Facebook braggarts may be smarter than we think.
We love to complain about friends who constantly post about their fabulous relationships, jobs, and experiences on social media, but research shows these expressions of gratitude can actually make people happier. As the holidays approach, we will likely see a resurgence of social media "gratitude challenges," meant to tap into the psychological benefits of journaling and thankfulness. If we consider how people use Facebook to share and document positive feelings, though, the #blessed don't appear so self-absorbed. But that doesn't mean we should let rose-tinted social profiles prevent us from offering real-life support.
As far back as the 1930s, psychologists have observed the emotional and physical benefits of recording experiences of hope, love, and gratitude. Today, journaling and listing the positives in your life is a widely supported strategy to promote well-being. "You can infuse ordinary events with meaning by expressing appreciation, love and gratitude, even for simple things," said Barbara L. Fredrickson in her paper "The Value of Positive Emotions." Fredrickson is a Psychology Professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill and one of the leading academics in the realm of Positive Psychology. This relatively new discipline studies how to increase well-being, not just treat illness.
Some critics point to constant social media sharing as evidence of an epidemic of narcissism, but the reasons we share now often resemble the reasons our grandparents did. Twenty years ago, someone who was just offered a job or found out they are pregnant might immediately start phoning family and friends to share their excitement. We love to share good news. Is posting it on Facebook really so different? In just a few seconds, we can spread exciting news to our entire network.
But we don't post just to communicate with others. Platforms like Facebook are also a way of recording important or meaningful moments in our lives. Social media profiles have become our digital scrapbooks. They are easy to add to and can't be misplaced or damaged. You may grow tired of the endless pictures of your friend's child, but unlike previous generations, they probably won't lament neglecting their kid's baby book. They may not have a construction paper shrine to Joey's first steps, first haircut, and first birthday, but ten years from now parents need only search their profile to find text, pictures, and even video of these events.
"That's great, but why do they need to show everybody?"
In reality, most people aren't. While users of Twitter and Instagram often make their profiles available to anyone, posts to Facebook, by far the most popular platform, are usually limited to one's friends. The whole wide world is not seeing your coworker's baby shower pictures or updates on their marathon training. And if you don't want to see them either, you don't have to. You can now maintain a cyberspace relationship without actually having to see your cousin's daily selfie. Facebook and Twitter both allow you to mute particular friends. You don't have to see their updates and they don't come asking why you unfollowed them. Complaining about your friends oversharing on social media is like saying you can't stand a certain radio station. Turn it off or change the station.
Although noting the positives in our lives can benefit the person posting, profiles that show nothing but success and happiness can be misleading for the audience. No one wants to publicize their failures. When your relationship is rocky or you're falling behind at work, you might share it with a close friend, but you probably don't want to broadcast it to your entire network. The urge to share good news and keep bad news hidden means that Facebook gives a skewed representation of our day-to-day life. We are acutely aware of the disappointments and setbacks in our own lives but rarely see others struggling when we look through our Facebook feed. Comparing our ups and downs with the seemingly charmed lives of others has been associated with decreased life satisfaction and self-esteem.
This is why it is so important to recognize Facebook for what it is: a highlights reel. It's like only watching the top 10 plays on Sports Center; you see the triumphant moments but don't see the training, injuries, and losses. Don't take family and friends' social profiles at face value. You don't need to be a happy person to have a happy profile.
Social media is a great tool for sharing joy and gratitude, but a strong relationship is built on sharing the bad along with the good. We need to share the experiences that don't make the scrapbook and rely on each other when we don't feel like we have much to celebrate. Let your loved ones record and share their happiness on Facebook. If you want the whole story, give them a call.
Studies About Kids And Technology
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "While longitudinal research does allow us to speak in terms of a 'causal' relationship, it is probably more accurate and useful to think about media violence as a 'risk factor' rather than a 'cause' of violence — one variable among many that increases the risk of violent behavior among some children." (credit:Alamy)
January 2013: Screen Time Not Linked To Kids' Physical Activity(03 of18)
Open Image ModalOpen Image ModalSource: FacebookGist: "We investigated anonymized and automatically processed posts and comments by people self-identified as parents and children to understand how conversation patterns with each other might be a bit different from those with their other friends." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: "Most parents of teenagers are concerned about what their teenage children do online and how their behavior could be monitored by others. Some parents are taking steps to observe, discuss, and check up on their children’s digital footprints." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's HealthGist: "In this Poll, nearly two out of three adults expressed strong support for proposed COPPA updates, including requiring apps designed for kids to confirm that users are at least 13 and prohibiting apps from collecting personal information from users under age 13." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Family Online Safety InstituteGist: "These surveys indicate that teens’ concerns about their online safety parallel parents’ concerns more closely than parents realize and that many teens are taking steps to protect their privacy and personal information. Nonetheless, teens suggest that parents are not as informed about what their teens do online as parents think they are, and some teens are taking risks by providing personal information to strangers online." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "America’s teachers -- whether they are long-time classroom veterans or young, tech-savvy ones, at wealthy schools or low-income schools, public or private, elementary or high school -- surface relatively consistent concerns: Students are having issues with their attention span, writing, and face-to-face communication, and, in the experience of teachers, children’s media use is contributing to the problem. On the plus side, teachers find that young people’s facility with media is helping them find information quickly and multitask more effectively." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "Three out of four teens have social networking sites, and half of all teens are on their sites on a daily basis. But despite our concerns about social media, in the vast majority of cases, these media do not appear to be causing great tumult in teenagers’ lives." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: “The volume of texting among teens has risen from 50 texts a day in 2009 to 60 texts for the median teen text user. The frequency of teens' phone chatter with friends - on cell phones and landlines - has fallen. But the heaviest texters are also the heaviest talkers with their friends.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: "There was no evidence that children receiving the active video games were more active in general, or at anytime, than children receiving the inactive video games." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: “This updated policy statement provides further evidence that media—both foreground and background—have potentially negative effects and no known positive effects for children younger than 2 years. Thus, the AAP reaffirms its recommendation to discourage media use in this age group. This statement also discourages the use of background television intended for adults when a young child is in the room.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "Nine-month-olds spend nearly an hour a day watching television or DVDs, 5-year-olds are begging to play with their parents’ iPhones, and 7-year-olds are sitting down in front of a computer several times a week to play games, do homework, or check out how their avatars are doing in their favorite virtual worlds. Television is still as popular as ever, but reading may be beginning to trend downward. Having an accurate understanding of the role of media in children’s lives is essential for all of those concerned about promoting healthy child development: parents, educators, pediatricians, public health advocates, and policymakers, to name just a few." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: The Huffington PostGist: “[E]xperts have some serious concerns regarding the methods and conclusions of the first study evaluating the connection between cell phone radiation and brain cancer in children and teens. Not only was the study flawed, they note, but it was also financially supported by the cell phone industry.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: “This study found that greater television and computer use was related to greater psychological difficulties, independent of gender, age, level of deprivation, pubertal status, and objectively measured physical activity andsedentary time.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: "Viewing television and playing video games each are associated with increased subsequent attention problems in childhood. It seems that a similar association among television, video games, and attention problems exists in late adolescence and early adulthood." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: “Fully two-thirds of teen texters say they are more likely to use their cell phones to text their friends than talk to them to them by cell phone.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Kaiser Family FoundationGist: “Today, 8-18 year-olds devote an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes (7:38) to using entertainment media across a typical day (more than 53 hours a week). And because they spend so much of that time ‘media multitasking’ (using more than one medium at a time), they actually manage to pack a total of 10 hours and 45 minutes (10:45) worth of media content into those 7½ hours.” (credit:Shutterstock)
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