So That's Why Porn Stars Have Such Good Skin

What: The Spermine Facial

(Which we couldn't find a photo of, but we think this one is better anyway.)

We're sorry to report that this is exactly what it sounds like. According to Fashionista (via New York Magazine), scientists have developed a wrinkle treatment using spermine, a component of human sperm. And to answer your next question, no, the spa does not obtain its specimen "naturally;" it's synthesized in a lab.

Why: Dear lord we wish we knew. We have so many questions. Who came up with this idea, and what was their inspiration? Did somebody notice that girls in XXX movies who got, er, facials needed less botox? How desperate would you have to be to try this? Has everybody lost their minds?

Pondering these questions is making our heads hurt. We'll quit trying to find the answer and hope a little preventative medicine, like Neutrogena's Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle Anti-Blemish Cleanser ($7.50), will keep us from ever needing to know.