College is an exciting, experimental time. For maybe the first moment in your life, you follow your own heart instead of the beat of the crowd. You try new things: You take an oceanography class, you make best friends in an a cappella group and you familiarize yourself with the wonderful, bizarre world of collegiate drinking.
It is here you discover that bottle openers are luxuries, not necessities, and that after-burn of cut-rate vodka can be tamed with a piece of sour candy.
Today we honor the imagination and moxie with which college drinking occurs. The following are actual drinks HuffPost Editors admitted to making in our past lives. We commend our own resourcefulness, talent and youthful wonder with which these cocktails were masterminded, and we pray to the Porcelain God that we shall never have to drink them again.
1
Coconut Rum + Pineapple Soda = Broke Coladas
Malibu
How to make it: Run down to your local bodega and purchase a 3-liter bottle of that dubious pineapple soda for just one dollar. Go back to your dorm, find a cup and mix the soda with the Malibu you've held on to for this exact occasion.
Bonus: Drink this in the winter time and, despite the mounds of snow outside, you'll feel like you're on spring break. Put those mini drink umbrellas you stole from that luau-themed sorority party to work and plop one in your cup. Tropical!
Bonus: Drink this in the winter time and, despite the mounds of snow outside, you'll feel like you're on spring break. Put those mini drink umbrellas you stole from that luau-themed sorority party to work and plop one in your cup. Tropical!
2
Vodka + Juicy Juice = Drunken Toddler
Nestle
How to make it: This is a great beverage for the homesick: It'll take you back to days of lunch boxes and foil-wrapped sandwiches. If you really want to be authentic, start with a juice box and sip about one third of the punch. Then, with a trusty funnel apparatus, carefully pour the vodka into the juice box. Place a finger over the punctured hole where the straw goes and shake gently. Put the straw back and enjoy!
3
Anything Alcoholic + Skittles = A Taste Of The Rainbow
Facebook/Skittles
How to make it: The vending machine is your forgotten friend. Always reliable when the dining hall is closed and you're out of chasers, remember the dispenser that seemingly always has Skittles in stock. Drop the fruity candy into a cup of clear liquor for a rainbow treat -- you could even separate them by color because that would be cute and fun.
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4
Andre
Andre-Champagne
How to make it: Know what's classy? A $5 bottle of champagne, taken to the face. Wear your nicest clothes and drink it straight from the bottle with your pinky up.
5
Liquor + Emergen-C = Two Birds, One Stone
Emergen-C
How to make it: Your roommate won't stop sneezing, but with this beverage, you can ward off the cold while simultaneously getting smashed. Grab one of the packets your mom sent in a care package and pour into your favorite (most readily available) spirit and toast to health.
6
Fruit Punch + Cheep Beer + Cheap Vodka + Cheap Rum + Cheap Gin + Cheap Champagne = The Force
andumetwo via Getty Images
How to make it: Find a very large bucket. Pour, mix, drink. Get creative. Feel the force. Be careful.
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7
Vodka + Crystal Light = Pank Drank
Amazon
How to make it: Nothing masks the venomous taste of cheap liquor better than an overly sweet, artificially flavored drink. Find a large pitcher or pot and dump in an entire bottle of vodka and an entire container of Crystal Light. Only the Pink Lemonade flavor qualifies as "Pank Drank," but if stores are out, you may purchase another type. Mix and add a splash of water if the sweetness is too much. Serve in cups or just gather round the pot and take turns with a ladle.
8
Gin + Orange Juice = Snoop Dogg
Paras Griffin via Getty Images
How to make it: Start by getting your mind on your money and your money on your mind. Next, acquire some OJ and get busy.
9
30 Rack Of Beer + $30 Dollars Worth Of Crab Rangoon = Freshman 30?
Eric Tadsen via Getty Images
How to make it: Buy a 30 rack of the cheapest beer available at the gas station. At the same time, place an order for delivery (straight to your dorm room) for $30 worth of crab rangoon. Race back to your dorm to beat the delivery guy and crack open a few cold (or, perhaps room temperature) ones and be patient. When your phone rings, well, you know what to do.
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10
Vodka + Gatorade = Drunken Athlete
Gatorade
How to make it: Quench your thirst for a rowdy night with this hydrating cocktail. You'll be teeming with electrolytes and a nice buzz. Start by pouring one-third of the Gatorade both in your mouth over your face to look like a champion. Then, fill the bottle with alcohol. Cap, shake and serve.
Bonus: Pour this in your camelback and hydrate on the go!
Bonus: Pour this in your camelback and hydrate on the go!
11
$10 Handle Of Vodka + Brita Filter = Better Vodka?
Amazon
How to make it: One HuffPost Editor claims that filtering cheap, toxic vodka two to three times in one of these helped to "tone down the taste." Surely, the concept is creative, but we have no empirical evidence to prove this labor-intensive strategy is actually successful.
12
Vodka + Chocolate Milk = White Russian Baby
Nesquik
How to make it: Pour equal parts chocolate milk and vodka into a stolen dining hall glass. Serve over ice if you've got it.
Bonus: Acquire a straw and blow a few bubbles between sips. Nostalgia!
Bonus: Acquire a straw and blow a few bubbles between sips. Nostalgia!
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