10 Ways Divorce Changes Your Parenting -- For The Better

10 Ways Divorce Changes Your Parenting -- For The Better
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Erik Isakson via Getty Images

 You don't know how strong and capable you are as a parent until you're forced to raise your kids on your own. Whether you have full or shared custody, parenting after divorce is a tough road to walk.

As difficult as it may be, it doesn't have to cripple you as a parent. Below, HuffPost Divorce followers on Facebook share how divorce made them a better parent.

 1. Your kids benefit from watching you navigate the unexpected.
"My boys have learned major life lessons watching me do it alone. The divorce wasn't something I saw coming or wanted to happen, but I know I'm a better person and a parent because of it!" -- Karen Nelson

 

2. Your spouse's needs no longer compete with your kids' needs.

"Before my divorce I was responsible for every detail of the children's lives and I tried to balance it with being a wife to my husband. Now that I am a single parent of four children, I feel I get to enjoy them more without worrying if their father is stressed out or annoyed. I know they will grow up and leave one day but until then I get to cherish every moment." -- Jennifer Melton  

 

3. "Me time" becomes a necessity -- and that's ultimately a good thing for your kids. 

"I had to become more calm and patient to parent alone. It forced me to discover 'me time,' even if it's just an hour at the gym or running, every day." -- Donna Martira
 
 
4. Your kids learn the value of a dollar.
"My circumstances mean I have to teach my child about money early on. Had she been in a married household as an only child, she may have had it cushier, which obviously has bonus points in itself, but now she hears me talk about the value of money and work more than before. Divorce is teaching her a lot about sacrifice, work and money. Is it sad she's learning it through divorce? Yes, but these lessons are so valuable nonetheless." -- Laura Lifshitz 
 

5. You go the extra mile to make sure your kids grow up as healthy and happy as possible. 

"I'm more focused on their welfare and emotional needs now. Before I think I assumed they would be OK. Now I feel like since they're coming from a divorced family they have the odds stacked against them so I try harder." -- Mariah Mattingly Dennison

 

6. The constant arguments in your household cease to exist. 

"We have more stability. There's no more arguing between me and my son's father. I can focus on my son and make sure he's healthy and happy."  -- Sara Elizabeth Worsham 

 

7. If you share custody, you make each second with your kids count.  
"Post-split, I have significantly less time with my daughter than I did before because I A: work more and B: share custody. This means when I do have time with her, I try to make the minutes matter. This partially means I pressure myself to be the perfect parent, but on the flip-side I also have been setting aside my phone more to be sure I am not distracted to make the time great. -- Laura Lifshitz
 

8. And the moments you have with them are all yours. 

"I love fatherhood -- and now my time with the kids is my time, no one else's." -- Nate Morton

 

9. There's room to create new traditions with the kids. 

"The kids and I do more things together as a family now. We do community service and get out and meet new people. We never did that before." -- Robin Madore Roper

 

10. Divorce molds you into a better parent and a better person. 

"Divorce taught me how to think before I speak, swallow both my anger and my pride, and put my child's needs before my own. I am both a better parent and a better person for having struggled through my divorce. I make each decision acutely aware of how they will affect my child." -- Janice Charles 

More from HuffPost: 

Love After Divorce
(01 of31)
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"I would go through the hell of my divorce a million over to have these two little boys in my life. They have taught me more about unconditional love, life and myself in their precious short lives than I had ever discovered in my 25 years before them." -Hannah Robinson (credit:JN Photography )
(02 of31)
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"Love after divorce is wonderful. We're a big blended family now." -Barry Fraser (credit:Barry Fraser)
(03 of31)
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"I didn't know if it would even be possible to find love after divorce, but I met my true match when I was 40, right when I least expected it. And at 44, I had the child I never thought I'd have. If it hadn't been for these late-in-life events, I wouldn't have found out about the cancer inside me until it was too late. They discovered it during the C-section that brought our daughter into the world. All I can say is, never question the timing of the universe!" -Joanna Montgomery (credit:Joanna Montgomery)
(04 of31)
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"I would define love as the bond between me and my son. I love that I caught on camera the way he looks at me! That's unconditional love!" -Jessica McCarthy (credit:Jessica McCarthy )
(05 of31)
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"This is what love looks like after divorce. After taking the time to love myself again, I met a man who loves me for me. Love IS possible after divorce. This is proof." -Melissa Hyatt (credit:Kimberly Hyatt Jackson Photographics )
(06 of31)
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"Nahla, my red-nosed pitbull is love in the most perfect way for me. She watched as my marriage crumbled in the hands of my abusive husband. Though she couldn't save me physically -- I had to do that myself -- she saved me emotionally. I credit my strength and bravery to her. She was (and is) a steady ear to listen and paw to hold." -Jenny Sampley (credit:Jenny Sampley)
(07 of31)
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"After divorce, I found solo happiness, then meet an amazing girl, got married and we now have a two-year-old princess and another one on the way next month." -Matt Simms (credit:Matt Simms)
(08 of31)
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"Three years after my divorce, my daughters Emily and Sarah define love for me. They exemplify the true meaning of unconditional love: so pure, honest and true. They love without fear, nor judgement of others. They don't hold grudges or count rights or wrongs. They show me the true meaning of love. After the divorce I thought I wasn't capable of finding that love again but my children remind me daily that I never lost it." -Susan Grace (credit:Susan Grace)
(09 of31)
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"This is love. We are a newly married and blended family. What a crazy ride to get where we are now. And oddly enough, my ex and I have found a pretty civil way to handle parenting after divorce." -Nicole Messer (credit:Afton Marie Photography)
(10 of31)
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"Love after divorce is all about showing and sharing with my son what is good and right in life!" -David Gray (credit:David Gray )
(11 of31)
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"Divorce, for me, has meant happiness. Don't get me wrong, divorce is hard as sh*t...but then that wasn't far off from how married life was for me. My life is so much easier now. I can be a better, happier mom for my kids. I've also had a lot of fun meeting new people and I recently met a guy who was also going through a divorce and has kids who are about the same age as mine. Neither off us is ready to jump into anything serious, but both agree that we enjoy each others' company. Life is good!" -Erin Delpercio (credit:Erin Delpercio)
(12 of31)
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"This is me hanging out with my BFF wolf pack. This is what love is all about after divorce!" -Dominique Lamb (credit:Dominique Lamb)
(13 of31)
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"This is me and my new partner Jamie Laban. I couldn’t be happier and my three children from my previous marriage love and adore the three more children created from this new relationship!" -Wendy Fox (credit:Wendy Fox)
(14 of31)
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"This is what love looks like now for me: co-sleeping with the kids, pushed to the edge of the bed, but giving my girls the security they need right now and seeing their sweet faces when I open my eyes every morning " -Leslie Foxworth (credit:Leslie Foxworth)
(15 of31)
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"I found my amazing smile and started to love myself again after 13 years of loving the wrong person. I will never place someone else's happiness before my own." -Armando Ramirez (credit:Armando Ramirez)
(16 of31)
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"Love after divorce is realizing that the one who saves you and gives you your happy ending is not Prince Charming, it's the little girl who calls you mommy!" -Yanely (credit:Yanely)
(17 of31)
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"After going through a divorce, it took a while to let my guard down and let someone in. But my current husband accepted my past and my baggage and helped me see the good in me. Love after a divorce is scary but I'm glad I let him in because he makes me strive to be better and loves me. We now have a beautiful baby girl together." -Marissa Riembauer (credit:Troy Ryan )
(18 of31)
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"I'm sending this photo on behalf of my amazing mom who would want me to send it (if she had a Twitter and knew how to use it -- ha). Love is an awesome mom and her three kids who don't need a dad in the picture!" -Hannah Losi-Strader (credit:Hannah Losi-Strader)
(19 of31)
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"Being divorced means I can visit my family in Hawaii more often. (credit:@NASCAR_Hula)
(20 of31)
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"I would say that as I a newly divorced single mom, love comes in smaller, messier packages but is unconditional and completely spontaneous." -Denise Lee (credit:Denise Lee)
(21 of31)
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"Life and love after divorce is many hours spent at CrossFit, taking on new and exciting challenges (Spartan Race -- killed it!), dancing in the street and a new boyfriend." -Juliana Galardi (credit:Juliana Galardi)
(22 of31)
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"This is my girlfriend Jennifer Henley whom I met five years after my divorce. We've been dating five months and I couldn't be happier! ❤️" -Ron Hernandez (credit:Ron Hernandez)
(23 of31)
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"Here's a photo of my son with my parents, my ex's parents, his step-father's parents and my ex-husband. We are one big happy dysfunctional family but we're strong, healthy and happy." -Kelly Kesler (credit:Kelly Kesler)
(24 of31)
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"Well, life after divorce certainly has its ups and downs. (And I won't be cliché enough to say there's more ups!) This picture of my boys and I sums up how I define love after divorce." -Sara I. (credit:Sara I. )
(25 of31)
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"Since the divorce, my daughter Nora and I have leaned on each other as mother and daughter in a a whole new way." -Erin Hendrickson (credit:Erin Hendrickson )
(26 of31)
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"Here's my son and me. He's 12 and has autism. He and his younger brother are my everything." -Robyn Rodriguez Gillis (credit:Robyn Rodriguez Gillis)
(27 of31)
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"This is what love looks like to me post-divorce and I wouldn't trade it for anything!" -Jen Ischay (credit:Jen Ischay )
(28 of31)
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"Love after divorce? It looks something like this..." -Amanda Amato (credit:Amanda Amato )
(29 of31)
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"I discovered love after my divorce. My attitude toward men has changed quite a lot. I learned what was really important to me in life and how to live on my own." -Maryam Dadkhah (credit:Maryam Dadkhah)
(30 of31)
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"Here we are, a whole lot happier!" -Ashley Croom (credit:Ashley Croom )
(31 of31)
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"Here is a pic of me and my two boys on Mother's Day this year. This is love to me since my divorce." -Claire Leek (credit:Claire Leek )

 Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook.

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