A convenient checklist of common phrases to avoid when in the company of women (including your wife, mother, sister, girlfriend).
1. Relax.
2. Can't you see that you're just torturing yourself for no reason?
3. Who taught you how to parallel park?
4. If you think it's worth it then I guess it must be worth it.
5. Don't make such a big deal about everything.
6. How could you NOT think that was absolutely hilarious? It was, hands-down, the funniest thing I've seen in my whole life. You have no sense of humor. Seriously.
7. You already know how I feel about you. Why do you keep asking?
8. I'll get to it when I get to it.
9. It's not a competition.
10. Calm down.
11. Next time, try buying shoes that fit.
12. You look fine. It's not like you're the center of attention anyhow.
13. I think a "real feminist" wouldn't act the way you're acting.
14. Get over it.
15. Maybe that's what you heard, but it's not what I said.
16. Whoa, you're so sensitive.
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