55 Ways To Freak Your Family Out At Thanksgiving Dinner | HuffPost

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Associate Editor of News and Emerging Platforms, HuffPost

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Thanksgiving is great and all, but how boring is having to repeat the same thing every year? So boring. In fact, we think it's about damn time we spice up this holiday.

The below tips and tricks are bound to get the party started and give your family dinner plenty of plot twists to keep things interesting. You're welcome, America.

1. Shave your head.

2. Shave your eyebrows.

3. Shave your head and shave your cat and impersonate Dr. Evil all night. Bonus points if you find someone to play Mini Me.

4. Shave your grandmother's head and tell everyone she's having a Britney Spears circa 2007 moment.

5. Basically just shave everyone's heads.

6. Get a neck tattoo.

7. Get a neck tattoo of Justin Bieber.

8. Announce you're joining a nunnery.

9. Announce you're joining a brothel.

10. Announce you've been selected to fight for the love of your life on the upcoming season of "The Bachelor."

11. Instead of saying grace, ask for a few moments to repent for your sins at the table.

12. Instead of saying grace, sing the lyrics to Beyoncé's "Drunk in Love."

13. While slicing the turkey, softly whisper to the meat, "Do you like that?"

14. Loudly exclaim "YUM!" with every bite you take.

15. Hide the turkey and tell everyone that the bird came back to life and escaped.

16. Arrive wearing a meat dress à la Lady Gaga.

17. Show up butt naked.

18. Aggressively chew your food with your mouth open, preferably while making distinct sounds.

19. Grab the wine bottle and start chugging.

20. Whip out a funnel and start funneling wine into your mouth.

21. When your mom asks you to bring dessert, show up with pumpkin pie-flavored vodka and scream "Shots on me, bitches!"

22. When your mom asks you to bring pie, show up with a giant marijuana edible.

23. Tell everyone you got fired. This only works if you did not.

24. Tell everyone you got fired for sleeping with your boss' spouse.

25. Tell everyone you quit your job to go live on a cow farm in Argentina.

26. Tell everyone you quit your job to pursue your true passion to become a world renown beatboxer.

27. Declare that you met the love of your life on Craigslist.

28. When your parents ask you why you never bring a date to Thanksgiving dinner, tell them you did have a date this year but they got arrested and couldn't make bail.

29. Get grills on your teeth and say you go by Miley now.

30. Show up to the dinner in full pilgrim garb.

31. Stand up on the kids' table and start aggressively twerking.

32. Speak in Pig Latin for the entire meal.

33. Every time someone asks you to pass a dish, scream "NO!" and keep eating.

34. As soon as the turkey is placed on the table, lick the entire bird in front of everyone.

35. When you see the turkey, start hysterically crying for all the killed turkeys and beg your entire family to become vegetarian.

36. Spank your grandmother's bottom every time you walk past her.

37. Turn to your sibling when they're next to your father and whisper in their ear, "Who's your daddy?"

38. Tell your parents about every person you slept with in college and how much fun you had.

39. Tell your mother you're never planning on having children. This only works if you are.

40. Tell your mother you already had your first child, you named it Bert.

41. Tell your mother you're pregnant and have no idea who the father is.

42. Show up with a pet snake around your neck and strut around the table singing "Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears.

43. Light up a bong at the table and blow smoke all over the kids.

44. Get your grandpa high as a kite.

45. Pick up the turkey, hug it passionately, and say: "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

46. Strategically place fake bugs all over the food and watch everyone flip their sh-t.

47. Fart loudly at the table.

48. Fart loudly on a family member.

49. Place your bare feet on the table and start clipping your toenails.

50. Tell your sibling she was actually adopted and initiate a family confrontation.

51. Eat without using your hands.

52. Flick a spoonful of mashed potatoes onto the relative sitting directly across from you and scream "Food fight!"

53. Hide a giant dildo inside the turkey stuffing and when someone digs it up say "I've been looking everywhere for that!"

54. Tell your parents you pierced your nipples.

55. Tell your parents you're voting for Trump.

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(31 of46)

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(32 of46)

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(33 of46)

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(34 of46)

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(35 of46)

I'm Down by Mishna Wolff

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(36 of46)

Go The F**k To Sleep by Adam Mansbach

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(37 of46)

The Book Of Joan by Melissa Rivers

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(38 of46)

The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain

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(39 of46)

You Deserve A Drink by Mamrie Hart

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(40 of46)

Cruel Shoes by Steve Martin

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(41 of46)

Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

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(42 of46)

Sex. Drugs, And Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

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(43 of46)

The Life And Times Of The Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson

"As a humorist, Bryson falls somewhere between the one-liner genius of Dave Barry and the narrative brilliance of David Sedaris. He’s not above sublime lowbrow fat and feces jokes, but at his best he spools out operatically funny vignettes of sustained absurdity that nevertheless remain grounded in universal experience." – The New York Times (credit:Amazon)

(44 of46)

Candide by Voltaire

"This 1759 satire about being thrust from the insular, optimistic world of academic study into the harsh realities of unsheltered life is kind of a perfect metaphor for the post-college struggle. The book's wild, globe-trotting plot is hilarious in a Monty Python sort of way: violence and heartbreak are treated with a deadpan tone, making it impossible not to laugh at uncomfortable scenarios. The book concludes with a moral all young people could stand to hear, but not before wryly critiquing just about every government and organized religion that's ever existed." – Madeleine Crum, HuffPost
(credit:Amazon)

(45 of46)

Something Fresh P.G. Wodehouse

"If you're looking for antics, absurdity, and lots of heart, Something Fresh is the perfect read. Wodehouse's comic novels operate in a sunny, prewar universe peopled by British minor gentry, where dimwitted earl's nephews occupy themselves by falling in love with cocktail waitresses and enterprising outsiders engage in mad capers to make their fortunes. Something Fresh introduces Blandings Castle (and its lovably buffoonish residents), which is the backdrop for several heartwarming if unlikely romances, a scarab-based adventure, and, most importantly, nonstop hilarity." – Claire Fallon, HuffPost (credit:Amazon)

(46 of46)

Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling

"Yup. Mindy. Again. You know why? Because she is really, truly funny. Mindy's second book, which came out just this fall, is a real treat for fans of her uniquely brilliant sensibility as well as her Hulu show, 'The Mindy Project.' Somewhat more mature than 'Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?', 'Why Not Me?' is not only laugh in bed and look crazy funny, it's smart and relatable and very honest, tackling sexism, diversity and confidence. It would seem as if Mindy now knows she's a role model for so many girls, teens and women, and is using her platform and popularity to make a bit of a difference." – Liat Kornowski, HuffPost (credit:Amazon)

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