My Halloween Song: Women Whose Costume is Just that They're Slutty

A skimpy black dress is not very scary -- unless you're Ann Coulter.
|
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Here's the lyrics-remember I only had one day to write the song. But I meant every word of it. Oh, also check out my pal Eban who brought in his Theremin:

Halloween was my favorite holiday but in these last few years
Something so terrible has filled me with fear.
It's not the razor in the apple; no I heard that never happened
No, it's something much worse

It's women whose Halloween costume is just that they're slutty
That's not a costume at all. What happened to Witches and monsters?
They left the Halloween Ball

Just putting kitten ears on your head is not creative.
A skimpy black dress is not very scary--unless you're Ann Coulter
Stiletto heels are not that special unless worn by a man

I'm not a prude, but I'm not a fan....of

Women whose Halloween costume is just that they're slutty
That's not a costume at all. What happened to Witches and monsters?
They left the Halloween Ball

Okay, maybe if you play a dead prostitute from say Jack the ripper days or maybe a zombie whore from outer space. But the naughty devil outfit in lingerie? Well, that's...just not good

Oh, the song is also on my new blog for Yahoo Music. Please visit and comment. No one yet knows I exist.

Our 2024 Coverage Needs You

As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.

Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.

to keep our news free for all.

Support HuffPost