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An Open Letter From Introverts To Everyone Else

If you are one of my dear friends, then one of two things happened: 1. You clawed your way in (bravo!) 2. We were confined together for a long period of time and forced to talk.
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CEO and Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching

CEO and Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching
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Hi, it's us, Introverts. We just wanted to write a quick note to everyone to clear the air. We know that we can be hard to read, a little closed off and even irritable sometimes, but we do love you. To help you deal with us, we have put together a list of things you should know.

1. Weekdays Are Me Days.

"Errr... Book Club is on Mondays? Um. OK, I can't make it. Ever. Why? Because it's on Monday."

We swear it's not because we don't like you. And it's also not because we just discovered The West Wing. (I mean, how did we actually live before?) The reality is, we don't want to have to be "on" for three more hours. Socializing is for the weekends and the occasional Thursday (or every Thursday, if you're in college). We're up for it then. We're not up for it on Mondays. Of course we bend the rules for breakups, important meetings or special occasions. So basically, if it's not your birthday, it can wait 'til Friday.

2. If You Call Me, Have A Reason

Business? We'll answer. News? OK. Just to talk? Hahaha. Unless you fall into our "special human" category, we're not answering your phone calls. And frankly, even our special humans get screened (sorry, Mom). Once again, it's not that we don't like you. It's because we simply do not have the energy to talk for the sake of talking. Texting is our real friend. If you text us, then you have to tell us what you want to talk about, and we like that lots. Phone calls are for catching up and achieving goals. Anything else is considered a no-go.

3. People We Know Better Be There

Oh, kindergarten. So long ago, we were all shoved into a classroom and told to make friends. So, naturally, us Introverts know how to socialize just like everybody else. But don't mistake this for being extroverted! The difference is, we legitimately feel like passing out directly after talking to other humans. And this is probably why we ask the dreaded question, "Well... who is going?" We aren't saying you're not cool, we're just preparing ourselves. For what, you may ask? For talking to humans we do not know followed by leaving the party early. Sorry we're not sorry.

4. We Are OK Without A Bajillion Friends

Clearly, it makes sense that if we are horribly rotten at meeting new people, then we probably won't have a ton of friends. Pretty simple logic. And we're totally OK with that. However, the friends we do have are flipping fabulous. Take me, for example! If you are one of my dear friends, then one of two things happened:

1. You clawed your way in (bravo!)

2. We were confined together for a long period of time and forced to talk.

I'm not even kidding. That's how I met all FIVE of my lovely friends. And I'm considered to be "outgoing" (I know, right? Five.)

Moral of the story? If you're friends with one of us, we love you more than you know, and you're flipping fabulous.

5. We're Intense

Disclaimer: we seriously DO NOT know how to "bring it down," or "lighten up." When we are in a great conversation, it normally pertains to politics, religion, money, complicated relationships or anything else we "aren't supposed to talk about." These taboo subjects are our life source at cocktail parties, and we can't help it. Yes, your dog is too adorable and your outfit is beyond amazing, but what actually gets us going is your career buyer's remorse or your relationship with your mother. Sorry in advance.

6. We Don't Reach Out Well

Oh, the horror. Here's the lowdown: We feel desperate or clingy when we ask someone to dinner, fake and slimy when we network and self-absorbed when filling in a distant friend on our lives. That's no excuse -- we have to work on these things, but be patient with us. If these things come easier for you, help a little lost Introvert out! We're cute, and what we lack in social aggression we make up for in poignant conversation.

7. We Like You

We really do. Well, not all of you, but a lot of you. We appreciate that Extroverts talk to us and text (not call) us and inform of us of what's going on outside of our scary minds! Even though we have become pretty comfortable in our introverted ways, we all at one point have been rather jealous of how you guys operate. So, don't think that we don't like you just because we prefer to be alone! We aren't hanging out with each other, either. For real.

To all of our extroverted friends out there -- thanks, dudes. We know we're in a handful. And love to the fellow Introverts out there! Turtle power.

If you liked this article, you're obviously amazing, so you should totally come say hi to me over here. I do life coaching and things like that. If you think you've seen this before, you aren't crazy. Phew. You can see the original article just to prove it to yourself. And, if you're a personality geek like me, you definitely should come over here and play.

Ok, bye.

Images from top: NBC-niketalk.com, PBS-perezhilton.com, NBC-weknowgifs.com, NBC-brobible.com, NBC-wifflegif.com, NBC-rebloggy.com, NBC-whilenotfinished.com

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The Harry Potter creator, who was recently revealed as the author of The Cuckoo's Calling under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith, is frequently cited as an introvert. People who identify as introverts often report feeling most creative when they're alone with their own thoughts, rather than in groups. Indeed, Rowling recalls on her website that she first had the idea for Harry Potter in 1990 when she was traveling alone on a delayed train from Manchester to London."I had been writing almost continuously since the age of six but I had never been so excited about an idea before. To my immense frustration, I didn't have a pen that worked, and I was too shy to ask anybody if I could borrow one…," she writes. "I did not have a functioning pen with me, but I do think that this was probably a good thing. I simply sat and thought, for four (delayed train) hours, while all the details bubbled up in my brain, and this scrawny, black-haired, bespectacled boy who didn't know he was a wizard became more and more real to me." (credit:Getty Images)
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Writer and introvert expert Susan Cain describes the Microsoft co-founder and chairman as an introvert. "We can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point," she wrote in her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking, the Chicago Tribune reported. "Bill Gates is never going to be Bill Clinton, no matter how he polishes his social skills, and Bill Clinton can never be Bill Gates, no matter how much time he spends alone with a computer." He's also an example of someone who's introverted without being shy, Cain noted in a Psychology Today blog: "Bill Gates is quiet and bookish, but apparently unfazed by others’ opinions of him: he’s an introvert, but not shy."And perhaps Cain's work has struck a nerve with the business magnate: He chose her TED talk as one of his 13 favorites. (credit:Getty Images)
Abraham Lincoln(03 of16)
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"In the nation’s earlier years it was easier for introverts to earn respect," Cain said in a Q&A with Amazon.com. "America once embodied what the cultural historian Warren Susman called a 'Culture of Character,' which valued inner strength, integrity, and the good deeds you performed when no one was looking. You could cut an impressive figure by being quiet, reserved, and dignified. Abraham Lincoln was revered as a man who did not 'offend by superiority,' as Emerson put it." (credit:Getty Images)
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The pop star and reality TV mentor might seem like the picture of an extrovert on stage, but in real life she identifies as the opposite. "If it weren’t for her bleach-blonde hair, I wouldn’t have recognized her," Gaby Wood wrote for Marie Claire about her interview for the magazine, published in early 2010. "Because, besides being petite, she is, it seems, shy. She tells me that she has always been 'intense and introverted' and that, as a result, she’s felt like an outsider her entire life." (credit:Getty Images)
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As the longest-serving First Lady in history, Eleanor Roosevelt is known for her very public persona, entertaining, holding press conferences, giving lectures and even serving as American spokesman in the United Nations after her husband's death -- but she was also thought to be an introvert. Her official online White House bio describes her as "a shy, awkward child, starved for recognition and love, [who] grew into a woman with great sensitivity to the underprivileged of all creeds, races, and nations ... her graciousness, and her sincerity of purpose endeared her personally to many -- from heads of state to servicemen she visited abroad during World War II." She's often quoted as saying: "Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." (credit:Getty Images)
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The former Friend cited personality differences as one of the reasons for her split with David Arquette. "I'm a homebody. I like to have people over, but I'm a little socially not -- I don't love it," she told Howard Stern in a 2011 radio interview, People reported. "David -- he doesn't drink anymore, he's completely sober -- but he likes to go out and dance. He really is a very gregarious guy. He's very outgoing. I'm much more of an introvert." (credit:Getty Images)
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"The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" star has said she credits her introverted personality for her reputation as a non-party girl. "It’s interesting, because people say things to me like, 'It’s really cool that you don’t go out and get drunk all the time and go to clubs,' and I’m just like, I mean, I appreciate that, but I’m kind of an introverted kind of person just by nature, it’s not like a conscious choice that I’m making necessarily. It’s genuinely who I am," she told Rookie earlier this year. "Have you seen Quiet by Susan Cain? ... It discusses how [extroverts] in our society are bigged up so much, and if you’re anything other than an [extrovert] you’re made to think there’s something wrong with you. That’s like the story of my life. Coming to realize that about myself was very empowering, because I had felt like Oh my god, there must be something wrong with me, because I don’t want to go out and do what all my friends want to do." (credit:Getty Images)
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The former First Lady and wife to President George W. Bush is a self-described introvert. "George and I are complete opposites," she said at the 2005 White House Correspondents' dinner. "I'm quiet, he's talkative. I'm introverted, he's extroverted. I can pronounce nuclear..." And Mrs. Bush is a prime example that introversion doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as shy. As a 2000 USA today article noted: "Her successful Houston appearance in mid-June resonated with political significance. In her confident delivery, reliance on humor, forceful demeanor on the dais, and relaxed response to press questions, Laura Bush, 53, conclusively turned upside down a once-standard media description that portrayed her as shy, remote, and somewhat reclusive in matters political ... For an admitted introvert, Laura Bush remarkably has evolved into a very effective speaker." (credit:Getty Images)
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The Civil Rights legend who refused to give up her bus seat for a white man in 1955 was also considered an introvert. Susan Cain wrote in the introduction of her book Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking:
I had always imagined Rosa Parks as a stately woman with a bold temperament, someone who could easily stand up to a busload of glowering passengers. But when she died in 2005 at the age of 92, the flood of obituaries recalled her as soft-spoken, sweet, and small in stature. They said she was 'timid and shy' but had 'the courage of a lion.' They were full of phrases like 'radical humility' and 'quiet fortitude.'
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Cain's book has a chapter titled, "Why Did Wall Street Crash And Warren Buffet Prosper?" using an explanation of introversion and extroversion personality characteristics to help answer that question. She wrote:
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