sex-centric -- not that we wouldn't pay money to see Salvatore seduce Pete, Doug. Also Megan + Joan. The following is an array of events we would make happen for the show's female characters if Matthew Weiner unleashed us in his writer's room. (Matt, we are available anytime.) Until that occurs, probably none of these predictions will come to pass, but here's hoping.

SLIDESHOW: 11 Things We Wish Would Happen For The Women Of "Mad Men"

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Before You Go

11 Things We Want To Happen In 'Mad Men' Season 5
Megan Calvet ... (01 of11)
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... to get a better read on Don and demonstrate her new place in the show's hierarchy, awkwardly hosts a luncheon for all of the women Don has worked with, gets them all raving drunk, gradually learns that Don has bedded all of them except for Joan and Peggy. (credit:AMC)
Dr. Faye Miller ...(02 of11)
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... wins a prestigious university fellowship, takes off her fake wedding ring, and becomes know for a study of female sexual satisfaction. (credit:AMC)
Carla ... (03 of11)
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... applies for a job at Sterling Cooper Draper Price, and Don hires her as his new secretary.
Pete Campbell...(04 of11)
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... Pete Campbell starts his own agency, relieving all of us of his presence. (credit:AMC)
Joan Harris ...(05 of11)
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... has her baby, and after a brief maternity leave, takes over Pete Campbell's job as head of accounts. She then makes Carla the office coordinator, and pays Carla the salary Joan should have had in that gig. (credit:AMC)
Betty Draper Francis ... (06 of11)
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... sensing her second marriage is a goner, becomes a real estate agent. (credit:AMC)
Sally Draper ... (07 of11)
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... runs away from home with Bobby. They live at the Met for a week and then co-write "From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" based on the experience. You mean you didn't know E.L. Konigsberg was a pseudonym for Sally and Bobby Draper? It all makes sense now, right? (credit:AMC)
Trudy Campbell ... (08 of11)
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... gets her hands on a copy of "The Feminine Mystique." Many things become clear. (credit:AMC)
Bobbie Barrett ... (09 of11)
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... writes an explicit novel based on her affair with Don. Women can't get enough of it, but they also can't read it in public, because they do not have Kindles yet. (credit:AMC)
Anna Draper's niece, Stephanie ...(10 of11)
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... shows up to deal with some unresolved issues after Anna's death. As beautiful as she is, the SCDP gang immediately wants to put her in an ad, not understanding Don's hesitation. Ken Cosgrove hits on her and is rebuffed. (credit:AMC)
Peggy And Joyce ... (11 of11)
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... become organizers for N.O.W. In 10 years, you're invited to a consciousness-raising potluck at Joyce's house.
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