Cheney to Pen Bush's Memoir

One day after publisher Random House signed former President George W. Bush to write a presidential memoir entitled Decision Points, Mr. Bush announced that he had tapped former Vice President Dick Cheney to write the memoir for him.

"This book will detail the twelve greatest decisions I've made in my life," Mr. Bush told reporters in Crawford, Texas today. "The thirteenth greatest decision was hiring Dick Cheney to write about the other twelve."

By getting the nod, Mr. Cheney will become the first vice-president in history to write a president's memoir for him.

Mr. Bush said he decided to seek a ghostwriter after realizing that he faced several obstacles to writing the book himself, such as learning to spell.

But according to sources close to the former president, Mr. Cheney was his second choice to write the memoir after Mr. Bush was turned down by his first choice, author James Frey.

Mr. Bush, who reportedly "likes the way he makes things up," had asked Mr. Frey to pen the memoir under the title A Million Little Decision Points.

A spokesman for Dick Cheney said that he would finish writing the memoir in 2009 and would finish redacting it in 2010.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is performing at the 92nd St. Y on April 30 at 8 PM with special guests Judy Gold, Hendrik Hertzberg, and Jonathan Alter. For tickets, go to 92y.org.