10 Things I Learned Traveling as a Couple

After three years together, we've learned how to enjoy traveling together for prolonged periods of time. Tyler and I are currently on a year-long trip around the world. Even in the honeymoon stage, traveling with your partner is something that takes time to figure out. As with all relationships, it is a continual learning process, but here is what I've learned on making the most of the journey.
|
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

For our second date, without much warning and with little fanfare, Tyler showed up on my doorstep while I was on a trip to Buenos Aires for my job with the State Department. I felt like something big was about to happen as this was a departure from my normal dating experiences in Washington, DC. Before long, these international rendezvous became routine. We hiked the Inca Trail in Peru and swam with penguins and sea lions in the Galapagos for our next dates. One of the things that made me fall in love with Tyler is his sense of adventure. These experiences abroad brought us together, but also allowed us to bypass normal dating pains and still get to know each other in a meaningful way.

Travel has continued to be an integral part of our relationship. We are both immensely curious about the world and passionate about learning. Since our first dates in South America, we've climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, chased the Northern Lights on a road trip around Iceland, and jumped off of a derelict boat captained by a drunk Russian into Cambodia's bioluminescent waters.

After three years together, we've learned how to enjoy traveling together for prolonged periods of time. Tyler and I are currently on a year-long trip around the world. Even in the honeymoon stage, traveling with your partner is something that takes time to figure out. As with all relationships, it is a continual learning process, but here is what I've learned on making the most of the journey:

1.Find the humor in every situation. Explosive diarrhea in a third world country when we hardly knew each other? That's hilarious. We were still in the butterflies stage, and I was trying to put my best foot forward on our trip to Peru -- doing my hair, wearing makeup, and attempting to look like a glamorous mountain babe while hiking the Inca Trail. That all went out the window after a bout of food poisoning forced us to hug the same toilet in a run-down hotel room in Aguas Calientes the night before reaching Machu Picchu. It was especially hilarious when our trekking guide thought it was a good idea to hit on me while I was shivering under the covers. Our guide suggestively asked, "¿Estás enferma, Anita? Tengo la medicina." Roughly translated it means, "Are you sick? Because if so, my sweet, sweet lovin' will cure you." No medicina por favor. Although it was not funny at the time, Tyler and I get a good laugh about it now.

2.Bring snacks. Tyler has a low hunger threshold. He eats more than any human I know. To give an example, he always made a point to stop by Jumbo Slice when we lived in DC even if we had just gorged ourselves on brunch. Disgusted by his gluttony and concerned for his health, I attempted to bat the grease-laden pizza out of his hand every time, but his protests caused me to reevaluate my stance. I am now in the pro-snacks camp. We know we are more likely to pick fights with each other when we are "hangry" (hungry+angry), and we could avoid bickering altogether if we kept our blood sugar levels stable. While on long trips, granola bars and nuts help us stave off hunger pains and unnecessary squabbles.

3.Be generous with affection. Being in-tune with your partner's needs is important. We are each other's main emotional resource when we travel, and we have to be willing to keep each other's emotional "cup" full. Even if you feel like smacking the other person, small displays of affection go a long way; love can diffuse any situation. I am an affectionate person. I love being hugged. I love hugging on people. If we experience a stressful travel experience, like missing a flight or having a debit card compromised overseas, Tyler makes me feel better by just being nearby.

4.Practice patience. Personal space and time alone are a luxury while traveling. Tyler and I have irritated the hell out of each other at times on the road. This trip has taught me it is not normal to spend this much time with one person. When we are home, we go to the office or for a walk to blow off steam. Traveling in close quarters pushes our limits in ways we are not used to, but I have learned that patience is a muscle -- we have to keep working at it for it to grow stronger. Before saying something hurtful, I take a deep breath, count to 10, and try to let it go. Our shared commitment to being gentle with one another's feelings has paid off. Harsh words sink ships and certainly ruin overseas trips. We never regret when we speak to each other with kindness and patience.

5.Forgive quickly. Tyler is an entrepreneur and relies heavily on his laptop to run his business. While we were in Croatia this summer, I got stung by a bee, which caused me to jump out of my seat and flail my arms heedlessly knocking over a glass of water near Tyler's computer. While he scrambled to avoid major damage, my brain immediately jumped to the worst case scenario: I ruined his business. At the end of it, Tyler gave me a big hug and said, "Everything is okay." I am sure he was drawing from his well of patience at that moment. This experience reminds me to also practice forgiveness when he does things that frustrate me.

6.Decide beforehand how to split travel logistics. Every couple is different, and it is essential to figure out what works for you. Play to each other's strengths. In our case, I have a stockpile of frequent flyer miles and airline perks and am passionate about finding optimal flight routes. Tyler is a skilled Airbnb ninja and always finds amazing places for us to stay within our budget, so it makes sense for me to book our flights and for him to pick out our accommodation. We split other costs 50/50, and we consult each other before we make major decisions about our travel. On that note...

7.Keep track of expenses. On previous trips, we have disagreed about who has paid for what -- it was easy to forget exactly what each person spent when we were not tracking it. We now use the app Splitwise to enter what we have each paid for. Since we have started managing and accounting for our money better, these tiny arguments disappeared, and we have avoided money-related resentment. The Oanda Currency Converter app is also useful for accounting. It converts any currency instantly and is a lifesaver when traveling to multiple countries.

8.Seek time alone. Personal time is important. When we are constantly around each other, we understand the value of having time by ourselves. I love having time alone to read or practice yoga while Tyler pursues his own projects. Time away from each other helps us to enjoy our time together more. Plus, it is exciting to share the different activities we did that day with each other. Remember to take take time out for yourself. You will both be better off and happier for it.

9.Remember to reach out to other people. When traveling as a couple, we slip into that comfort zone of only talking to each other. It's easy for us to get trapped in our own adventure bubble. It is the path of least resistance. Before we started dating, we both frequently traveled solo. I find it is easier to make friends when traveling alone. Couples can come off intimidating and less approachable. Some of my favorite travel memories have been exploring with locals or other travelers, so remember to make an effort to meet people. These connections enhance the beauty of being overseas.

10.Savor the moments. There may be a time when circumstances do not allow us to travel. We never know when or if failing health, family obligations, or financial burdens will be the source of constant struggle. The experiences Tyler and I have had while traveling have forged a meaningful bond that I will take with me throughout my life. I remind myself to take a deep breath, shut off my smart phone, and be grateful for the moments we have together on this earth.

This article first appeared on The Travel Darling. Anne is on a year-long trip around the world with her partner in crime. Follow her journey on Instagram.

For more articles from The Travel Darling, visit:

Also on HuffPost:

15 Venices
Venice, Italy - The Venice of Venices (01 of16)
Open Image Modal
The Venice that started the whole "The Venice of..." craze, it's easily one of the most beautiful and romantic cities on earth, and it's an excellent place to visit if you are a fan of crowds of other tourists wondering why this place is so damn crowded. But seriously, if you follow the advice of the pros, you'll spend at least one night here and discover that the early mornings and evenings are amazing and easy to deal with.Find flights to Venice or get tips for visiting Venice on a budget
Venetian Resort - Venice of Las Vegas(02 of16)
Open Image Modal
Since the vast majority of Americans don't even have a passport, much less enough money for a flight to Italy, the Las Vegas Sands Corporation decided to grant a public service to under-traveled Americans by imploding the Sands Hotel and building a 5-star hotel in its place that has a kitchy and over-the-top Venice theme. You can now take a gondola ride through its indoor-outdoor canal system, and be piling prime rib onto your buffet plate less than 10 minutes later. Take that, Italy! The Venetian in Las Vegas has been such a success that it's spawned an imitator, in the name of a similar Venetian hotel in Macau (owned by the same company) that features the world's largest casino.Learn more about the Venetian Hotel
Venice, California - Venice of The West Coast(03 of16)
Open Image Modal
This is one of two actual 'fake' Venices on this list, since it was built in 1905 to copy the canal system (to some degree) of the Italian city it was named after. Over the following decades the city boomed and then fell into disarray, and the stagnant water in the remaining canals became something of a health hazard. But the canal area that sits a few blocks from the beach was cleaned up and revitalized, and it's quite nice to look at today, even though it's so out of the way that most people don't even know it's still there in this form.
San Antonio, USA - Venice of the Southwest(04 of16)
Open Image Modal
This huge city in Texas has a section called the River Walk, which is a series of canals just off the San Antonio River, and is said to be the number one tourist attraction in the state. It has at least a few bridges that appear to be inspired by Venice, Italy, so obviously its worthy of being known as the "Venice of the Southwest" by at least some people.Look for hotels in San Antonio
Ft. Lauderdale, USA - Venice of The East Coast(05 of16)
Open Image Modal
This touristy city just north of Miami used to be mostly known as a cheesy Spring Break destination, but its 165 miles of canals just behind the beach definitely do qualify it for its nickname "Venice of America." One major difference is the Italian waterways are used for shipping goods while these are mainly used so more people can park yachts in front of their houses and then get them out into the ocean.Find a flight to Fort Lauderdale
Puerto de Mogán, Canary Islands - Venice of the Canaries(06 of16)
Open Image Modal
In one of the more dubious claims on this list, this city in the Canary Islands (owned and operated by Spain) features what the most recent Wikipedia editor calls "Canal-like channels linking the marina to the fishing harbour." This seems to set the bar pretty low, but still it is sometimes called "Little Venice" or "Venice of the Canaries."Read about the diversity of the Canary Islands or find flights to the Canary Islands
Recife, Brazil - Venice of Brazil(07 of16)
Open Image Modal
Lately it's become more famous for its many shark attacks just off the coast, but this nearly-500-year-old city on the Eastern tip of the continent is also sometimes known as the "Brazilian Venice" due to the number of rivers and bridges in town. While it may be the closest thing Brazil has to the famous Italian city, this one does seem to stretch the moniker a bit. In our book, just having rivers and bridges doesn't cut it, but we don't get a say in these things.Book flights to Recife or learn about other places go in Brazil
Sète, France - Venice of Languedoc(08 of16)
Open Image Modal
"Languedoc," (in case you didn't know either) is the region in southern France that borders Spain and the Mediterranean Sea, so being known as the "Venice of Languedoc" may not sound like a big deal, but it turns out this city of around 40,000 actually resembles Venice, Italy more than probably any other on this list. The Canal du Midi spills into the sea here after its 240km journey from Bordeaux, and the whole town is filled with small waterways that actually look somewhat like the real Venice.Read more about the Languedoc region
Nantes, France - Venice of France(09 of16)
Open Image Modal
The 6th largest city in France is the largest in the Brittany region in the far west, so the fact that it has a canal network helped earn it the nickname "Venice of the West." The current description on its Wikipedia page says the name is, "owing to its position on the river delta of the Loire, the Erdre, and the Sèvre (whose tributaries were infilled in the early 20th century)." Sounds like a perfect match!Find a hostel in Nantes
St. Petersburg, Russia - Venice of Russia(10 of16)
Open Image Modal
This on-again, off-again capital of Russia sits on the Baltic Sea, and in the early 18th Century the city planners began digging a series of canals to help move goods around. Most of these canals remain, and the hundreds of bridges crossing over them definitely do make the Venice association believable.Book a flight to St. Petersburg or read our Russia travel guide
Monasterevin, Ireland - Venice of Ireland (11 of16)
Open Image Modal
This small town of around 2,300 people in County Kildare that sits on the N7 road that connects Dublin and Cork is sometimes known as the "Venice of Ireland," which does seem to be a bit of a stretch. A confusing passage on the Monasterevin city website says, "An aqueduct built in 1826 carries the Grand Canal over the River Barrow. Monasterevin is noted for its unusually high number of bridges," so it sounds like the combination of a 'Grand Canal' and some bridges were all it took to adopt its own Venice nickname, in spite of the small size and look of the place.Find flights to Ireland or read our Ireland travel guide
Basra, Iraq - Venice of the Middle East(12 of16)
Open Image Modal
Evidently, the canals that flow through this second-largest city in Iraq that sits near the Persian Gulf are at the mercy of the tides, so the nickname of "Venice of the Middle East" is only valid during parts of the day. We can excuse the city for not resembling Italy much, especially since any gondoliers that might have been here before have, up until very recently, been replaced by the British military.Read our Iraq travel guide
Amsterdam - The Venice Of Van Gogh And Marijuana(13 of16)
Open Image Modal
One of several cities sometimes called "Venice of the North," Amsterdam actually has more canals and bridges than the Italian city (and Hamburg, Germany has more bridges than both of those combined), so this is not some phony nickname that stretches the imagination. Amsterdam is also extremely well known for its network of gorgeous waterways, and some of the nicest are those in the Red Light District (pictured), which is the oldest part of the city. Plan our trip with our Amsterdam travel guide
Alappuzha, India - Venice of India (14 of16)
Open Image Modal
With over 2 million residents (this is India, after all) this is one of the largest cities on this list. Its canals somehow seemed unusual enough to earn it the title "Venice of the East" around 100 years ago, in spite of the fact that the canals themselves appear to be the only similarity, and even that might be stretching it.Book flights to India
Bangkok, Thailand - Venice of Southeast Asia(15 of16)
Open Image Modal
With its position on the Chao Phraya River basin, Bangkok actually has quite a bit in common with the real Venice. Its extensive canal network is actually not used for in-city shipping as much as it used to be, but the city is also said to be slowly sinking itself into the swamp. Many visitors will get to spend some quality time on the canals, as tours of the various "floating markets" in the area are a very popular novelty.Book a flight to Thailand or read about Bangkok's floating markets
Suzhou, China - Venice of the East(16 of16)
Open Image Modal
This city of over 6 million in the suburbs of Shanghai is on a lake and also near the mouth of the mighty Yangtze River, and evidently many centuries ago it had an extensive canal network, which earned it the nickname "Venice of the East." Most of those canals have since been paved back over, but enough still exist that they are a tourist attraction, and from certain angles this place actually does look just a bit like the Venice of Italy.Read our China travel guide or discover lesser-known places to visit in China

Our 2024 Coverage Needs You

As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.

Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.

to keep our news free for all.

Support HuffPost

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE