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7 Candidates We'd Rather See In The GOP 2016 Race

7 Candidates We'd Rather See In The GOP 2016 Race
By 

Senior Editor of Breaking News, HuffPost

and

Eat The Press Editor, HuffPost

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Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry announced on Thursday that he’s running for president, officially widening the 2016 GOP field to “basically everyone ever.”

Also vying for the Republican nomination are Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, a man who once warned that the U.S. was only steps away from re-allowing soldiers to quarter in private homes, former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, most famous for being a synonym for bodily fluids, and former New York Gov. George Pataki because why not.

So we’d like to suggest a few other candidates who, in our humble opinion, might be more viable contenders:

An IUD
The IUD is having a moment. Unlike former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, the birth control device was once very popular and is now becoming popular again. Bush, on the other hand, used to be a very well-liked governor but is now polling worse than his brother, whose greatest hits include two of the three longest wars in American history.

A string of emojis
Apple recently made headlines for introducing racially diverse emojis. The GOP 2016 field is, with the exception of Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, Ben Carson and half of Ted Cruz, whiter than this year’s Academy Awards. (Though, to be fair, the Democratic side could also benefit from some multicultural additions.)

Florida Man
The GOP 2016 field already includes a man who used to fry squirrels in a popcorn machine and thinks North Korea might be more free than the United States. Why not turn the crazy up to 11 by including America’s most beloved delinquent?

A breakfast taco
Have you ever met a person who tried a breakfast taco and didn't love it? Probably not. If the answer is yes, by the way, you should remove that person from your life immediately.

That guy requesting gluten-free beer at an Italian restaurant
Can't be reasoned with, shows no remorse, absolutely will not stop doing this. Precisely the guy you want fighting the Islamic State.

Dynasties
Clinton, Bush, Paul: There are sure a lot of political families involved in the 2016 race already. Why not add a real dynasty into the mix? At least the arts flourished under the Medicis.

Sarah Palin
As long as we're in full YOLO mode.

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Before You Go

Declared 2016 Presidential Candidates
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) -- Announced March 23, 2015(01 of20)
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Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), his wife Heidi and their two daughters wave on stage after he announced his campaign for president, Monday, March 23, 2015 at Liberty University, in Lynchburg, Va. Cruz, who announced his candidacy on Twitter in the early morning hours, was the first major candidate to officially enter 2016 race for president. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) -- Announced April 7, 2015(02 of20)
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Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) announces the start of his presidential campaign, Tuesday, April 7, 2015, at the Galt House Hotel in Louisville, Ky. Paul launched his 2016 presidential campaign Tuesday with a combative message against both Washington and his fellow Republicans, declaring that "we have come to take our country back." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Former Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton -- Announced April 12, 2015(03 of20)
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Democratic presidential candidate and former U.S. Sectetary of State Hillary Clinton speaks to employees of Whitney Brothers, an educational furniture manufacturer, at a round table discussion on April 20, 2015 in Keene, New Hampshire. This marked Clinton's first major political event in New Hampshire after announcing her campaign for president a little over a week before. (Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images) (credit:Andrew Burton via Getty Images)
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) -- Announced April 13, 2015(04 of20)
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Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) smiles as he speaks to supporters as he announces that he is running for the Republican presidential nomination, during a rally at the Freedom Tower, Monday, April 13, 2015, in Miami. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee) (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) -- Announced April 30, 2015(05 of20)
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Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) speaks to the media about his agenda in running for president, Thursday, April 30, 2015, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin) (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Ben Carson -- Announced May 4, 2015(06 of20)
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Ben Carson announces his candidacy for president during an official announcement in Detroit on Monday, May 4, 2015. Carson, 63, a retired neurosurgeon, begins the Republican primary as an underdog in a campaign expected to feature several seasoned politicians. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Carly Fiorina -- Announced May 4, 2015(07 of20)
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Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina speaks at the Iowa Faith & Freedom 15th Annual Spring Kick Off, in Waukee, Iowa, Saturday, April 25, 2015. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R) -- Announced May 5, 2015(08 of20)
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Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee salutes supporters in Hope, Ark., after announcing Tuesday, May 5, 2015, that he is seeking the Republican nomination in the race for president. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) -- Announced May 27, 2015(09 of20)
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Former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum announces his candidacy for the Republican nomination in the 2016 presidential race on Wednesday, May 27, 2015 in Cabot, Pa. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic) (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Former New York Gov. George Pataki (R) -- Announced May 28, 2015(10 of20)
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Former New York Gov. George Pataki announces his plans to seek the Republican nomination for president, Thursday, May 28, 2015, at the historic town hall in Exeter, N.H. (AP Photo/Jim Cole) (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley (D) -- Announced May 30, 2015(11 of20)
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Former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley speaks during an event to announce his candidacy for a presidential campaign May 30, 2015 at Federal Hill Park in Baltimore, Maryland. O'Malley was the third Democrat, after former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), to throw his hat in the ring for the Democratic nomination. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images) (credit:Alex Wong via Getty Images)
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) -- Announced June 1, 2015(12 of20)
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CENTRAL, SOUTH CAROLINA - JUNE 1: U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) gives a speech where he announced his candidacy for United States President during an outdoor event on June 1, 2015 in Central, South Carolina. Graham is the ninth Republican to join the race for president in 2016. (Photo by Jessica McGowan/Getty Images) (credit:Jessica McGowan via Getty Images)
Former Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chafee (D) -- Announced June 3, 2015(13 of20)
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(credit:Win McNamee via Getty Images)
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) -- Announced June 4, 2015(14 of20)
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(credit:Joe Raedle via Getty Images)
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) -- Announced June 15, 2015(15 of20)
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(credit:Darren McCollester via Getty Images)
Business Mogul Donald Trump (R) -- Announced June 16, 2015(16 of20)
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(credit:Christopher Gregory via Getty Images)
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) -- Announced June 24, 2015(17 of20)
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(credit:Darren McCollester via Getty Images)
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) -- Announced June 30, 2015(18 of20)
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(credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Former Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.) -- Announced July 2, 2015(19 of20)
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(credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) -- Announced July 13, 2015(20 of20)
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(credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
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