Swingers Sites Attract Members Using Gendered Marketing, Study Finds

How Do Swingers' Websites Attract Members?
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How do you meet other couples who might be interested in having sex with you?

On the Internet, obviously.

A new study from Gettysburg College, forthcoming in the June 2013 issue of Sexuality & Culture, investigates how swingers' -- or couple-swapping -- websites market their services.

Researchers analyzed 18 different websites that offer activities and services for swingers and how they're selling the swinging life. The names of the sites were not included, so we don't know which, if any, of the most popular sites -- SwingTowns, Swapper Net, Swing Lifestyle -- were analyzed. Unsurprisingly, each swinging site studied portrayed the swinger lifestyle in a positive light, avoiding the stigma attached to the subject and trying to make the swinger lifestyle sound as normal as possible. One site emphasizes that swingers are a diverse community of individuals. Many sites also use the size of their membership to prove that swinging is becoming more common. According to the study, one site claims to have over 30 million members worldwide, and another claims that 7,000 new members join each week.

A common theme on the websites the researchers considered was privacy and security. The sites reassured users that their images and messages were "secure," and would never be used without their explicit permission. The researchers wrote that, because swinging is still considered a "deviant" lifestyle, privacy is crucial in marketing the lifestyle.

Finally, the research team found that every website appeared to target mostly male heterosexual users. Most images on the sites were geared to appeal to heterosexual men, suggesting that men are often the ones looking for information about swinging and for online communities where they might meet like-minded individuals.

In their paper, the researchers claim that this is one of very few studies focusing on how the lifestyle is marketed rather than swinging participants themselves. They write that the sites are designed in a very gendered way -- appealing to men rather than women. The paper states: "Earlier studies have posited more men as the aggressors in the pursuit of a swinging lifestyle when compared to their female partners... Thus, the findings suggest that these websites clearly know their potential clients and target men through the objectification and erotization of women."

In 2011, CNN claimed that there were 15 million swingers in the US. The results of a 2000 study suggested that swingers are happier in their relationships than the average monogamous couple -- 60 percent of participants stated that swinging had improved their relationship.

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Before You Go

7 Steps To Mind-Blowing Sex
1. Don't Talk Yourself Out Of What You Need(01 of07)
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It's too easy for us women to convince ourselves to settle for less. We're so helpful and accommodating, so eager to please and afraid of rejection that we're quick to give up the things we need, including when it comes to sex.What we need to see is that doing this will leave us chronically frustrated. While it's true that every relationship requires a certain amount of compromise, going without the things that we really need just doesn't work. We'll end up unhappy in the relationship or resentful toward our partner.The bottom line is, we need to know what we can't live without, sexually, and what we just can't live with. We ignore these non-negotiables at the expense of a fulfilling sex life. (credit:Alamy)
2. Share Your Needs And Feelings With Your Partner(02 of07)
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If you can't ask them for what you want in bed, you shouldn't be sleeping with them. Good sex happens when we feel safe and at ease. If we're afraid to ask for something or to tell our partner that we don't like something, sex will never be more than mediocre.This second tip follows from the first one, in that once we identify what we want and don't want, we have to express these things clearly. It's unfair to expect our partner to be a mind-reader and "prove" that they care by somehow knowing what we want without our having to tell them. Healthy sex comes out of healthy communication.
3. Accept Your Body As It Is Now(03 of07)
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We need to be in touch with our bodies; with what feels good, what feels not so good and what feels wrong. We also really need to stop judging ourselves in terms of our weight and our shape. Only a superficial dope would give us a hard time over our imperfections. If someone makes us feel bad about our physical selves, this is more a reflection of his inadequacies than of our own.Our negative self-talk has to stop. The running commentary on how fat we are, how much cellulite or how many wrinkles we have is guaranteed to kill the mood, often before it even starts. Feeling good about our bodies is crucial if we're going to let go and enjoy ourselves. Being physically self-conscious will keep us from experiencing the joyful abandon of great sex.
4. Never Refuse Sex As A Punishment Or Use It As A Reward(04 of07)
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In the bad old days, some women were led to believe that the way to get a man to toe the line is to offer sex for good behavior or withhold it when the man has displeased them. Most of us today recognize this as hateful behaviour and a recipe for disaster.Men don't want to be controlled or punished, especially around sex. They don't want to be made to feel like little boys. When we're hurt or angry at our partner, we need to share our feelings with him in an adult way. We can even say that we're too upset for sex, right now. What we mustn't ever do is make him feel like we're deciding when he gets to have sex, based on whether he's been "good" or "bad."On the other hand, using sex as a reward turns us into sex objects and makes sex into a commodity for our partner to "earn." It's no longer two people being intimate or enjoying each other. Commodifying sex makes it into a business transaction and our bodies then become objects for trade.
5. No Pets In The Room(05 of07)
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We might love Fluffy or Rover, but they don't belong in the bedroom when we're being intimate. Our pets are very territorial and could get jealous or want to play, too. Dogs might bark or even growl. Cats might jump onto the bed and start walking around. We can avoid these disasters by remembering to shut the door and leave our four-legged friends outside.
6. Have A Sense Of Humor(06 of07)
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Sex is about connection and intimacy, but also it's about having fun. It can be mind-blowingly great or occasionally, things can go wrong. Having a good sense of humor about sex will keep things in perspective.Being able to laugh at ourselves and at the comical aspects of sex will take the pressure off the whole experience. We might love and adore our partner, but we don't have to be so serious about making love to them. Humour relieves pressure and is a great way to connect.
7. Enjoy The Give And Take(07 of07)
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The best sex is the kind in which each person is trying to please the other one. The sharing in sex is one of the things that make it great. It can be technically amazing, but when one person gets the impression that the other person really isn't there with them, it can ruin the whole experience.What makes someone a fantastic lover is not their technical ability or their repertoire of moves but their attentiveness and their efforts to make their partner happy. When both people show that they really care about meeting their partner's needs, sex becomes something wonderful. (credit:Alamy)