Comedybest-of-craigslistbicycleVideo

Craigslist Bike Ad Is A Thing Of Poetry

Read This Craiglist Ad Now
|
Open Image Modal

Some men were born to be artists. Others, captain of industry. But we found one guy whose calling is clear: Writing Craigslist ads.

The seller, Ryan, is a New York-based cyclist who needs to get rid of his bicycle, so he put it up on Craigslist with a moving (and verbose) testimonial of why his bike is so great.

A few choice excerpts:

What makes this bike so much better than every other bike that has ever been pedaled? Glad you asked. It starts with the paint scheme. It looks like Iron Man if Iron Man were a bike. That's bold, son. Curb appeal. It's probably also why some piece of trash stole the front tire that originally came with this beauty. Why didn't he steal the whole bike? Because he knew he wasn't man enough. That's ok, I replaced it with something that looks even more boss.

And:

It offers 3 speeds, as the name implies. It also offers a terrific chance to introduce that dome of yours to the asphalt if you fucking sleep for one single second on this bitch. So don't trip. Ride safe. Get a helmet and if you've never ridden a fixed gear bike, maybe it's time to move along, young sir because this back tire doesn't flip flop and it doesn't offer any respite.

Suffice to say, if he doesn't sell this bike soon, the written word is dead. Check out the whole ad here.

Our 2024 Coverage Needs You

As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.

Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.

to keep our news free for all.

Support HuffPost

Before You Go

There's A Reason It's Free On Craigslist
Photo ID Required(01 of26)
Open Image Modal
No Fred impersonators please. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/3133745747.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/3133745747.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="25" data-vars-position-in-unit="27">Craigslist</a>)
Free Industrial Sized Wooden Spool(02 of26)
Open Image Modal
What would be the logistics of having sex on a spool? Wouldn't it roll? (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/knx/668412417.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/knx/668412417.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="24" data-vars-position-in-unit="26">Craigslist</a>)
Free Urn(03 of26)
Open Image Modal
This Urn must be pretty durable if the only thing destroyed in the fall was poor Dino (R.I.P.). (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/atl/1968562911.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/atl/1968562911.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="23" data-vars-position-in-unit="25">Craigslist</a>)
Free Trampoline(04 of26)
Open Image Modal
Doesn't it technically belong to this posters' neighbors at this point? (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ind/2904601473.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ind/2904601473.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="22" data-vars-position-in-unit="24">Craigslist</a>)
Free Kool Aid Costume(05 of26)
Open Image Modal
We're so bummed that this prank didn't work. It involved so much planning and so little measuring. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pia/2349867638.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pia/2349867638.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="21" data-vars-position-in-unit="23">Craigslist</a>)
Free Keyboard(06 of26)
Open Image Modal
Maybe it could be used as a keyboard prop for a student film set in 1999. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/473011361.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/473011361.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="20" data-vars-position-in-unit="22">Craigslist</a>)
Not Seaworthy(07 of26)
Open Image Modal
We never thought about all the amazing ways you could use a canoe. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/1986002742.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/1986002742.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="19" data-vars-position-in-unit="21">Craigslist</a>)
Free Chronicles Of Riddick DVD(08 of26)
Open Image Modal
We wonder if seven years later this is still by this guys' tree. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/64154081.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/64154081.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="18" data-vars-position-in-unit="20">Craigslist</a>)
Free VCR With Porno Video Stuck In It(09 of26)
Open Image Modal
"Awesome" is a good adjective for any porn really. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/78715865.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/78715865.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="17" data-vars-position-in-unit="19">Craigslist</a>)
Free Dog House(10 of26)
Open Image Modal
So, if we got this the first thing we would do is wash it, right? (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/1156515169.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/1156515169.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="16" data-vars-position-in-unit="18">Craigslist</a>)
Free Cello(11 of26)
Open Image Modal
This should really say "two free half cellos." (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/2111720687.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/2111720687.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="15" data-vars-position-in-unit="17">Craigslist</a>)
Free Bar Of Yugoslavian Soap(12 of26)
Open Image Modal
Sharing soap sounds like the beginning of a "Contagion"-like movie. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/95621706.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/95621706.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="14" data-vars-position-in-unit="16">Craigslist</a>)
Free Hot Tub(13 of26)
Open Image Modal
This seems like a problem for duct tape. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/anc/880259510.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/anc/880259510.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="13" data-vars-position-in-unit="15">Craigslist</a>)
Free Magnum Condoms(14 of26)
Open Image Modal
A super chic person deserves these condoms. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/1168173164.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/1168173164.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="12" data-vars-position-in-unit="14">Craigslist</a>)
Free Stuffed Walrus Head(15 of26)
Open Image Modal
It's nice to be able to stop by whenever. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/stg/1572350212.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/stg/1572350212.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="11" data-vars-position-in-unit="13">Craigslist</a>)
Free Downed Weather Balloon(16 of26)
Open Image Modal
What are the bones? No!!! (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/982950921.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/982950921.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="10" data-vars-position-in-unit="12">Craigslist</a>)
Ugly Mean Cat(17 of26)
Open Image Modal
Lou just needs a good home. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/inl/2434325556.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/inl/2434325556.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="9" data-vars-position-in-unit="11">Craigslist</a>)
Free Playschool Talking Barbeque(18 of26)
Open Image Modal
Why it's never a good idea to buy toys with sound effects. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/62536803.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/62536803.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="8" data-vars-position-in-unit="10">Craigslist</a>)
Free Mini Donkey(19 of26)
Open Image Modal
We really hope these two kids worked it out. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/2888886770.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/2888886770.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="7" data-vars-position-in-unit="9">Craigslist</a>)
Free Toilet(20 of26)
Open Image Modal
It's sort of annoying that this person wants the action figure back. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ric/1616580496.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ric/1616580496.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="6" data-vars-position-in-unit="8">Craigslist</a>)
Free Stump(21 of26)
Open Image Modal
This would go for like $500 at Anthropologie. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/1182988320.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/1182988320.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="5" data-vars-position-in-unit="7">Craigslist</a>)
Free Boxspring(22 of26)
Open Image Modal
The last little tip really feels warranted. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/247317138.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/247317138.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="4" data-vars-position-in-unit="6">Craigslist</a>)
Free Piano For Catapult Artisan(23 of26)
Open Image Modal
If you were catapulting it out, why would it be aimed at all near the apartment? (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/173354894.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/173354894.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="3" data-vars-position-in-unit="5">Craigslist</a>)
Free 9 Packets Of Regular Flavor Quaker Instant Oatmeal(24 of26)
Open Image Modal
This isn't that funny, but we just want to advertise how terrible regular flavored oatmeal is. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/45804131.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/45804131.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="2" data-vars-position-in-unit="4">Craigslist</a>)
Free Couch(25 of26)
Open Image Modal
We kind of want to save this couch. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/44680344.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/44680344.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="3">Craigslist</a>)
Free Kung-Fu Gerbil (26 of26)
Open Image Modal
We really appreciate that this poster didn't feel the need to go back and change the original post once he realized his error. (credit:<a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/46145943.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Craigslist" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad20cee4b04234e856f5d2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/46145943.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="2">Craigslist</a>)
Suggest a correction
|
Submit a tip