2012 Holiday/Fauxliday Calendar | HuffPost

Not everyone is as savvy on pretend consumer holidays and actual holidays as pretentious bloggers are, and I'm just pretentious enough to be your guide through the season.

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Thanksgiving Thursday was the official start of Black Friday this year as retailers across the country opened for 24 hours and even extended sales into Small Business Saturday. As the dawn broke on Cyber Monday, a panic begins as our attention suddenly turns to the split day of Giving Tuesday/Mobile Tuesday. Which one of the fauxlidays will we honor? When is Hanukkah again? What about Krampus?!

Fear not, noble surfer of the internets! Not everyone is as savvy on pretend consumer holidays and actual holidays as pretentious bloggers are, and I'm just pretentious enough to be your guide through the season. Print this out and pin it to your shirt, so you'll never forget precisely what, how, and when we need you to buy things to commemorate the birth of Santa and other things.

2012 Holiday and "Fauxliday" Calendar

Nov. 21 - Pretend to Work Wednesday(01 of39)

Nov. 21 - Pretend to Work Wednesday (credit:AP)

Nov. 22 - Thanksgiving(02 of39)

(credit:AP)

Nov. 23 - Black Friday(03 of39)

(credit:AP)

Nov. 24- Small Business Saturday(04 of39)

Nov. 24- Small Business Saturday (credit:AP)

Nov. 25- Stop Being Offended at Early Christmas Displays Sunday(05 of39)

Nov. 25- Stop Being Offended at Early Christmas Displays Sunday (credit:Flickr:di_the_huntress)

Nov. 26- Cyber Monday(06 of39)

Nov. 26- Cyber Monday (credit:Flickr:Kevin Marks)

Nov. 27- Giving Tuesday / Mobile Tuesday(07 of39)

Nov. 27- Giving Tuesday / Mobile Tuesday

Nov. 28- Consider a Last Minute Overseas Vacation Wednesday(08 of39)

Nov. 28- Consider a Last Minute Overseas Vacation Wednesday (credit:Flickr:tata_aka_T)

Nov. 30- 30th Anniversary of the Release of "Thriller"/ Feel Old Friday(09 of39)

Nov. 30- 30th Anniversary of the Release of "Thriller"/ Feel Old Friday (credit:Flickr:Sarah_Ackerman)

Dec. 1 - First Legit Holiday Party Saturday (10 of39)

Dec. 1 - First Legit Holiday Party Saturday (credit:Flickr:dpstyles%u2122)

Dec. 2- First Holiday Hangover Sunday(11 of39)

Dec. 2- First Holiday Hangover Sunday (credit:Flickr:faster panda kill kill)

Dec. 3 - Cyber Erotica Monday(12 of39)

Dec. 3 - Cyber Erotica Monday

Dec. 4 - Tyra Banks' Birthday (13 of39)

Dec. 4 - Tyra Banks' Birthday (credit:AP)

Dec. 5- Krampus (Austria)(14 of39)

Dec. 5- Krampus (Austria)

Dec. 6 - Saint Nicholas Day - (Germany, Netherlands)(15 of39)

Dec. 6 - Saint Nicholas Day - (Germany, Netherlands) (credit:AP)

Dec. 7 - What The Hell is a "Krampus" Day - (USA, Canada)(16 of39)

Dec. 7 - What The Hell is a "Krampus" Day - (USA, Canada) (credit:Flickr:dullhunk)

Dec. 8 - Chocolate Coin Saturday / 1st Day of Hanukkah (17 of39)

Dec. 8 - Chocolate Coin Saturday / 1st Day of Hanukkah (credit:Flickr:OC Always)

Dec. 9- Gambling With Children Day/ 2nd Day of Hanukkah(18 of39)

Dec. 9- Gambling With Children Day/ 2nd Day of Hanukkah (credit:Flickr:woodleywonderworks)

Dec. 11 - We Forgot to Light Yesterday's Candle Monday / 4th Day of Hanukkah(19 of39)

Dec. 11 - We Forgot to Light Yesterday's Candle Monday / 4th Day of Hanukkah (credit:Flickr:chicagogeek)

Dec 12 - 1st Day of Chanukah / 5th Day of Hanukkah (20 of39)

Dec 12 - 1st Day of Chanukah / 5th Day of Hanukkah (credit:Flickr:daveynin)

Dec. 13- Blonde Girls Wearing Dangerous Looking Candles Thursday (Sweden, Norway, Minnesota, Wisconsin)(21 of39)

Dec. 13- Blonde Girls Wearing Dangerous Looking Candles Thursday (Sweden, Norway, Minnesota, Wisconsin)

Dec. 14 - Office Party Friday (22 of39)

Dec. 14 - Office Party Friday (credit:Flickr:TheChanel)

Dec. 15 - Blackmail Saturday (23 of39)

Dec. 15 - Blackmail Saturday (credit:Flickr:Loren Javier)

Dec. 16 - Last Day of Hanukkah (24 of39)

Dec. 16 - Last Day of Hanukkah

Dec. 17 - Probably Too Late to Mail Anything Monday(25 of39)

Dec. 17 - Probably Too Late to Mail Anything Monday (credit:Flickr:ajwazzer)

Dec. 18 - Baked Goods Excess Tuesday(26 of39)

Dec. 18 - Baked Goods Excess Tuesday (credit:Flickr:telepathicparanoia)

Dec. 19 - Spend Too Much on FedEx Shipping Wednesday (27 of39)

Dec. 19 - Spend Too Much on FedEx Shipping Wednesday (credit:Flickr:edkohler)

Dec. 20 - Get A Gift From Someone You Didn't Buy A Gift For Thursday(28 of39)

Dec. 20 - Get A Gift From Someone You Didn't Buy A Gift For Thursday (credit:Flickr:waferboard)

Dec. 21- Winter Solstice / Hippy Christmas/ Patchouli Awareness Day (29 of39)

Dec. 21- Winter Solstice / Hippy Christmas/ Patchouli Awareness Day (credit:Flickr:Dainis Matisons)

Dec. 22- Resent Your Family Saturday(30 of39)

Dec. 22- Resent Your Family Saturday

Dec. 23- Shopper Rage Sunday(31 of39)

Dec. 23- Shopper Rage Sunday (credit:AP)

Dec. 24 - Christmas Eve / Yearly Church Visit Monday(32 of39)

Dec. 24 - Christmas Eve / Yearly Church Visit Monday (credit:Flickr:mathewingram)

Dec. 25 - PRESENTS! / Watch "A Christmas Story" 5 Times Day (33 of39)

Dec. 25 - PRESENTS! / Watch "A Christmas Story" 5 Times Day (credit:Flickr:TRF_Mr_Hyde)

Dec. 26- Boxing Day (UK, Australia, Mike Tyson) / First Day of Kwanzaa(34 of39)

Dec. 26- Boxing Day (UK, Australia, Mike Tyson) / First Day of Kwanzaa (credit:AP)

Dec. 27 - Wear New Clothes to Work Thursday(35 of39)

Dec. 27 - Wear New Clothes to Work Thursday (credit:Flickr:spatulated)

Dec. 28- No Plans For NYE Panic Friday(36 of39)

Dec. 28- No Plans For NYE Panic Friday

Dec. 30 - Resignation To Another Lame New Year's Eve Saturday(37 of39)

Dec. 30 - Resignation To Another Lame New Year's Eve Saturday

New Years Eve(38 of39)

Dec. 31- New Year's Eve (credit:AP)

Jan. 1- New Year's Day / 1st Hangover of The Year/ 1st Walk of Shame of The Year (39 of39)

Jan. 1- New Year's Day / 1st Hangover of The Year/ 1st Walk of Shame of The Year (credit:Flickr:mik_p)

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