21 Things I Learned Being a Stay-at-Home Dad

If you were just thinking that what this Father's Day really needs is an Internet post full of life lessons from a stay-at-home dad who wrote a book (that won a literary parenting award), boy, did you click on the right link. If that's not what you were thinking, I'd read this anyway because not only do I say vagina about halfway down the page, but also there's some meaningful stuff on this list. Let's face it, who would you rather take advice from, an award-winning author who says "vagina" or those stuffy expert types? Happy Father's Day!

21 Things I Learned Being a Stay At Home Dad for the Last 14 Years.

Plainly, sorting the laundry, folding the laundry and putting away the laundry is the scourge of my existence.

I'd always wanted to have children, but I was unprepared for how the news that I would soon be a father would affect me. I immediately began to imagine all the things that I would need to do and instantly felt the pressure of another person's life depending on me.

Putting a baby in your wife's belly gets you an invitation to her OB/GYN appointments.

I don't know how to best say this, so I'm just going to blurt it out. If you have never seen, or had, a pelvic exam, let me tell you something -- it's not how you imagine it.

When your wife (or really any woman) asks for your opinion about baby accessories, she is just being polite. I may be overgeneralizing, but they don't care, even a little bit, what you think. And, to be honest, it's probably better that way.

I didn't initially expect that I would become more emotional than I already was, but this job will change you.

Don't eat Doritos before you coach your wife through childbirth and definitely don't forget to have your mother leave the room when the baby arrives... my wife is still annoyed that my mom saw her vagina.

Once you've feel it, you'll never forget how warm and thick baby vomit is.

You can drop a baby without hurting them -- if you get a lucky bounce.

Everyone should watch a lion eat with a 2-year-old.

Dangerous elements aside, don't try and control which experiences get to be part of the recipe that creates who your children will be one day.

Endless decisions are made and carried out by our moms in homes all around the world. Each step holds the hope of survival, growth and prosperity, but as important and plentiful as these women and their work are, it goes unseen by most.

You can't bank sleep, so enjoy it when you can.

There is no such thing as gender specific tasks.

When my children become adults and find themselves reflecting on our time together, I want the feeling to endure more than the words themselves. Like the difference between being told that you are loved and the feeling of being hugged by a person who loves you. I want them to feel my hug wrapping around them... always.

Most guys wish that they had a closer relationship with their fathers. Break that cycle.

Life really is about the pauses in between the moments.

Being told that your child will require an infusion of man-made insulin multiple times throughout the day and night to stay alive is devastating.

Don't stop and don't give up.

I was estranged from my father for most of my life and only reconnected with him in his last few years... I wish we had found each other again much sooner.

If you open your heart, your family will fill it with a glorious feeling that transcends description.

Support HuffPost

At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.

Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.

Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.

Support HuffPost

parenting advice father's day parents-dads Parents stay at home dads

Support HuffPost

Related

From Our Partner

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

The Best Durable Shoes, According To Zookeepers Who Work In Mud All Day

The Most Comfortable Sandals For Walking All Day, According To Tour Guides Who Live In Them

This $4 Cat Toy Is 'Worth Its Weight In Gold' — And Behaviorists Say There's A Reason

This Seemingly Silly Luxury Is Actually Important For Your Pet's Health

13 Shoes Reviewers Say Are ‘Super Comfortable’ For Bunions

MORE IN LIFE

A Shockingly Low Percentage Of People Tip Rideshare Drivers — Here’s The Awful Truth

Hate Going To The Dry Cleaner? Here’s When You Can Cheat — And When You Shouldn’t

If Detroit Isn’t On Your Travel Bucket List, It’s Time To Reconsider

These Are HuffPost Readers’ All-Time Favorite Walking Shoes For Men And Women

19 Hidden Gems On Amazon That Reviewers Have Called ‘Effective’

Just 14 Items Under $20 We Loved This Month, In Case You Need A Little Treat

46 Products To Subtly But Genuinely Elevate Your Life

13 Comfy Shorts That Will Save Your Thighs From The Dreaded Summer Chafing

5 Delicious Reasons You Shouldn't Miss Out On Salvadoran Food

Don't Miss The 10 Best Instagram Recipes From April

This Shocking True Crime Series Is A Top Show On Netflix Right Now

Brita's Popular Filtering Water Bottle Is Just $14 Right Now

This $4 Cat Toy Is 'Worth Its Weight In Gold' — And Behaviorists Say There's A Reason

My Holy Grail Skin-Perfecting Cream Is On Rare Sale Right Now

19 Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts From Amazon That Will Arrive On Time

9 Stylish Swim Trunks, According To The Best-Dressed Guys We Know

27 Products From Amazon’s 'Internet Famous' Section That Are Actually Worth The Hype

Forget 10,000 Steps A Day — This Is The Number You Should Focus On Instead

8 Extremely Popular Emotional Support Water Bottles To Keep You Hydrated

34 Pieces So Cute That People Might Get A Bit Obsessed With You

11 Of Amazon's Bestselling Kitchen Tools For Under $30

Massage Therapists Reveal What They Think When You Fall Asleep, Pass Gas Or Worse

8 Popular Cooking Tools That Chefs Say Are A Waste Of Money

The 1 Thing Sleep Doctors Never, Ever Do In The Morning

If You’re In Your 30s, Here Are 32 Comfy But Elevated Pieces You Might Fall In Love With

35 Things To Improve The Appearance Of Your Kitchen Without A Renovation

8 Genius Laundry Products To Make Wash Day Less Dreadful

This Is The Bedding That Amazon Shoppers Are Obsessed With

These 11 Hardworking Beauty Products Are Some Of Amazon's Bestsellers Right Now

Eliminating These 3 Foods From Your Diet Can Be A Game-Changer For Heart Health

Yes, Your Lips Age, Too. Makeup Artists Reveal The Tricks To Wearing Lipstick After 50

I'm A Colorectal Cancer Doctor. Here Are 5 Things I'd Never Do.

If You Feel Like You Spend Practically All Day In Your Car, You Might Want To Try One Of These 34 Products

This Cult-Fave Countertop Ice Maker Churns Out Sonic-Style Nugget Ice — And It's $150 Off

The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

This Hair Trimmer That Significantly Reduced My Shaving Time Is On Sale At Amazon Right Now

24 Spring Things Under $20 You’ll Probably Want To Add To Your Amazon Cart

Reviewers Say These Are The Best Eyeliners That Glide Onto Mature Skin

What's The Deal With The 'Fake Botox' That's Making Everyone Sick?

These Are The Sunscreens Men Tolerate — And Even Better, Actually Like