WomenWomenLove & SexSex

Sexual Peak: Do Women Hit Their Sex Prime at 28?

Do Women Have A "Sexual Prime'"?
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By 

Senior Women's Reporter, HuffPost

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Are you in your sexual prime? If you’re around 28 years old, according to a recent survey, the answer is yes.

Through a poll of 1,281 British men and women, British sex toy company Lovehoney found that women have their best sexual experiences around 28 while men “peak” at 33, the Daily Mail reported. This (unscientific survey) contradicts the oft-cited conventional wisdom that women peak sexually in their 30s, while men hit their sexual prime at 18. The poll also found that women and men both reported having the most sex in their 20s -- 25 for women, 29 for men.

Relationship expert Tracey Cox told the Daily Mail that the survey’s findings make sense because it takes time to learn what you want out of sex and how to get it. “We tend to have the most sex at the start of relationships when desire is fresh, and the best sex once we’re more in tune with our bodies and our partner,” she said. “Despite the female sexual system being far more complex than a man’s, women are discovering what works and doesn’t faster than men.”

However, many have disputed that women and men even have a “sexual peak.” For starters, it's hard to define what constitutes your "sexual prime." In his book “Passionate Marriage,” clinical psychologist David Schnarch wrote: “The speed with which your body responds is only one measure of sexual prime. Your sexual peak has a great deal to do with who you are as a person.” Sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright expressed similar sentiments in a 2008 article for FoxNews.com. “Peaking hormones do not necessarily make for peak performance. Furthermore, physical and sexual primes are not one in the same … Peaks vary from person to person, with most people realizing their full passion potential in their ability to feel more sexually secure with themselves and their partners,” she wrote.

The upshot, it seems, is that sex at 28 -- and 33 -- can be great, but individuals' sexual experiences, personalities and levels of bodily comfort differ so much -- at any age -- that it's hard (and potentially problematic) to declare one age the best period in a person's sexual life.

Do you feel like you’ve reached your “sexual peak”? Or do you think the best is to come?

RELATED ON HUFFPOST WOMEN: 7 Steps To Mind-blowing Sex

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Before You Go

7 Steps To Mind-Blowing Sex
1. Don't Talk Yourself Out Of What You Need(01 of07)
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It's too easy for us women to convince ourselves to settle for less. We're so helpful and accommodating, so eager to please and afraid of rejection that we're quick to give up the things we need, including when it comes to sex.What we need to see is that doing this will leave us chronically frustrated. While it's true that every relationship requires a certain amount of compromise, going without the things that we really need just doesn't work. We'll end up unhappy in the relationship or resentful toward our partner.The bottom line is, we need to know what we can't live without, sexually, and what we just can't live with. We ignore these non-negotiables at the expense of a fulfilling sex life. (credit:Alamy)
2. Share Your Needs And Feelings With Your Partner(02 of07)
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If you can't ask them for what you want in bed, you shouldn't be sleeping with them. Good sex happens when we feel safe and at ease. If we're afraid to ask for something or to tell our partner that we don't like something, sex will never be more than mediocre.This second tip follows from the first one, in that once we identify what we want and don't want, we have to express these things clearly. It's unfair to expect our partner to be a mind-reader and "prove" that they care by somehow knowing what we want without our having to tell them. Healthy sex comes out of healthy communication.
3. Accept Your Body As It Is Now(03 of07)
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We need to be in touch with our bodies; with what feels good, what feels not so good and what feels wrong. We also really need to stop judging ourselves in terms of our weight and our shape. Only a superficial dope would give us a hard time over our imperfections. If someone makes us feel bad about our physical selves, this is more a reflection of his inadequacies than of our own.Our negative self-talk has to stop. The running commentary on how fat we are, how much cellulite or how many wrinkles we have is guaranteed to kill the mood, often before it even starts. Feeling good about our bodies is crucial if we're going to let go and enjoy ourselves. Being physically self-conscious will keep us from experiencing the joyful abandon of great sex.
4. Never Refuse Sex As A Punishment Or Use It As A Reward(04 of07)
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In the bad old days, some women were led to believe that the way to get a man to toe the line is to offer sex for good behavior or withhold it when the man has displeased them. Most of us today recognize this as hateful behaviour and a recipe for disaster.Men don't want to be controlled or punished, especially around sex. They don't want to be made to feel like little boys. When we're hurt or angry at our partner, we need to share our feelings with him in an adult way. We can even say that we're too upset for sex, right now. What we mustn't ever do is make him feel like we're deciding when he gets to have sex, based on whether he's been "good" or "bad."On the other hand, using sex as a reward turns us into sex objects and makes sex into a commodity for our partner to "earn." It's no longer two people being intimate or enjoying each other. Commodifying sex makes it into a business transaction and our bodies then become objects for trade.
5. No Pets In The Room(05 of07)
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We might love Fluffy or Rover, but they don't belong in the bedroom when we're being intimate. Our pets are very territorial and could get jealous or want to play, too. Dogs might bark or even growl. Cats might jump onto the bed and start walking around. We can avoid these disasters by remembering to shut the door and leave our four-legged friends outside.
6. Have A Sense Of Humor(06 of07)
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Sex is about connection and intimacy, but also it's about having fun. It can be mind-blowingly great or occasionally, things can go wrong. Having a good sense of humor about sex will keep things in perspective.Being able to laugh at ourselves and at the comical aspects of sex will take the pressure off the whole experience. We might love and adore our partner, but we don't have to be so serious about making love to them. Humour relieves pressure and is a great way to connect.
7. Enjoy The Give And Take(07 of07)
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The best sex is the kind in which each person is trying to please the other one. The sharing in sex is one of the things that make it great. It can be technically amazing, but when one person gets the impression that the other person really isn't there with them, it can ruin the whole experience.What makes someone a fantastic lover is not their technical ability or their repertoire of moves but their attentiveness and their efforts to make their partner happy. When both people show that they really care about meeting their partner's needs, sex becomes something wonderful. (credit:Alamy)
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