Gloria Steinem Has The Best Comeback When She's Called A B*tch

Thanks for the great advice, Gloria.
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Robin Marchant via Getty Images

Feminist icon Gloria Steinem has some solid advice for women who confront sexist double standards on a daily basis: disarm those doing the discriminating. 

In an interview with Cosmopolitan's Editor-in-Chief Joanna Coles, Steinem expressed frustration that, in 2015, female ambition is still interpreted as aggression. "If you don't do what you're supposed to do, you get to be a loud black woman or a bitchy white woman," she said. 

When Coles asked what we can do to push back against that kind of bullsh*t, Steinem had the greatest response:

The best thing I've ever thought of to say when somebody calls you a bitch is "Thank you." I mean, it totally disarms them. They don't know what to do. Marlo Thomas always used to say that for a man to be called aggressive, he had to take over your business, but for a woman to be called aggressive, she had to only put you on hold. It's just a terrible double standard. We have to call them on it. If you call them on it, it changes people's heads.

Being a woman involves a near-constant negotiation of social norms and trying to push back on said social norms. Steinem wants none of that.

As she said during an Oct. 21 one-on-one conversation with Coles at Hearst Tower:

So, what can we do to combat this everyday sexism, the kind that often feels so mundane that it goes unnoticed? Steinem recommends calling it out. "Saying something is almost always better than swallowing it and then thinking about it for two days," she told Coles.

And sometimes the best way to say something about sexism is through humor. Steinem told Coles she learned that trick from the incredible Flo Kennedy, her close friend and fellow feminist activist: 

I learned from Flo Kennedy, who was a great civil rights lawyer and who was my speaking partner for a while. Nobody was better at a comeback. Some guy in some audience would say, "Are you lesbians?" and she would always say, "Are you my alternative?" and everyone would crack up. Again, it's fun. And it's consciousness-raising because you're not just doing it for yourself and the other person, you're also doing it for the people around you.

Gloria Steinem: Laughing at misogynists since 1934.

To read Joanna Coles' full interview with Steinem, head over to Cosmopolitan.

Also on HuffPost:

21 Ways Gloria Steinem Taught Us To Be Better Women
(01 of22)
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Without Gloria Steinem's passionate zest for change and equality, women would not be where we are today.To celebrate the feminist author, activist and all-around awe-inducing goddess on her 80th birthday, we've compiled some of her best quotes and lessons from over the years.Here are 21 things Gloria has taught us: (credit:Susan Wood via Getty Images)
1. Logic trumps all:(02 of22)
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"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." (credit:Ron Galella vis Getty Images)
2. Never lose sight of your dreams:(03 of22)
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"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning." (credit:Marianne Barcellona)
3. Ask questions, be curious, stay hungry for answers:(04 of22)
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"God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there's no turning back." (credit:Susan Wood/Getty Images)
4. Don't be afraid to use some muscle:(05 of22)
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"Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself." (credit:Facebook)
5. Seek out knowledge whenever you can:(06 of22)
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"We need to remember across generations that there is as much to learn as there is to teach."
6. Everything you read isn't always true:(07 of22)
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"Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers." (credit:Facebook)
7. Stay grounded:(08 of22)
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"A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space." (credit:Facebook)
8. Even if we don't want to, sometimes we need to hear it:(09 of22)
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“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” (credit:Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images)
9. Don't take everything at face value:(10 of22)
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"The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn." (credit:NBC via Getty Images)
10. Feminism really is for everyone:(11 of22)
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“A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” (credit:Jonathan Liebson via Getty Images)
11. Don't be afraid to try new things:(12 of22)
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“So whatever you want to do, just do it...Making a damn fool of yourself is absolutely essential.” (credit:Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images)
12. Not everyone's going to like you and it's O.K. to be O.K. with that:(13 of22)
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“Once we give up searching for approval we often find it easier to earn respect.” (credit:Astrid Stawiarz via Getty Images)
13. Women work their asses off:(14 of22)
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"If women could sleep their way to the top, there'd be a lot more women at the top." (credit:Mandel Ngan via Getty Images)
14. Feminism is only one part of a greater whole:(15 of22)
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“Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie." (credit:Getty)
15. Keep growing, keep moving:(16 of22)
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"The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving." (credit:Duane Howell via Getty Images)
16. The women's movement is not the only one we need to support:(17 of22)
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“This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution. Sex and race because they are easy and visible differences have been the primary ways of organizing human beings into superior and inferior groups and into the cheap labor on which this system still depends. We are talking about a society in which there will be no roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism." (credit:The Washington Post via Getty Images)
17. We can learn so much from the people around us:(18 of22)
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“Each others' lives are our best textbooks.” (credit:Angle Franco via Getty Images)
18. The female anatomy is truly amazing (and unique):(19 of22)
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“I didn’t hear words that were accurate, much less prideful. For example, I never once heard the word clitoris. It would be years before I learned that females possessed the only organ in the human body with no function than to feel pleasure. (If such an organ were unique to the male body, can you imagine how much we would hear about it—and what it would be used to justify?)” (credit:Robin Marchant via Getty Images)
19. We need to love and support one another in order to succeed:(20 of22)
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"Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood." (credit:The Washington Post via Getty Images)
20. We cannot achieve full equality until men are given the same opportunities as women in all areas of life:(21 of22)
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"Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it." (credit:NBC via Getty Images)
21. Value our differences:(22 of22)
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"For women… bras, panties, bathing suits, and other stereotypical gear are visual reminders of a commercial, idealized feminine image that our real and diverse female bodies can’t possibly fit. Without these visual references, each individual woman’s body demands to be accepted on its own terms. We stop being comparatives. We begin to be unique." (credit:Bloombger via Getty)

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