Kevin's having a really rough season and we're only on episode two. "Tefl-Andre" opens with Kevin having a wildly uncomfortable doctor visit where he's told he has low testosterone levels (as if his self-esteem wasn't shot enough already). The doctor prescribes Andro-lube and recommends a daily rub of the stuff to his shoulders. Already, I know things are going to get weird.
Back at Kevin and Jenny's house, the gang discusses their need for a new member to replace Ted and Ruxin shows up with Baby Geoffrey in tow. Baby G is participating in Ruxin's law firm sponsored Little League team and according to Ruxin, "the kid is wildly uncoordinated." A fact which surprises no one, mostly because Ruxin's athletic pursuits don't extend beyond masturbation. After a bizarre and very typically Andre soliloquy about keeping your glove oiled, Baby G ends up getting ahold of Kevin's Andro-lube. This leads to a super creepy father-son moment when the pair returns home and Ruxin finds Baby G massaging the lube on his glove, donning a newly grown pedophile 'stache and baritone voice. Helllllo VERY early puberty.
The group decides on Russell as their best option for a new recruit and they insist that Kevin close the deal. Russell, who is no longer a sex addict, is now extremely obsessed with wine which he can only describe using sexual adjectives. As such, Russell now runs a wine bar and Kevin heads there solo to continue the discussion of him joining the group. All seems fine until Russell says he wants to establish trust and insists that he wants to have "lovemaking" with Kevin. Kevin gets flustered and before he can say yes or no, the rest of the gang appears behind the bar a la Ashton style. Kevin is humiliated, Russell accepts their offer to join the group, and balance is restored.
Baby Geoffrey is hitting home runs left and right for the team, much to Ruxin and Bethesda's (Ruxin's boss and team coach) delight. His nickname is now "Lightning" and Ruxin is swelling with pride. Not as proud is Taco, who spends the majority of this episode looking for someone to join Taco Corp. Pete gets suckered into joining and heads to the board meeting in Taco's van. The other board members are Slick, a homeless man allegedly in charge of HR, and Gupta, who does accounting and brings utensils. They discuss their mission in finding the Eskimo brothers of the world and Taco is a happy camper.
Meanwhile, Andre has been ON IT with his quips this episode, prompting Pete to question whether he's getting outside help. We learn in the first few minutes that NFL on FOX's Jay Glazer is feeding him lines but it isn't until Glazer stops by Andre's office that we learn why. Apparently, as part of a donation Andre made, the joke assists have been a part of "charity work." Glazer tries to cut ties but Andre pleads for help "one more time." Glazer reluctantly agrees as Pete almost catches the two meeting in his quest to uncover what's making Tefl-Andre tick.
Everything comes to a boil at Russell's wine bar where the gang has reconvened to watch the game. Tefl-andre's ear piece flies out after he realizes that he's won the first round and, missing his inner-ear help, he fails miserably in attempting to trash-talk Kevin. Jay Glazer heads over to the gang with the sole purpose of calling Andre out in front of everyone, ending his assistance right then and there. And just like that, the era of Tefl-Andre is dead.
With Tefl-andre taken care of, Pete is free to head to Baby Geoffrey's final game with Kevin. Ruxin is equal parts anxious and excited at the prospect of a promotion that rides on how well Baby G plays. G hits a homer and in celebrating, Ruxin manages to rip the boy's pants and his pubescent "clackers" are revealed for the world to see. The umpire declares the game a forfeit at the sight of Baby G's "meatiness" and Bethesda tells the distraught Ruxin that he is shit. Damn you, Andro-lube!
THINGS TO NOTE:
Keep up with "The League" recaps here every week. "The League" airs on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FXX.
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