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How A Mom Who Has Bailed Son Out Of Jail 13 Times Is Enabling Him

She even takes him for his favorite meal of sushi and ice cream after she picks him up from jail.
Dr. Phil Show

Brenda recently drove 12 hours to bail her 29-year-old son Tyler out of jail for the thirteenth time. After picking up Tyler, who has been arrested 14 times and through drug treatment nine times, Brenda took him for his favorite meal of ice cream and sushi.

"I totally feel like I failed as a parent," Brenda says, explaining that Tyler is addicted to heroin, and claiming that she, her husband and Tyler’s biological father have spent a combined $100,000 in the last decade bailing him out, getting him treatment, and paying for his expenses.

“I am 100 percent obsessed with fixing Tyler," adds Brenda, whom friends and family call "the ultimate enabler."

“You just simply do not reward bad behavior.”

- Dr. Phil

Tyler recognizes that his upbringing and his mom's willingness to continually provide for him have been problematic. "The house was immaculate, the beds were always made, the laundry done, we looked good, and honestly, it messed me up a little bit," he says about his childhood. "It crippled me in a way because I felt like I didn't have to work for anything. I had no responsibilities. Once I started using drugs, I felt like everything was still going to be provided for me, and I didn't have to work for it."

Tyler Admits Stealing From Family, Friends To Support His $100K Habit: ‘I Use My Intelligence To Manipulate People’

Watch the video above as they turn to Dr. Phil for help.

"Do you believe in this rule that is real fundamental to me: You just simply do not reward bad behavior. Can we agree on that?"

Brenda responds, "When he gets out [of jail], where's he going to go? He can't go on the streets because then he'll just go back to drugs again."

Dr. Phil fires back: "Hell no he's not going to be on the street -- he's going to go eat sushi and ice cream!"

Watch: A Stern Wake-Up Call For Brenda

How can Tyler turn his life around, and what should Brenda's role be so she doesn't further cripple her son? Watch more from Friday's episode of Dr. Phil.

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Before You Go

The 5 Drugs Most Commonly Abused By Post-50s
#5 Stimulants(01 of05)
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While stimulants such as Ritalin and Adderall are highly addictive, abuse among older people is not as widespread as it with young adults. However, illicit stimulants like cocaine are more common. In 2008, 63 percent of 118,495 emergency room visits made by those 50 and older involved cocaine. The number of older cocaine users likely increased in the past few years since more than 550,000 adults aged 50 and older reported cocaine use, according to a 2011 report.(Image via Flickr, Alex Dodd) (credit:Alex Dodd/Flickr)
#4 Antidepressants(02 of05)
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While the names are varied -- Prozac, Zoloft and Lexapro, among others -- the effects are similar. Used primarily to treat depression and mood disorders, antidepressants have a slight potential for abuse and addiction. According to a 2010 report from The Drug Abuse Warning Network, antidepressants contributed to 8.6 percent of emergency room visits by adults 50 and older. (credit:Darren Staples / Reuters)
#3 Sedatives(03 of05)
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Most often used to treat anxiety and insomnia, sedatives like Valium and Xanax may become addictive if taken incorrectly, or used too often. The Drug Abuse Warning Network identified sedatives, or depressants, as the pharmaceutical involved in 31.8 percent of emergency room visits by older adults. (Image via Flickr, Dean812) (credit:Dean812/Flickr)
#2 Pain Relievers(04 of05)
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Painkillers like Oxycodone, Vicodin and Morphine have a high potential for abuse. According to a Drug Abuse Warning Network report, pain relievers were the type of pharmaceutical most often involved in emergency room visits for post-50s, encompassing 43.5 percent of senior ER visits. The vast majority of painkiller-related ER visits -- 33.9 percent -- involved high-level narcotics, rather than over-the-counter pain relievers. (credit:Hyungwon Kang / Reuters)
#1 Medical Marijuana(05 of05)
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While many people have medical prescriptions for marijuana use, 3 million adults aged 50 and older have illegally used the drug within the past year, according to a 2011 report from The National Survey on Drug Use and Health, a branch of the U.S. Government's Department of Health and Human Services. Out of 4.8 million older adults who used illicit drugs, marijuana use was more common than non-medical use of prescription medicines among the 50 to 59 age range (though the opposite was true for those 60 and older). Marijuana is also far more popular among men than women aged 50 and older. (credit:Getty Images)
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