What do an $8,000 water slide, $700 roller skates and a $100,000 "Free Willy" submarine have in common? Aside from being items that'll probably show up on Rich Kids Of Instagram, they're perfect toys for adults in the coveted "one percent."
Ranging from the outrageously priced to the ridiculously extravagant, these totally unnecessary leisure products are way out of most working peoples' price ranges. Sure, we may never be able to afford half of the "luxury" items in Hammacher Schlemmer or The Sharper Image (didn't they go out of business, anyway?) but that doesn't mean we can't make fun of them.
Below, check out the 21 most ridiculous toys for adults in the one percent and vote for the funniest ones. Who knows? One day you might be the one driving a $13,000 motorized monocycle down the street (but be careful -- there's no way that thing's street legal).
Toys For Rich People
Inflatable Walk On Water Mat: $999.95(01 of21)
Just another reminder that if you're rich, you can literally play God. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12118&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer " data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12118&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="22" data-vars-position-in-unit="26">Hammacher Schlemmer </a>)
Human Bowling Ball: $4,500(02 of21)
If they remade "Billy Madison" in 2012, we could definitely see this in his backyard. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/12120?PID=3349309&source=cj" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/12120?PID=3349309&source=cj" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="21" data-vars-position-in-unit="25">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
The Killer Whale Submarine: $100,000(03 of21)
A two-person watercraft that "breaches and submerges just like the Orcinus orca after which it is designed," according to the description. In other words: "midlife crisis." (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11990&promo=Sports-Leisure-New-Arrivals&catid=1734" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11990&promo=Sports-Leisure-New-Arrivals&catid=1734" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="20" data-vars-position-in-unit="24">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Inflatable Obstacle Course: $12,500(04 of21)
Perfect training for the inflatable military. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12121&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12121&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="19" data-vars-position-in-unit="23">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
The Floating Rope Swing: $3,800(05 of21)
Who needs a tree with a sturdy branch when you can have this floating island of fun? (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12129&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=12129&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="18" data-vars-position-in-unit="22">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
The Flying Hovercraft: $190,000(06 of21)
You could send a few kids to college, go on about 50 tropical vacations or, you know, buy this for $200 grand. Your call. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11933&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11933&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="17" data-vars-position-in-unit="21">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Electric Skates: $699.99(07 of21)
How about this $700 concussion waiting to happen? (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/12158" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/12158" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="16" data-vars-position-in-unit="20">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Stock Car Racing Simulator: $60,000(08 of21)
We see your race car bed and raise you THIS. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11947&promo=Toys-Games-Arcade-Rec-Room&catid=248" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11947&promo=Toys-Games-Arcade-Rec-Room&catid=248" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="15" data-vars-position-in-unit="19">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Personalized Whac-A-Mole Game: $35,000(09 of21)
The fact that there's a box next to the price of this item that asks, "How Many?" may be the funniest thing about it. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11258&promo=Toys-Games-Arcade-Rec-Room&catid=248" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer " data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11258&promo=Toys-Games-Arcade-Rec-Room&catid=248" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="14" data-vars-position-in-unit="18">Hammacher Schlemmer </a>)
Classic Snow Cone Cart: $4,000(10 of21)
This thing produces "up to 500 lbs. of finely granulated ice per hour." We'll just let that sink in. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11917&promo=Toys-Games-Outdoor-Play&catid=252" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11917&promo=Toys-Games-Outdoor-Play&catid=252" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="12" data-vars-position-in-unit="16">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Inflatable Water Park: $7,999.99(11 of21)
We love how the description of this item starts, "Move over, old-school floating platforms," as if anyone doesn't think those are still awesome. (credit:<a href="http://www.sharperimage.com/si/view/product/Inflatable-Water-Park/200800?cm_mmc=ymal-_-200800-_-null-_-null" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Sharper Image" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.sharperimage.com/si/view/product/Inflatable-Water-Park/200800?cm_mmc=ymal-_-200800-_-null-_-null" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="11" data-vars-position-in-unit="15">Sharper Image</a>)
Barbecue Dining Boat: $50,000(12 of21)
Smug expression not included. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/11985" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/11985" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="9" data-vars-position-in-unit="13">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
iPod Jukebox: $1,495.99(13 of21)
Makes that alarm clock dock grandma got you for Christmas look like crap. (credit:<a href="http://www.sharperimage.com/si/view/product/iPod-Jukebox/200237?trail=" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Sharper Image" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.sharperimage.com/si/view/product/iPod-Jukebox/200237?trail=" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="8" data-vars-position-in-unit="12">Sharper Image</a>)
Motorized Monocycle: $13,000(14 of21)
If you've ever seen a hamster in a hamster ball and thought, "Why not me?" Now is your chance. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11102&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11102&promo=Category-NewArrivals&catid=60" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="7" data-vars-position-in-unit="11">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Personalized Backyard Ice Rink: $699.99(15 of21)
Wayne and Garth could have NEVER afforded this. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=81814&promo=Sports-Leisure-Sports&catid=229" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=81814&promo=Sports-Leisure-Sports&catid=229" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="6" data-vars-position-in-unit="10">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Mustang Pool Table: $9,995(16 of21)
This is a great way to remind yourself of your wealth while you're playing pool in your custom game room... in your house. (credit:<a href="http://www.brookstone.com/1965-mustang-pool-table?bkiid=World_Landing_Page_Games___Toys_Game_Room|CategoryWidget|801501p&catId=L2_GameRoom|L1_Games" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Brookstone" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.brookstone.com/1965-mustang-pool-table?bkiid=World_Landing_Page_Games___Toys_Game_Room|CategoryWidget|801501p&catId=L2_GameRoom|L1_Games" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="5" data-vars-position-in-unit="9">Brookstone</a>)
Pac-Man Cocktail Table: $3,500(17 of21)
There's no way this thing takes quarters. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11802&promo=Toys-Games-Arcade-Rec-Room&catid=248" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11802&promo=Toys-Games-Arcade-Rec-Room&catid=248" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="4" data-vars-position-in-unit="8">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
The Light Cycle: $50,000(18 of21)
It's a street-legal motorcycle but only designed for "casual cruising and slow ride-bys." So, dream on "Tron" nerds. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11862&promo=The-Unexpected&catid=1746" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11862&promo=The-Unexpected&catid=1746" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="3" data-vars-position-in-unit="7">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Large Chess Pieces: $599.99(19 of21)
In five minutes those kids are going to turn those chess pieces into over-priced whiffle ball bats. (credit:<a href="http://www.brookstone.com/large-chess-pieces?bkiid=World_Landing_Page_Games___Toys_Yard_Games|CategoryWidget|739120p&catId=L2_YardGames|L1_Games" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Brookstone" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.brookstone.com/large-chess-pieces?bkiid=World_Landing_Page_Games___Toys_Yard_Games|CategoryWidget|739120p&catId=L2_YardGames|L1_Games" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="2" data-vars-position-in-unit="6">Brookstone</a>)
The Skier-Controlled Tow Boat: $17,000(20 of21)
For when you have all the money in the world but no friends to drive your speed boat. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11838&promo=The-Unexpected&catid=1746" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11838&promo=The-Unexpected&catid=1746" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="5">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
Continuous Practice Golf Course: $799.95(21 of21)
No matter how continuous this golf course is, it's still probably a bad idea to put it in front of a glass window. (credit:<a href="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11749&promo=Sports-Leisure-Sports&catid=229" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Hammacher Schlemmer" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad0319e4b04234e855bd7b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11749&promo=Sports-Leisure-Sports&catid=229" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="4">Hammacher Schlemmer</a>)
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