By Lynne Meredith Golodner
I admit it: I don't tell the world every dirty little detail of my life. And I'm not going to apologize for it.
Because even though we live in a social media, bare-all, snap-a-photo-after-every-moment kind of world, we still have the right -- and the responsibility -- to choose what we share about ourselves. Not everything is free reign for public consumption. So sue me if you don't believe the life I post about is all that.
Let's look at this two ways.
First, I don't care to share ingrown hairs or toenails, sob stories, fat days or depressing moments. Those are for me and my closest peeps. I don't want to show that face to the world. But It doesn't mean I'm a liar when I choose the happy moments and pretty pictures.
I believe that what we say is how our life unfolds. Put it out there so it can manifest. That might sound woo-woo to you, but I'm 100 percent in. If I complain that my life isn't measuring up, it simply won't.
But if I choose to look at the glass as half-full, then it remains that way and the clear, cool liquid is incredibly soothing going down.
Secondly, why is it important to the nay-sayers and non-believers whether what I post is my real story or not? Isn't that a healthy dose of projection? It's like we don't want the happy people we see on Facebook and Twitter to be truly happy. Like we don't trust someone who's smiling and seeing the good everywhere she looks.
That's about you. You want to feel better about your own failings by pointing out mine. And I'm not going to play the game. I won't apologize for my selective posting on Facebook and in my blog. That's the life I want to share, and it's the life I want to live.
When it snows eight inches on a cool November night, I love to see the sparkle on the laden tree branches the next morning and how the sunrise glints like crystals off the fresh quiet drifts. I'm not going to be the one complaining about the cold. I choose to live where I live, and I choose to celebrate the seasons.
My kid pictures are funny faces and fancy outfits, all of us hugging it up in some silly way. I don't record the moments when I'm yelling at them or they're yelling at me because I don't want to stay in those moments -- and I'm surely not inviting you into them.
We all know the ugly finds its way into every life. And we all have the right to kiss it goodbye quietly and quickly, without inviting commentary.
I've taken the funny foot pictures on a beach chaise with a crystalline view of the ocean beyond my perfectly painted toes. I don't take the picture, nor even consider sharing, the moments when my toenails are misshapen with chipping polish I can't be bothered to take off.
Things aren't always perfect in my world. Every single one of us shoulder the burdens and disappointments of a normal life. Public persona is different than the way we live every moment. My sacred inner self only comes out with people I trust, who will cherish my fragile heart rather than stomp on it.
I love the person I am in my Instagram pictures and my Facebook posts. That's my best face forward. I love the option to delete and edit, to think carefully about the person I share with the world.
No good will come from being snarky about the disproportion of good moments to reality on other people's posts. Life is beautiful because you believe it's beautiful, and the more you show the beauty the more you inhabit it.
I'm not going to apologize for being selective about what I share with the world. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.
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Studies About Kids And Technology
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "While longitudinal research does allow us to speak in terms of a 'causal' relationship, it is probably more accurate and useful to think about media violence as a 'risk factor' rather than a 'cause' of violence — one variable among many that increases the risk of violent behavior among some children." (credit:Alamy)
January 2013: Screen Time Not Linked To Kids' Physical Activity(03 of18)
Open Image ModalOpen Image ModalSource: FacebookGist: "We investigated anonymized and automatically processed posts and comments by people self-identified as parents and children to understand how conversation patterns with each other might be a bit different from those with their other friends." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: "Most parents of teenagers are concerned about what their teenage children do online and how their behavior could be monitored by others. Some parents are taking steps to observe, discuss, and check up on their children’s digital footprints." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's HealthGist: "In this Poll, nearly two out of three adults expressed strong support for proposed COPPA updates, including requiring apps designed for kids to confirm that users are at least 13 and prohibiting apps from collecting personal information from users under age 13." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Family Online Safety InstituteGist: "These surveys indicate that teens’ concerns about their online safety parallel parents’ concerns more closely than parents realize and that many teens are taking steps to protect their privacy and personal information. Nonetheless, teens suggest that parents are not as informed about what their teens do online as parents think they are, and some teens are taking risks by providing personal information to strangers online." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "America’s teachers -- whether they are long-time classroom veterans or young, tech-savvy ones, at wealthy schools or low-income schools, public or private, elementary or high school -- surface relatively consistent concerns: Students are having issues with their attention span, writing, and face-to-face communication, and, in the experience of teachers, children’s media use is contributing to the problem. On the plus side, teachers find that young people’s facility with media is helping them find information quickly and multitask more effectively." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "Three out of four teens have social networking sites, and half of all teens are on their sites on a daily basis. But despite our concerns about social media, in the vast majority of cases, these media do not appear to be causing great tumult in teenagers’ lives." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: “The volume of texting among teens has risen from 50 texts a day in 2009 to 60 texts for the median teen text user. The frequency of teens' phone chatter with friends - on cell phones and landlines - has fallen. But the heaviest texters are also the heaviest talkers with their friends.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: "There was no evidence that children receiving the active video games were more active in general, or at anytime, than children receiving the inactive video games." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: “This updated policy statement provides further evidence that media—both foreground and background—have potentially negative effects and no known positive effects for children younger than 2 years. Thus, the AAP reaffirms its recommendation to discourage media use in this age group. This statement also discourages the use of background television intended for adults when a young child is in the room.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Common Sense MediaGist: "Nine-month-olds spend nearly an hour a day watching television or DVDs, 5-year-olds are begging to play with their parents’ iPhones, and 7-year-olds are sitting down in front of a computer several times a week to play games, do homework, or check out how their avatars are doing in their favorite virtual worlds. Television is still as popular as ever, but reading may be beginning to trend downward. Having an accurate understanding of the role of media in children’s lives is essential for all of those concerned about promoting healthy child development: parents, educators, pediatricians, public health advocates, and policymakers, to name just a few." (credit:Shutterstock)
Open Image ModalSource: The Huffington PostGist: “[E]xperts have some serious concerns regarding the methods and conclusions of the first study evaluating the connection between cell phone radiation and brain cancer in children and teens. Not only was the study flawed, they note, but it was also financially supported by the cell phone industry.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: “This study found that greater television and computer use was related to greater psychological difficulties, independent of gender, age, level of deprivation, pubertal status, and objectively measured physical activity andsedentary time.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: PediatricsGist: "Viewing television and playing video games each are associated with increased subsequent attention problems in childhood. It seems that a similar association among television, video games, and attention problems exists in late adolescence and early adulthood." (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Pew Research CenterGist: “Fully two-thirds of teen texters say they are more likely to use their cell phones to text their friends than talk to them to them by cell phone.” (credit:Alamy)
Open Image ModalSource: Kaiser Family FoundationGist: “Today, 8-18 year-olds devote an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes (7:38) to using entertainment media across a typical day (more than 53 hours a week). And because they spend so much of that time ‘media multitasking’ (using more than one medium at a time), they actually manage to pack a total of 10 hours and 45 minutes (10:45) worth of media content into those 7½ hours.” (credit:Shutterstock)
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