What It's Like To Be A Twice-Divorced Mom At 28

What It's Like To Be A Twice-Divorced Mom At 28
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"This Is Divorce At..." is a HuffPost Divorce series delving into divorce at every stage of life. Want to share your experience of divorcing at a certain age? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com or tweet @HuffPost Divorce

What's it like to be making arrangements for your second divorce when all your friends are busy planning their first weddings? It's as jarring and lonely of an experience as you might expect, says Natalie Nyquist, a young mom with two divorces under her belt.

"I was married at 23, remarried at age 25 and divorced again at 28 with a tiny baby in tow," she said. "Life, clearly, has been an adventure."

Below, Nyquist tells us more of her story and shares with us her best advice for young divorcés struggling to make sense of life after a separation.

My first marriage lasted less than four months, in large part due to the strain of being in a military marriage. I was 24. By the time my photos from the wedding photographer arrived, I was already separated from my husband. I still felt like a kid -- too young to have been married, much less divorced. The suddenness of it all left me reeling.

I didn’t know anyone divorced near my age, and I assumed everyone judged me for messing up my life so quickly. In reality, most people were kind, though awkwardly so. Many of my friends were still single or planning their weddings. As they began marrying and my Facebook feed began to clog with romantic photos of their first this-and-that together, I felt alone in my grief. I battled severe depression and stopped eating. I expressed my pain through being hard on my body (not recommended).

I remarried at 25 and divorced again at 28. I had a three-week-old baby and no idea what to do. It took me a few years to get myself to a balanced place physically and emotionally. Now that I’m healthy and love my life, I’m thankful for the strength and confidence I have as a result of working through all the pain. I even write about it. (Also not necessarily recommended! As if word doesn't already get around that you're divorced within your neighborhood, my divorces were analyzed and discussed online because of my then-popularity as a blogger -- two divorces did wonders for that.)

So from all that experience, what's my advice for any twenty-something currently going through a divorce of his or her own? Take any future relationship slowly. I remarried too quickly and would love to spare others that heartache by recommending they slow down. Having the so-called stigma of a divorce is bad enough without having to tell people you’ve been divorced twice. More importantly, as many of us already know, being single is infinitely better than being in a bad marriage.

Try to find humor wherever you can. My sense of humor is a bit twisted, but making light of things helped me get through the day, even if no one else got my jokes. One hard event was my brother’s wedding, which occurred during my first divorce proceedings. I made it all the way through the ceremony, but when my brother hugged me at the reception, I lost all control. I pulled the whole “run to the bathroom and cry hard, then pretend you’re fine” routine. Then my grandfather and I began dancing and we started talking about my need for a divorce lawyer. I started crying, but it quickly turned into us laughing at the absurdity of it all. Sometimes the bizarreness of our life as newly divorced person means you do a lot of crying. If you can, choose to laugh.

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Before You Go

Young Celebrity Divorcees
Jane Levy(01 of20)
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The "Suburgatory" star filed for divorce this week to end her seven-month marriage to actor Jaime Freitas. She is 23 years old. (credit:Getty Images)
Anna Camp(02 of20)
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The "Pitch Perfect" star is currently divorcing her husband of three years, Michael Mosley. She is 30 years old. (credit:Getty Images)
Jessica Simpson(03 of20)
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Simpson divorced Nick Lachey when she was 25, after three years of marriage (and one reality series). (credit:Getty Images)
Ashlee Simpson(04 of20)
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The younger Simpson sister divorced Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz when she was 26, after over two years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Zooey Deschanel(05 of20)
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The quirky "New Girl" divorced Death Cab for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard at 32, after roughly three years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Olivia Wilde(06 of20)
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Wilde divorced Italian filmmaker Tao Ruspoli when she was 27, after eight years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Avril Lavigne(07 of20)
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Lavigne divorced Sum 41 singer Deryck Whibley when she was 26, after three years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Scarlett Johansson(08 of20)
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Johansson divorced actor Ryan Reynolds when she was 26, after two years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Reese Witherspoon(09 of20)
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The Oscar winner divorced husband Ryan Phillippe at 31, after seven years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
LeAnne Rimes(10 of20)
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The singer was 26 when she divorced husband Dean Sheremet after seven years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Drew Barrymore(11 of20)
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Barrymore is twice divorced: She split from Jeremy Thomas at the age of 20 after just a few months of marriage; she also divorced comedian Tom Green after a year of marriage, at 26. (credit:Getty Images)
Kate Hudson(12 of20)
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Hudson divorced her husband, Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson, at 27 after six years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Katy Perry(13 of20)
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The pop princess divorced Russell Brand at 27, after a sole year of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Britney Spears(14 of20)
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The famed singer divorced Kevin Federline at 24, after two years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Jamie-Lynn Sigler(15 of20)
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The now-pregnant actress divorced her husband/manager, A.J. DiScala, at 24 after two years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Angelina Jolie(16 of20)
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The world's most beautiful woman is also twice divorced: She split from Jonny Lee Miller at 23 after three years of marriage, and divorced Billy Bob Thornton at 26, also after three years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Katie Holmes(17 of20)
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Holmes divorced Tom Cruise at 33, after over five years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Kim Kardashian(18 of20)
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Yet another star who's twice divorced, Kim split from Damon Thomas at age 24 after almost four years of marriage. She finally got her much coveted divorce from Kris Humphries at 32, after just 72 days of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)
Nicole Kidman(19 of20)
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The Aussie actress was 33 when she divorced her husband of 10 years, Tom Cruise. (credit:Getty Images)
Uma Thurman(20 of20)
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The "Kill Bill" femme fatale is also twice divorced: She divorced Gary Oldman at 22 after two years of marriage; and actor Ethan Hawke at 34 after six years of marriage. (credit:Getty Images)

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