The BlogTorture cia torturePolitics

11 Not-So-Harsh Interrogation Tactics

Make it sound like there's a really great party going on in next interrogation room. Have interrogator act all surprised, like, "Oh, were you not invited?"
By 

Contributor

Contributor
|
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Good for use in Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo, and any number of secret CIA prisoner sites....

  1. Replace regular showerheads with super-low-pressure eco-friendly showerheads. Pretend old showerheads have to be ordered from factory in Tucson.

  • Play cassette tape of Telephone Line by Electric Light Orchestra. Stop tape before chorus.

  • Make it sound like there's a really great party going on in next interrogation room. Have interrogator act all surprised, like, "Oh, were you not invited?"

  • Hook up detainee's cell with shitty Wi-Fi. Disconnect Wi-Fi. Force detainee to leech off adjacent cell's Wi-Fi while they wait for Wi-Fi repairman.

  • Offer to loan detainee VHS copy of Tootsie, tape over last twenty minutes with 2002 Grammy Awards coverage.

  • Stock interrogation room mini-fridge with Vitamin Waters. Make some arbitrary rule about how they're for "interrogators only."

  • Leave just a little bit of toilet paper in bathroom so detainee has to open bathroom door with foot and yell for somebody to bring new roll.

  • Two words: Evan Almighty.

  • Convince detainee to stay out and continue drinking at bar even though he knows he has a big interrogation in the morning.

  • Schedule February interrogation during Lost.

  • Silent treatment.

    • Our 2024 Coverage Needs You

    As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.

    Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.

    to keep our news free for all.

    Support HuffPost
    Suggest a correction
    |
    Submit a tip