Valentine's Day: The sweetest and most romantic holiday of the year that also happens to provide the most fodder for comedy. Comedians have a way of taking down the over-commercialization, sappiness and depression that comes with the day of love like no one else can. Here are some of our favorite interpretations of the holiday by comedians such as Jon Stewart, Greg Giraldo, Mike Birbiglia, Lewis Black and more. Vote for your favorite!
10 Funny Valentine's Day Quotes By Comedians
Lewis Black(01 of10)
"Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone."-Lewis Black
Greg Giraldo(02 of10)
"Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!"-Greg Giraldo
Jay Leno(03 of10)
"Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day." -Jay Leno
Russ Meneve(04 of10)
"Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!'"-Russ Meneve
Mo Rocca(05 of10)
"I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day."-Mo Rocca
Laura Kightlinger(06 of10)
"It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'" -Laura Kightlinger
Doug Mellard(07 of10)
"Let me tell you why I hate Valentine's day: Because a few years ago on Valentine's night I thought I would have nice romantic evening in with the lady. Little did I know, that same night, her ex boyfriend decided he would win her heart back. And being the sweet, romantic guy that he is, he thought the best way to do this was to get all coked up and then jump through a window and TRY TO MURDER ME... You know what, it worked. They're still together."-Doug Mellard
Jon Stewart(08 of10)
"Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything."-Jon Stewart
Mike Birbiglia's Childhood Valentines(09 of10)
"I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!"-Mike Birbiglia
David Letterman(10 of10)
Valentine's Day money-saving tips:
Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
In place of bubble bath, use lavender-scented dish-washing liquid.
Forget rose petals. Sprinkle the bed with sliced beets!
-David Letterman
Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
In place of bubble bath, use lavender-scented dish-washing liquid.
Forget rose petals. Sprinkle the bed with sliced beets!
-David Letterman