LOVE IS LOVELIER THE 2ND TIME AROUND(01 of10)
Open Image ModalI took Crystal back because I still loved her. She made me laugh and I missed that laughter. I don’t think she knew her own mind back when she went AWOL on the wedding. She knows she fucked up and wants a second chance, and I’m a guy who believes in second chances. It feels as if she hadn't ever been away...that it’s just as it was meant to be, and we picked up where we’d left off—nearly a year after the breakup. It has just seemed natural. There’s a greater mutual knowledge of the missteps and, because of that, I think second shots can be potentially stronger. You’ve both learned something.
MARRIAGE IS A CHEMICAL EQUATION:(02 of10)
Open Image ModalIn the very early stages of a romantic relationship—the first two or three years—there is something chemical going on in the body that feels like an amphetamine. A physical excitement. With the passage of time, that’s replaced chemically by a more soothing feeling, like taking a tranquilizer. Some people are very happy with that second stage. They are the ones that are likely to be happy in terms of a long-term relationship. Others need that adrenaline fix. Those are the people who may not want to jump into marriage, because a seven-year itch or three-year itch or three-month itch will be waiting for you. It’s all in the chemistry.
“THE GAME” IS A SHAME:(03 of10)
Open Image ModalThere’s a danger in the early part of a relationship. If you appear to care too much, sometimes a girl may back away. She may often be more attracted to somebody she thinks is hard to get—just as a guy often is. Of course there’s nothing rational about that. As a matter of fact, it’s counter-productive. But it’s a reality. Unfortunately, it then becomes a game, which means you sometimes have to hold back true feelings to keep her from running away. Too many guys pay too much attention to what they have on their own minds and miss the cues and clues that may establish a common connection.
SAY IT WHEN YOU KNOW IT:(04 of10)
Open Image ModalTell her that you love her as soon as you think it’s true. There’s nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve. The best thing that you can bring to a relationship is what you’re really thinking and feeling. The worst thing in a relationship is deception and game-playing. One of the great dangers in relationships is that a woman falls in love with you and you with her, and then she tries to change you. The truth is, if you haven’t changed who you are by the time you are in your twenties, you aren’t going to be doing much changing thereafter.
THE MORE YOU KNOW, THE MORE THEY WANT:(05 of10)
Open Image ModalA lack of experience may be attractive in women, but not in men. Although they say they like a one-woman man, most women are attracted to a man who has had a number of romantic relationships and knows his way around a bedroom. The more experienced you are, the more desirable you are to most women. If a woman knows that other women find you attractive, she is likely to find you attractive as well.
ONLY FOOLS DON’T FALL IN LOVE AGAIN:(06 of10)
Open Image ModalBroken hearts are like broken legs. They needn’t be fatal. Only a foolish person doesn’t leave the heart open for the joy and pain of love again. If not, you are the loser for it. The reality is that life—especially in this regard—is very much like a movie. We delude ourselves with the notion that somehow there is only one person out there who is a soulmate. But, in fact, there are many appropriate people who can be cast in that co-starring role. When you’re dealing with lost love, it’s time to just start the casting process all over again.
IF YOU DON’T SWING, DON’T RING (REALLY):(07 of10)
Open Image ModalIf there are any rules of etiquette in having consensual multi-partner sex, I haven’t found them yet. Just pay attention to what’s going on around you and don’t do anything you’ll feel guilty about the next day. It’s a big mistake to get into multi-partner relationships if there isn’t real understanding and security in the primary relationship. You need to be sure, I think, not only that you’re going to feel fine the following day, but that she will, too. It’s foolish to squander the tomorrows that exist in a relationship for a momentary adventure. It’s not a smart way to live your life. You should live for today and also for tomorrow.
NEVER FLEE THE MORNING AFTER:(08 of10)
Open Image ModalWho was it that said that five minutes after he had sex, he wished the woman would turn into a poker table and five of his buddies? I don’t agree. The period after the orgasm—if you’re with somebody you care about—is a very sweet time. Cuddling is very important. In the morning, if it’s someone you’ve just been with for the first time, the last thing a girl wants to hear is, “I’ll call you” when she thinks it’s not true. If it’s the first time, then what is looked for afterward is something sweet and romantic and reassuring, just the way it was before the sex.
UNBOTTLE YOUR URGES AND LIVE BETTER:(09 of10)
Open Image ModalThe great myth about sex and sexual desires has always been that if you bottle them up, they won’t bother you. The truth is, if you let those desires out and deal with them in a rational way, you’ll be the happier for it. It’s a natural part of being alive. Embrace it and you embrace life itself. Part of my life has been a testing of the outer boundaries of sexuality, stretching the limits of what you can do and still consider yourself moral. Morality is not defined by numbers of partners. You can have sex with just one person and this can be a very immoral relationship.
ALL WE ABSOLUTELY NEED IS LOVE:(10 of10)
Open Image ModalEverything changes when you’re in love. The food tastes better. The music is sweeter. Everything is a little more delicious because you’re sharing it with somebody you care about. If you are a romantic, I think it’s possible to fall in love with somebody across a crowded room. Essentially, love is an illusion. It’s something you project. And it has a great deal to do with what love, or youthful fantasies of love, came before.