How To Stop Agonizing Over The Little Things (Because They're Inevitable)

How To Stop Agonizing Over The Little Things
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Your back aches, your coffee's luke warm, or you fall behind schedule.

There are myriad things that can and will go wrong every single day of your life. (And hey -- there's also plenty that goes right, so keep track of that, too.)

Many of us allow one sour moment to spoil what would have otherwise been a perfectly sweet day. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are simple -- really simple -- ways to keep your stress in check and stop agonizing over the inevitable.

"We're living in a society where we think the answers have to be really complicated," says Kathy Gruver, Ph.D., author of "Conquer Your Stress With Mind/Body Techniques." "We tend to complicate our own lives, but things can be ridiculously simple -- and still work." The next time there's a bump in the road, remember a few of the mental tricks below to help yourself smoothly redirect back on course.

Just. Stop. Thinking. About. It.
Certain pain, like an aching back, feels impossible to ignore. But agonizing over what hurts won't help you to feel any better. Instead, you're just suffering twice (once in your head, once in your back). "You have the choice to think about something else," says Gruver, which is a somewhat shockingly simple truth. Just. Stop.

Focus on the breath.
"Breathing is so cool because it happens automatically and it's something we can control," Gruver says. Breath concentration works anywhere and it gives you something positive to focus on. Gruver suggests thinking "I am," on your inhale and "at peace" on your exhale. This technique it powerful: It overrides negative thoughts and redirects your focus. "It's hard to stop thinking things, but it's easy to replace those thoughts with something else."

Don't beat yourself up if stress-inducing thoughts creep their way in (what will I make for dinner?). It's normal and natural for this to happen, but judging yourself for it sort of defeats the purpose of the practice. Gruver says to dismiss these thoughts without judging yourself for having them, and carry on.

Visualize something that doesn't make you anxious.
"Visualization gives you control and can help decrease your pain." Visualize anything from your favorite vacation spot when you're feeling on edge to your body actually healing itself when you're experiencing physical pain. "The more real you can make it, the more it's going to work." The doctor herself visualizes a "little construction worker" moving around her body, working to mend and heal her whenever she feels achy or sick.

Use cues to remind you to be mindful.
"Mindfulness isn’t about setting time aside and sitting on the pillow for meditation," says the practitioner. "Mindfulness is about making your everyday activity a meditation." There are times when the practice of being mindful seems to slip our minds, and we get caught up in the heat of the moment. In these cases, it can be helpful to use "mindful cues" to bring us back to center. Whether it's an alarm on your phone, an app that reminds you to breathe or even the laugh of your colleague that you choose to associate with being present, setting these little reminders will prevent the chaos of the day from becoming too much to bear.

Rely on a someone you trust.
When you want to start making changes, ask a confidant to be a gentle reminder. If you want to stop complaining about your boss, mention it to someone you're close to. He's more likely to catch -- and stop -- you in the act. It's a system that'll keep you in check when you react to a stressful situation rather than respond to it.

For more on stress, click here.

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Before You Go

10 Best Yoga Poses For Anxiety
Eagle Pose (Garudasana) (01 of10)
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"The symmetry we experience in practicing balancing poses helps us turn away from the mind's business and towards the body's recalibration and healing," says Brower. The Eagle Pose can be particularly beneficial for quieting the mind and bringing the attention to the body. Try holding standing pose for 30-60 seconds on each side. (credit:Shutterstock)
Headstand (Salamba Sirsasana)(02 of10)
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Headstand can help ease anxiety by reversing the blood flow and forcing you to focus on the breath and the body in the present moment, wellness expert Dr. Terri Kennedy tells the Huffington Post. It may look challenging, but even beginner yogis can practice a modified version with the help of an instructor. "It's surprisingly accessible to many people because you can do it in many ways," she says. "You can do it against the wall to start." (credit:Shutterstock)
Child's Pose (Balasana) (03 of10)
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One of the quintessential resting poses of any yoga practice, Child's Pose -- which involves sitting on the knees and bending forward with arms forward or by your side -- can be very comforting and self-soothing. "Lying on my belly helps me a lot when I feel anxious," says Brower. "Child's pose helps us turn inside and slow our minds down." (credit:Shutterstock)
Corpse Pose (Savasana)(04 of10)
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At the end of your practice -- or anytime you're feeling overwhelmed -- try lying down flat on your back, with your arms at your sides, and simply focusing on the breath for one to 10 minutes."Corpse is the ultimate in terms of relaxation -- it really allows the body to sink down into the ground, and it's easier to tune into the breath when you're lying on the back and watching the belly rise up and down," Kennedy says. (credit:Alamy)
Half Moon Pose (Ardha Chandrasana)(05 of10)
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To quiet the mind and cultivate focused awareness, try the Half Moon Pose, a balancing posture with one leg raised 90 degrees and one hand on the floor or on a block. "Balancing poses take our attention off of the mind and into the body," Brower says. (credit:Alamy)
Supported Shoulder Stand (Salamba Sarvangasana)(06 of10)
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Inversions like headstand and shoulder stand can help you to get out of the "monkey mind" by putting you in a completely different position than your normal life, Kennedy says. "Inversions in general turn things upside down," she explains. "Stress and anxiety are more of a perception of danger and unease, and when you can get out of your mind -- literally -- that helps." (credit:Alamy)
Tree Pose (Vrksasana)(07 of10)
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Before moving on to the Eagle and Half Moon balancing poses, beginners should start with Tree Pose, a basic standing balance to help calm a racing mind and induce concentration. "Balancing poses force you to be honest about where you are currently, and they force you to pay attention to where you are," Kennedy says. "If you're in a tree pose and your mind is wandering, you'll know it -- you'll fall over." (credit:Shutterstock)
Legs Up The Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)(08 of10)
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Kennedy recommends Legs Up The Wall pose as a simple but effective anxiety-busting posture for beginners that can help you to escape the "thinking mind." "You don't have to be so flexible or so strong, and yet it's very relaxing and very calming for the nervous system," she says. (credit:Alamy)
Standing Forward Bend (Uttanasana)(09 of10)
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Forward bends are excellent for calming our nervous system, according to Brower. The posture provides a release of the upper body and soothes the mind through gentle inversion either when practiced on its own or between poses. (credit:Alamy)
Fish Pose (Matsyasana)(10 of10)
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Yoga Journal recommends Fish Pose for fatigue and anxiety relief, as well as gentle back and shoulder stretching. Beginners may want to place a thickly-folded blanket beneath the head for neck support if they are experiencing any discomfort. (credit:Alamy)

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