It's All About You

In 2004, I was invited by a prominent LGBT political organization to perform at the Democratic National Convention, but just days before the event, I was abruptly dis-invited. I believe it was because at that point, the Kerry camp was trying to avoid controversy. It may have been because I said that I thought Teresa Heinz Kerry was hot, which I still believe. Or it may have been because I called John Kerry an Ent -- one of those old, slow tree people from Lord of the Rings. Or maybe it was the time that I said that Laura Bush's oval orifice tasted like Lysol. Of course, in all these instances, I was speculating, and these comments may have been in questionable, or even possibly in bad taste, especially in the Lysol situation. But who says Lysol has to be a bad flavor? It might be somewhat fresh. It might make you feel like a pine forest -- which might make her a better match for John Kerry, with his wooden ways. I don't know. I guess you can just call me 'divisive!'

In any case, I was offended by the LGBT group's decision to dis-invite me, and I felt very left out of the festivities, as festive as these political events can be. In truth, they aren't a lot of fun. Just a lot of ulcers just waiting to happen and then afterward trying to drink away the pain of losing. Still, not being included, for me, was a deep wounding, because I have always taken great pride whenever I was able participate in politics. My parents have never voted, because they have always believed that this was not their country, and I have felt grateful with every vote, every rally, every march, every election -- because I know in my heart and soul that this is my country, and with my vote, I have a voice -- one that is just as loud and strong as every other voter in this country. As I watched the convention on television, I felt very non-included, and I vowed then never to let anyone or anything make me feel that way again. I decided I would become more involved in politics, and if I am not asked to a party, or dis-invited to a party, I will throw my own party instead. I hope that all of you do the same. No matter what your feelings are, for whatever candidate, make your voice heard. This presidential election is the most exciting one I have seen in my lifetime. Whether you are for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton -- or even (gasp) John McCain (who I wouldn't want to vote for because I don't want to see my tax dollars spent on Viagra) or Mike Huckabee (who I dislike so much I can't believe it -- I would rather go see his band "Capitol Offense" than vote for him -- and that is saying a lot!) -- whoever you may support, your voice matters. Your vote counts -- it's a big deal. It's everything. Whatever you do, be sure and vote. I know it's a simple thing, but lots of people ignore it and think everyone else will do it for them. They can't -- and they shouldn't. It's all about you.