In international news, rebels revealed today that the tyrannical Libyan leader, Muammar Gaddafi, has been located on the corner of 170th and St. Nicholas Avenue in New York City. Gaddafi, who disappeared weeks ago, apparently found shelter in a quaint one-bedroom walk-up in the friendly, predominantly Dominican neighborhood.
"Muammar Gaddafi will no longer be a menace to the entire world or the domino-playing culture in the up-and-coming Washington Heights area," said press secretary Jay Carney. "Gaddafi, or 'Osito' as the neighborhood children affectionately called him, will finally be held accountable for the insurmountable injustices he's spawned, and the escalating tab he's accumulated at La Caridad around the corner. There is no doubt in my mind that justice will prevail."
According to sources, Libyan officials plan to immediately arraign Gaddafi and put him on trial, but have agreed to let him finish a quick game to 100.
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