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15 Signs You're Ted Zarillo Of Naperville, Illinois (PHOTOS)

15 Signs You're Ted Zarillo Of Naperville, Illinois
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Are you Ted Zarillo of Naperville, Illinois? If you find yourself relating to this stuff, then you probably are.

1. You live at 335 Gleason Drive.

2. Your parents are Leslie and Bill Zarillo.

3. You wear a size 10.5 shoe.

5. You drive a white 1997 Toyota Corolla.

6. Your social security number is 315-05-814x

7. You have a birthmark shaped like a fishhook on your inner thigh.

8. You currently have $454.28 in your checking account.

9. You hate onions.

10. You peed your pants on the third grade class field trip, which is something you never told anyone.

11. Jenny Hartworth rejected your invitation to the seventh grade winter dance, which is also something you never told anyone.

12. You wear the same dumb shirt almost every day.

13. You've developed a growing dissatisfaction with your highly mediocre life.

14. You suspect your wife is cheating on you.

15. You command little to no respect from everyone you meet.

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Before You Go

Ironic "Speak English" Signs
Pot Calling The Kettle Stupid?(01 of10)
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We're pretty sure that you're the one who's abusing the privilege, but we don't expect you to understand. (credit:<a href="http://cheezburger.com/6443475456" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Fail Blog" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://cheezburger.com/6443475456" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="11" data-vars-position-in-unit="11">Fail Blog</a>)
"Your In America"(02 of10)
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No matter how you feel about the Yankees, this person is the worst. (credit:(<a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/x1plk/saw_this_in_a_parking_lot_the_irony_almost_hurts/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Image via Reddit" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/x1plk/saw_this_in_a_parking_lot_the_irony_almost_hurts/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="10" data-vars-position-in-unit="10">Image via Reddit</a>))
Casa D'Irony(03 of10)
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Speak English (unless your bar name just sounds better in Spanish). (credit:<a href="http://www.casadice.com/signs/pages/outside_sign087.htm" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Casa D&#x27;Ice" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.casadice.com/signs/pages/outside_sign087.htm" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="9" data-vars-position-in-unit="9">Casa D'Ice</a>)
"No Excetions"(04 of10)
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Well, there is at least one exception. (credit:(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4468906425/sizes/o/in/photostream/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Image via Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4468906425/sizes/o/in/photostream/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="7" data-vars-position-in-unit="7">Image via Flickr</a>/<a href="http://www.photobasement.com/english-do-you-speak-it/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="PhotoBasement" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.photobasement.com/english-do-you-speak-it/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="8" data-vars-position-in-unit="8">PhotoBasement</a>))
"America's Offical Language"(05 of10)
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Underlining the error only makes it more obvious. (credit:(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4468907309/sizes/o/in/photostream/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Image via Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4468907309/sizes/o/in/photostream/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="6" data-vars-position-in-unit="6">Image via Flickr</a>, Pargon))
"Respect Are-Country"(06 of10)
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My first grade cousin struggles with are/our too. (credit:(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4468908929/sizes/o/in/set-72157623594187379/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Image via Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4468908929/sizes/o/in/set-72157623594187379/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="5" data-vars-position-in-unit="5">Image via Flickr</a>, Pargon))
You're Vs. Your (With Bonus Comma Confusion)(07 of10)
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Maybe you'll at least learn how to speak Spanish correctly. (credit:<a href="http://silencedmajority.blogs.com/silenced_majority_portal/2007/07/index.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Silenced Majority" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://silencedmajority.blogs.com/silenced_majority_portal/2007/07/index.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="4" data-vars-position-in-unit="4">Silenced Majority</a>)
"Our Only Lanaguage"(08 of10)
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At least they spelled "our" right. (credit:(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4469684254/sizes/o/in/photostream/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Image via Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/4469684254/sizes/o/in/photostream/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="3" data-vars-position-in-unit="3">Image via Flickr</a>, Pargon))
Unnecessary Quotation Marks(09 of10)
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Speak English, but only sarcastically. (credit:<a href="http://colorlines.com/archives/2007/04/englishonly_bill_sponsor_accus_1.html" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Color Lines" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://colorlines.com/archives/2007/04/englishonly_bill_sponsor_accus_1.html" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="2" data-vars-position-in-unit="2">Color Lines</a>)
Honk For Spelling(10 of10)
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In her defense, the "s" in "amnesty" does kind of sneak up on you. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="0">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Pargon" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bad2753e4b04234e8574e35" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="1">Pargon</a>)
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