The Body Language Mistakes You're Probably Making

Think about this the next time you're in an important meeting: During an average 30-minute conversation, over 800 nonverbal signals are sent. That means while you're saying one thing, your body might be expressing another.
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By Dana Burke, Allure


(Photo: Michele Morosi/Style.com)

Think about this the next time you're in an important meeting: During an average 30-minute conversation, over 800 nonverbal signals are sent. That means while you're saying one thing, your body might be expressing another. In an effort to minimize future miscommunications, we asked body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards for the most common mistakes you don't realize you're making.

Rubbing your lips together. A fresh coat of balm usually calls for mashing your lips together. Just be aware that you may be sending a different message: secrecy. "A lip purse is what people typically do when they are trying to withhold or cover information," says Van Edwards. "We do this subconsciously as if our brain is telling our lips, 'Don't say anything! Keep them shut!' Try not to purse your lips when having an important conversation with a colleague, boss, or friend. It can make them think you are holding back."

Gazing over the rim of your glasses. "Whenever you peer over your glasses at someone--even if you don't mean it this way--it comes across as critical. In our research lab we nicknamed it the Judge Judy." Avoiding this unintentional nod is as simple as looking someone right in the eye. Or if you can do so without rendering the world a fuzzy blur, just take your glasses off or push them up onto your head for a snub-free convo.

Fiddling with your jewelry. You may not realize it, but playing with your earrings, necklaces, or bracelets sends a flirty vibe. The inside of the wrists, neck, and hair are pheromones zones, the parts of the body that trigger attraction. "This is OK on a date, but be very careful to not casually touch your jewelry in these areas around colleagues or friends."

Playing with your hair. Whether it's a nervous habit or a little casual zhuzhing, we're all guilty of touching our hair. Just be mindful about doing this midconversation: "Our eye naturally follows objects in motion. Every time you touch your hair, you distract the person you're speaking to," says Van Edwards. Worse still, that teasing, twirling, and flipping might come off as anxious behavior. "Hair touches--even if you aren't actually nervous--look like pacification gestures. When you touch your hair mindlessly or to get volume you are actually undermining your confidence." Hands off (and find a good volumizer so you're not as tempted to futz).

Also on HuffPost:

8 Ways To De-Stress In 1 Minute Or Less
Quick Body Scan(01 of08)
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To help quiet your mind and boost awareness of the sensations in your body, sit or lie down in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Start by drawing your attention to different parts of your physical body, and checking in with how they feel. You can begin at the feet and work your way up to the head, noticing and releasing any tension as you go. A thorough body scan meditation might last around 10 minutes, but you can quickly complete the exercise in a minute or less as a way to bring back your wandering mind to the physical present. (credit:alamy)
Email Meditation(02 of08)
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Email is one of the biggest Internet stressors, and when we're at our desks dealing with a pile of unread messages and a growing "follow-up" folder, it's easy to get a little anxious. In the book "Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life," Dr. Lillian Cheung and Zen master Thich Naht Hahn outline a brief email meditation to practice before you hit the "send" button. Click here for the full instructions. (credit:alamy)
Listen To Nature Sounds(03 of08)
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According to Dr. Kathleen Hall, stress expert and founder of the Mindful Living Network, nature sounds can do wonders to reduce stress. Hall recommends sitting quietly for one to three minutes and listening to the sounds of natural landscapes, like oceans, rainforests or brooks. "There are some great apps that have sounds of whales or birds or cats purring ... It immediately stops the production of stress hormones," Hall tells the Huffington Post. (credit:shutterstock)
Laugh(04 of08)
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Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, making time for a quick laugh -- whether it's by watching a silly animal video or reminding yourself of a funny joke -- can help bust you out of a stressful headspace. Laughter releases endorphins in the brain and relaxes the muscles, according to the Mayo Clinic. (credit:alamy)
Deep Breathing(05 of08)
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Breathly deeply in and out for just one minute can help to refresh your mind and reset your body. Harvard University research in the 1970s conducted by Dr. Herbert Benson found that short periods of meditation that focused on the breath had the power to alter the body's stress responses, activating the "relaxation response." Find a quiet place to sit for one minute, focusing on breathing deeply in and out and letting go of distracting thoughts. (credit:alamy)
Essential Oils (06 of08)
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The part of the brain that processes smells is located in close proximity to that which governs emotion and memory, so scent can be a powerful way to induce pleasant emotions and calm the mind. Essential oils can be particularly effective -- according to a 2008 study published in Holistic Nursing Practice, essential oils actually reduced stress perception in nurses working in intensive care unit settings. Try keeping ylang ylang, peppermint or lavender essential oils at your desk and applying a small amount on the skin when you start feeling stressed. (credit:Shutterstock)
Neck & Shoulder Massage(07 of08)
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Help soothe tense muscles in the neck and shoulders (also known as the "stress triangle") by giving yourself a brief massage. But make sure it's not a mindless massage while staring at the computer -- for the full de-stressing benefits, stop what you're doing and bring mindful awareness to the muscle tension you feel, as well as the release of that tension. (credit:Shutterstock)
Dance (08 of08)
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The free motion and stretching movements of dance can help to release tension from the body and lift your spirits. Exercise in any form can act as a stress reliever by pumping up endorphins, according to the Mayo Clinic, and dancing can be a particularly enjoyable way to blow off steam for many people. Put a favorite song on your headphones, step away from the computer, and let loose for a minute -- it's almost guaranteed to boost your mood. (credit:shutterstock)

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