Written by Jen Simon for Kveller.com
It took me a long time to admit it, but I'm the person everyone has been talking about. I'm the person who uses Facebook as a world-wide picture sharing site, a 21st century baby brag book. It's me; I've "ruined" Facebook for the cool kids.
I wasn't always this type of person. In fact, before I turned into me, I used to hate people like me. You know the people I'm talking about: the kind of people who post funny things their kids say (or things they think are funny), share anecdotes from playdates or statistics from doctors' visits; the kind of people who (gasp) use their kids as their profile picture. You're not your child, I would silently fume as I would see yet another one of my friends fall victim to the rampant child-picture-appropriation on Facebook. Your child is not your identity! Your role as a parent doesn't solely define you! I would swear that I would be different -- I would still be ME (as signified by the oh-so-telling Facebook profile picture). And yet, as soon as my baby was born and was big enough to wear a hat with ears -- bam, he was my profile picture. I mean, come on, how could I resist? He was wearing a hat. With ears!
So how, after consciously trying not to, did I turn into this person?
When you have a child, it's hard not to let your new identity as a mother take over your previous identity as a person. But as a stay-at-home mom, it's even harder to maintain a persona and life of your own. Not only is being a mother who you are, it's what you do. All day, every day. This is not to deride mothers who work outside the home at all. AT ALL. But when you leave your kids and shake off mommy mantle, even if it's just for a few hours, you maintain a separate part of yourself. As a stay-at-home mom, I am immersed in motherhood with very little escape.
I don't have co-workers. I don't have a boss (except for my 4-year-old -- ugh, I hate myself for making that joke). I don't have challenges and assignments and goals and meetings. What I have are playdates and art projects and books and park visits. So I document them. And I share.
Am I worried about privacy? Of course I am. I know pictures last forever online. I know privacy settings mean nothing. So I make sure not to share anything inappropriate, like naked pictures or penis stories (and like most mothers of boys, I have some hilarious ones). I don't post our address, tag us where we are while we're there or write about a vacation until after we're home.
If I'm worried about privacy, why do I bother sharing? I share my pictures because, like every mother on the planet, I think my kids are adorable (no, but really mine *are* adorable). I share because, as pathetic as this sounds, the attention is validation of sorts. I can't get A's anymore -- and forget about being recognized for my achievements (like getting my son to pee before leaving the house -- why is this so hard?!) So what do I have? "Likes" and comments about how cute my kids are.
I share because my pictures tell stories about our daily lives and our adventures. I share because my pictures create a dialogue with other people. My friends and family live all over the country; I love seeing pictures of my nephews and of friends' kids since I rarely get to see them in person. The pictures allow me to watch them grow up, even if it's only online.
And perhaps the biggest answer is that I share pictures of my kids because spending time with them is what I'm doing with my life. When I was in my 20s, I went out a lot, getting drunk and stupid with friends. If Facebook had been around then, those drunken, dancing, ridiculous party pictures are the ones that would litter my page. (Dear Lord and Mark Zuckerberg, I will forever be grateful that Facebook was not around when I was in my 20s). Now, instead of posting pictures from clubs, vacations and brunches, I post pictures from the playground, because that's where I am. It's not always the most exciting life, but it's my life and I'm happy to have a platform to share it.
Follow Kveller.com on Facebook and Twitter.
Studies About Kids And Technology
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "While longitudinal research does allow us to speak in terms of a 'causal' relationship, it is probably more accurate and useful to think about media violence as a 'risk factor' rather than a 'cause' of violence — one variable among many that increases the risk of violent behavior among some children." (credit:Alamy)
January 2013: Screen Time Not Linked To Kids' Physical Activity(03 of18)
Open Image ModalOpen Image ModalSource: FacebookGist: "We investigated anonymized and automatically processed posts and comments by people self-identified as parents and children to understand how conversation patterns with each other might be a bit different from those with their other friends." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: "Most parents of teenagers are concerned about what their teenage children do online and how their behavior could be monitored by others. Some parents are taking steps to observe, discuss, and check up on their children’s digital footprints." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's HealthGist: "In this Poll, nearly two out of three adults expressed strong support for proposed COPPA updates, including requiring apps designed for kids to confirm that users are at least 13 and prohibiting apps from collecting personal information from users under age 13." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Family Online Safety InstituteGist: "These surveys indicate that teens’ concerns about their online safety parallel parents’ concerns more closely than parents realize and that many teens are taking steps to protect their privacy and personal information. Nonetheless, teens suggest that parents are not as informed about what their teens do online as parents think they are, and some teens are taking risks by providing personal information to strangers online." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "America’s teachers -- whether they are long-time classroom veterans or young, tech-savvy ones, at wealthy schools or low-income schools, public or private, elementary or high school -- surface relatively consistent concerns: Students are having issues with their attention span, writing, and face-to-face communication, and, in the experience of teachers, children’s media use is contributing to the problem. On the plus side, teachers find that young people’s facility with media is helping them find information quickly and multitask more effectively." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "Three out of four teens have social networking sites, and half of all teens are on their sites on a daily basis. But despite our concerns about social media, in the vast majority of cases, these media do not appear to be causing great tumult in teenagers’ lives." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: “The volume of texting among teens has risen from 50 texts a day in 2009 to 60 texts for the median teen text user. The frequency of teens' phone chatter with friends - on cell phones and landlines - has fallen. But the heaviest texters are also the heaviest talkers with their friends.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: "There was no evidence that children receiving the active video games were more active in general, or at anytime, than children receiving the inactive video games." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: “This updated policy statement provides further evidence that media—both foreground and background—have potentially negative effects and no known positive effects for children younger than 2 years. Thus, the AAP reaffirms its recommendation to discourage media use in this age group. This statement also discourages the use of background television intended for adults when a young child is in the room.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "Nine-month-olds spend nearly an hour a day watching television or DVDs, 5-year-olds are begging to play with their parents’ iPhones, and 7-year-olds are sitting down in front of a computer several times a week to play games, do homework, or check out how their avatars are doing in their favorite virtual worlds. Television is still as popular as ever, but reading may be beginning to trend downward. Having an accurate understanding of the role of media in children’s lives is essential for all of those concerned about promoting healthy child development: parents, educators, pediatricians, public health advocates, and policymakers, to name just a few." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: The Huffington PostGist: “[E]xperts have some serious concerns regarding the methods and conclusions of the first study evaluating the connection between cell phone radiation and brain cancer in children and teens. Not only was the study flawed, they note, but it was also financially supported by the cell phone industry.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: “This study found that greater television and computer use was related to greater psychological difficulties, independent of gender, age, level of deprivation, pubertal status, and objectively measured physical activity andsedentary time.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: "Viewing television and playing video games each are associated with increased subsequent attention problems in childhood. It seems that a similar association among television, video games, and attention problems exists in late adolescence and early adulthood." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: “Fully two-thirds of teen texters say they are more likely to use their cell phones to text their friends than talk to them to them by cell phone.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Kaiser Family FoundationGist: “Today, 8-18 year-olds devote an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes (7:38) to using entertainment media across a typical day (more than 53 hours a week). And because they spend so much of that time ‘media multitasking’ (using more than one medium at a time), they actually manage to pack a total of 10 hours and 45 minutes (10:45) worth of media content into those 7½ hours.” (credit:Shutterstock)
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.