Advice For The New Girlfriend, Courtesy Of His Ex-Wife

382322 01: 1999 Julia Roberts And Susan Sarandon Star In The Movie 'Stepmom.' (Photo By Getty Images)

Are you there, New Prospective Date/Girlfriend? It's me. The Ex-Wife. I'm not sure if you exist yet fully, but to all the women looking to get romantically involved with my ex, I figured I would send out the messenger pigeon. New Prospective Date/Girlfriend: I know you were hoping to not hear from me. Goodness knows I was hoping to not hear about one of you either. I know it's rude to say

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