The Golden Globes will be handed out this week and hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are getting prepared to make the audiences laugh (with the aid of alcohol).
The "Parks and Recreation" and "30 Rock" stars respectively offered some totally fake scoop during a conference call with reporters about what famous faces viewers can expect to see on stage, what they hope to achieve as hosts, who they're rooting for and booze ... lots of booze.
Is there anything planned with any of your co-stars and friends coming up on stage?
Tina: We have the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.
Amy: That's right and we're just gonna ask the cast of "Cheers" to come up there strangely. So far those are our two ideas.
Tina: We should really start working.
Will there be any insult comedy?
Tina: Because it's such a fun, kind of sloppy night, it's not really about the hosts. Our job is to keep things moving and to get the movie stars more liquored so hopefully someone's boob will fall out of their dress. That's our main role. I don't think of it as a place to change the face of comedy; [it's] more like hosting a party. The luckiest we could be would be to have something spontaneous happen on stage.
Amy: So we're trying to plan that.
Tina: We have a lot of spontaneous things planned.
Are you going to address the fact that you're the first women to host the Golden Globes?
Tina: Yes, thank god the reign of tyranny of two years of a male host has come to an end. We have watied too long to see this change ... I think Ricky's the only other host ever, right?
Amy: There's no one more bored by that premise or story or headline than us, so certainly we won't be talking about it.
Will your improv background come into play while hosting?
Tina: It does in the way that if a drunk person wanders on stage, we'll know how to handle it.
Amy: It's nice to know that I'm doing this show with Tina because if all else fails, we'll just make something up on the spot.
Are the Golden Globes really that big of a big drunk fest?
Tina: Some how, no matter what time you get there, you always just missed the food. I think it's a scam. I don't think they make any food. You get there and there's just booze on the table and a box of candy ... All the women haven't eaten for days so they have half a glass of wine and they're gone.
What do you have planned to do to get people to the Globes?
Amy: One of the people watching at home is going to win a million dollars if they laugh at just the right thing. Someone's going to knock on their door and hand them a check for one million dollars.
Tina: You have to be home and you have to have more than one television tuned into the Golden Globes.
Amy: We can give that away.
How did you both decide to host the Globes this year?
Tina: We just said, "This will be fun, right?"
Amy: We made sure we both wanted to do it and then we just took a really long nap 'til this interview.
Will you have costume changes?
Tina: I'm going to wear one costume from each of the nominated films, beginning with Django and ending with another character from Django.
Amy: All of my clothes are tear-away, no matter what I'm wearing.
Did you exchange any acceptance speech notes?
Tina: I know that I don't need one so ...
Amy: We exchanged blank pieces of paper and they both said, "Nice try, sucker." We've been too busy prepping so we haven't even thought about that. If either one of us does win, we'll already have been talking for a while at that point anyway and people will be sick of our faces so I'm sure we'll keep it short and sweet. Or, screw it -- if we're hosting, we can just go as long as we want and cut into people's time.
Tina: If you win, Amy, you can just talk forever.
What shows and movies are you guys personally rooting for?
Tina: I really really enjoyed "Silver Linings Playbook." I thought the acting was great and it shot in the neighborwood where I'm from and I used to go to that diner all the time so it was really special to me.
Amy: I would also say "Silver Linings Playbook." Bradley Cooper is in old friend and he pointed it out to me the other day that 12 years ago ,we shared a bunk at Sundance for a movie called "Wet Hot American Summer." And share a bunk ... that is a euphemism. His performance was so good in that movie. I thought he was excellent and so is Jennifer Lawrence. Also, I loved "The Impossible." I thought that was a beautiful movie and the young kid in that, Tom Holland, he was not nominated, but I just may say his name. Who cares? Again, what are they gonna do?
Where will your families be during the Globes?
Amy: My parents are going to be in Sweden. My brother lives there and he's having a baby so they're going to be watching in Sweden. I think they'll have to watch the next day .. But like Tina's parents, they're always so supportive and have watched everything I've ever done. They've basically watched almost every "SNL" I ever did live. So they're going to be excited to see [the Golden Globes] five days later in Swedish.
Tina: Me too. My family will be home and watching, I'm sure.
How will you be prepping on Sunday before the ceremony? Will you be drinking?
Tina: I'm sure we'll not drink any alcohol until the show is over and then I will drink half a glass of alcohol.
Amy: I'm gonna pub crawl it all the way to the venue and I'm going to try to take a two-hour blackout nap before we start. As soon as the show's over, I'm going to go on a 10-day juice cleanse.
Tina: I'm going to start a really aggressive workout routine in the middle of the show.
The Golden Globes air Sunday, January 13 at 8 p.m. EST/5 p.m. PST on NBC.
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