I recently had the, um, pleasure of meeting my husband's new girlfriend. Yes. I said "my husband's new girlfriend." This is the woman he moved in with immediately after he left me three months ago with a couple of young kids and a part-time job. Keep in mind: I wouldn't have ever agreed to meet this woman if there weren't kids involved. (You can't have your kids off with a total stranger, now can you?) I insisted on a face-to-face and let's just say, it didn't go well. In fact, nothing went well with this woman from day one.
So, I thought I'd be the bigger person and reach out to all the "other women" out there and offer some sage advice from the wife of the man they now call their own. (See how nice I am?)
Fine, I'll admit it: I'm bitter. But so what? Consider this part of my therapy.
1. I'm still married to the guy. So keep your butt out of our business until we can finalize our divorce. And yes, that includes our child visitation schedule, thankyouverymuch.
2. Don't insist on reading all the texts I send him. It's stalkery and sad.
3. Stop thinking that I want this loser back. Cuz, nope.
4. Don't push to be part of his children's lives, and for God's sake, don't make his kids share their precious visitation time with you.
5. I have kids, so, unfortunately, I'm going to have to meet you. When it's time, don't show up looking like some kind of model.
6. Or worse, like Pennsatucky from Orange Is The New Black (shudder).
7. Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to the man I'm still married to (who *newsflash* fathered my children) to interject your two cents. You are not part of our relationship.
8. Don't expect me to consider your feelings or place them above my own or my children's. Not even for one minute. Or one second. You don't matter to me.
9. You slept with my husband and broke up my family. The odds of me ever respecting you are slim to none, especially if you've done anything on this list. You are more than welcome to try to earn my respect.
10. But here's the best advice I can give to someone like you: Don't be the other woman. Seriously. Otherwise, you'll get exactly what that type of person deserves: my sh*tty husband. Congratulations.
More great content from YourTango:
What Constitutes Infidelity?
(01 of08)
Open Image Modal(02 of08)
Open Image ModalYounger people were more likely to consider it cheating if their partner kissed someone else on the lips than older people. Seventy-four percent of 18-29 year-olds polled would consider it cheating if their partner kissed someone else on the lips, as compared to 53 percent of those ages 30-44, 38 percent of 45-64 year-olds and 30 percent of those 65+. (credit:Shutterstock)
(03 of08)
Open Image ModalWomen were more likely than men to perceive it to be cheating if their partner sent a sexy text message or photo to someone else: 85 percent of women polled would consider it cheating, versus 74 percent of men. (credit:Shutterstock)
(04 of08)
Open Image ModalThere was a big discrepancy among men and women regarding forming a deep emotional connection with someone else: 70 percent of women said they would consider it cheating, compared to 50 percent of men. (credit:Shutterstock)
(05 of08)
Open Image ModalAge was also a factor in whether or not respondents said that forming a deep emotional connection with someone other than their partner constituted infidelity. While 69 percent of people ages 65+ would consider that cheating, only 52 percent of people ages 18-29 said the same. (credit:Shutterstock)
(06 of08)
Open Image ModalDemocrats and Republicans don't see eye to eye on strip clubs. Thirty-five percent of Republicans said that they would consider it cheating if their partner went to a strip club, compared to 19 percent of Democrats. (Sixty-eight percent of Democrats said they wouldn't consider it cheating, compared to 51 percent of Republicans). (credit:Shutterstock)
(07 of08)
Open Image ModalIf a partner were to reconnect with an ex on Facebook, 26 percent of women would consider it cheating (42 percent would not) compared to 21 percent of males (56 percent would not). (credit:Alamy)
(08 of08)
Open Image ModalRepublicans and Democrats also differed on the implications of reconnecting with an old flame on Facebook; 29 percent of Republicans said that they would consider it cheating (44 percent would not), versus 19 percent of Democrats (51 percent would not). (credit:Shutterstock)
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