How Could Anyone Hurt A Baby? You Know How

When the crying goes on so long that you will do anything to make it stop. When you are too young to have had this baby, and too alone to handle the responsibility. When the stress of life breaks you so that you literally break someone else.
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Child abuse is on the rise, the journal Pediatrics tells us this week. Hospitalizations for serious injury to children at the hands of adults -- fractures, brain trauma -- increased 5 percent between 1997 and 2009, while hospitalizations of the youngest and most vulnerable, those less than a year old, increased at twice that rate.

How could anyone hurt a baby?

You know how they can.

When the crying goes on so long that you will do anything to make it stop. When you are too young to have had this baby, and too alone to handle the responsibility. When the stress of life breaks you so that you literally break someone else. When you need help with demons of alcohol, or drugs, or mental illness, and there is no help to be found. When there isn't enough money to meet the needs of yet one more.

My older son had colic. He cried endlessly and I cried along with him. Exhausted does not begin to describe how I felt, and late one night -- or was it early one morning -- he wailed for hours while I tried absolutely everything to get him to sleep. I sang, I rocked, I paced, I begged. Then there was a moment when I started to shake him. I started, but I didn't finish. Instead I put him in his crib and walked away.

I stopped because I had a college education and I knew the damage one shake could do to a newborn brain. Because I had a husband asleep down the hall who I could wake and tell I couldn't take it anymore. Because I had the money to hire someone to stay with my baby during the day so I could take a nap. Because I was not in the grip of addiction, as so many abusers are. Because I had the insurance to ask my doctor for help with what I had come to see was more than just postpartum blues, which many abusers do not.

The Pediatrics report doesn't speculate about the reason for this 10.9 percent jump in hospitalization for the youngest victims. It focuses instead on the fact that when you measure abuse by hospital records the numbers are higher than when you measure by cases reported by social workers.

Still, we can guess some of the reasons. Those social workers are a place to start as their caseloads have increased while staffing has decreased. Economic stress is another known trigger, along with addiction and mental illness. All those have jumped in recent years, as the economy has faltered and resources for health care have declined.

10.9 percent. It's a number buried in a study, but one that translates into 3.3 million reported cases a year. A number that hints at the black mix of rage, desperation and despair I felt, and the fine line between me and danger. A number that measures what any of us could do, if not for buffers so many of us don't have.

As Dr. James Anderst, chief of the section on child abuse and neglect at Children's Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City, Mo., told NBC News, we can reverse this number "the same way we get people to quit smoking. It is the same way we get people to wear seat belts. It is a combination of laws, and enforcement of those laws and also supporting people so they can be better parents."

ALSO ON HUFFPOST PARENTS

The Most And Least Affordable States For Child Care
1. New York(01 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $14,009State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $25,852State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $88,189 (credit:Alamy)
2. Minnesota(02 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $13,579State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $26,123State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $87,271 (credit:Alamy)
3. Oregon(03 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $11,079State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $22,250State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $72,166 (credit:Alamy)
4. Colorado(04 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $12,621State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $26,366State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $83,063 (credit:Alamy)
5. Hawaii(05 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $12,876State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $29,466State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $87,430 (credit:Alamy)
6. Kansas(06 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $11,023State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $23,446State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $75,086 (credit:Alamy)
7. California(07 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $11,823State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $27,534State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $80,796 (credit:Alamy)
8. Illinois(08 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $12,199State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $24,833State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $84,779 (credit:Alamy)
9. Massachusetts(09 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $14,980State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $27,922State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $105,537 (credit:Alamy)
10. Indiana(10 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,880State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $22,178State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $73,270 (credit:Alamy)
10. Wisconsin(11 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $10,775State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $23,568State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $79,589 (credit:Alamy)
12. Michigan(12 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $10,114State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $21, 385State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family:$76,712 (credit:Alamy)
12. Washington(13 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $10,920State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $25,731State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $82,870 (credit:Alamy)
14. Rhode Island(14 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $11,830State Median Income for Single Mother family: $25,607State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $91,065 (credit:Alamy)
15. New Hampshire(15 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $11,995State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $28,756State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $92,823 (credit:Alamy)
16. Maine(16 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,256State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $21,940State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $72,196 (credit:Alamy)
16. Nevada(17 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,413State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $29, 245State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $73,563 (credit:Alamy)
16. North Carolina(18 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,185State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $21,344State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $72,022 (credit:Alamy)
16. Pennsylvania(19 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $10,504Single Median Income for Single Mother Family: $23,472State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $82,141 (credit:Alamy)
20. Arizona(20 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $8,946Single Median Income or Single Mother Family: $25,682State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $70,563 (credit:Alamy)
21. Vermont(21 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,612State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $25,336State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $76,965 (credit:Alamy)
22. Montana(22 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $8,307State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $20,333State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $68,574 (credit:Alamy)
23. Connecticut(23 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $12,844State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $30,795State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $106,847 (credit:Alamy)
23. Maryland(24 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $12,878State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $36,580State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $107,756 (credit:Alamy)
25. Iowa(25 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $ 8,859State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $22,809State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $75,581 (credit:Alamy)
25. Texas(26 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $8,323State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $22,705State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $71,308 (credit:Alamy)
27. Missouri(27 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $8,580State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $21,748State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $73,880 (credit:Alamy)
27. Virginia(28 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $10,670State Median income for Single Mother Family: $28,965State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $92,212 (credit:Alamy)
29. Tennessee(29 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,748State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $20,254State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $68,223 (credit:Alamy)
30. Florida(30 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $8,009State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $25,286State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $71,051 (credit:Alamy)
30. Utah(31 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,848State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $27,626State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $69,638 (credit:Alamy)
32. Oklahoma(32 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,288State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $20,272State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $65,458 (credit:Alamy)
33. West Virginia(33 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $6,932State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $16,921State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $62,854 (credit:Alamy)
34. Delaware(34 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,620State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $30,675State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $88,825 (credit:Alamy)
35. New Mexico(35 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $6,843State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $21,742State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $64,842 (credit:Alamy)
36. Alaska(36 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $9,336State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $31,134State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $89,794 (credit:Alamy)
37. New Jersey(37 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $11,135State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $30,732State Median Income for a Two-Parent family: $107,663 (credit:<a target="_blank" href="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1979_New_Jersey.jpg" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="MediaWiki:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5b9c5d66e4b03a1dcc7e1cb6" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1979_New_Jersey.jpg" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="4">MediaWiki:</a><a target="_blank" href="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Holland%20with%20Boston" role="link" rel="nofollow" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Holland with Boston" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5b9c5d66e4b03a1dcc7e1cb6" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Holland%20with%20Boston" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="5">Holland with Boston</a>)
37. Wyoming(38 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,727State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $25,824State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $75,169 (credit:Alamy)
39. Nebraska(39 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,639State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $23,601State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $74,787 (credit:Alamy)
39. Ohio(40 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,889State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $20,765State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $77,032 (credit:Alamy)
41. North Dakota(41 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,705State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $21,545State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $77,544 (credit:Alamy)
42. Kentucky(42 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $6,594State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $18,735State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $67,998 (credit:Alamy)
43. Georgia(43 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $7,030State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $23,602State Income for a Two-Parent Family: $74,939 (credit:Alamy)
43. Idaho(44 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $5,834State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $22,486State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $62,051 (credit:Alamy)
45. Arkansas(45 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $5,437State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $18,683State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $62,035 (credit:Alamy)
46. South Carolina(46 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $5,855State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $20,769State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $71,480 (credit:Alamy)
46. South Dakota(47 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $5,947State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $22,989State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $72,264 (credit:Alamy)
48. Louisiana(48 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $5,901State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $19,853State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $77,089 (credit:Alamy)
49. Alabama(49 of50)
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Average Annual Cost of Infant Care: $5,356State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $19,492State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $70,657 (credit:Alamy)
50. Mississippi(50 of50)
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Average Annual cost of Infant Care: $4,591State Median Income for Single Mother Family: $17,796State Median Income for a Two-Parent Family: $65,668 (credit:Alamy)

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