The great economic booms of the modern era-- housing in the 2000s, technology in the 1990s, savings & loans in the 80s--have one thing common: "Bubbles." Irrational speculation and massive overreaching that enriches everyone who matters.
Many economists believe we need another bubble to escape the current slowdown. One believer is David Schwarzstein, an un-indicted accountant from Arthur Andersen. He created the popular, low risk, high return General Uncertainty Margins, or GUMs, designed to re-inflate the economy.
"Which industry will create the next 5 year ride of imaginary wealth?" Schwarzstein asked from the cabin of his Tankmousine. "Oil or autos, airplanes, entertainment, corn, solar, celebrity fashion? No one knows, but this came to me on Turks & Caicos everyone's speculating. 'Speculating' about the 'speculative' market. Speculation about speculation is still speculation, isn't it?"
Turns out, yes it isn't. Thus the bubble-bubble concept: Speculation in speculation. Schwartzstein partnered with Citibank, DeutscheBank, and Morgan Stanley to create GUMs. They work as follows:
- Institutional investors buy a minimum10 million "bet" that one of 25 pre-selected industries will produce the next bubble. "They only put down 0.1%," according to a Citibank's spokesman. "So their stake is an incredible 99.9% leveraged!"
Are GUMs SEC and FTC approved? Schwartzman insists that they probably are. "But that's doesn't matter," added a Morgan Stanley economist. "What matters is that GUMs are win-win, so there's time to lose. Buy shares right now."
If everyone invests without wasteful research, these bubble-bubble GUMs will rejuvenate the economy and Wall Street will, once again, have done what it does best: Put America on its back and carry it to glory, skimming a healthy profit along the way.
For more go to My Wall Street Journal.
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