Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Before kids you wear makeup to look pretty. After kids you wear makeup to look rested.
— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) August 5, 2014
Three year olds are great because just in case you didn't hear something the first time they will let you know another 728 times.
— Nicole (@scrappydoo36) August 4, 2014
The concept of infinity can be described with a picture of a toddler with a question mark lingering overhead.
— Los (@LosLos__) August 4, 2014
Good thing I gave my baby a super awesome middle name, I have a feeling I'm going to be yelling it a lot.
— lyz lenz (@lyzl) August 7, 2014
My four year old told me she hopes that she dreams about love tonight so she could learn to like me again after I cut her waffles wrong
— kelly jean (@kjmeow) August 3, 2014
Being a parent means you never really have a clean house. You just sort of move the mess around when people come over.
— Freddie (@fred_dog) August 8, 2014
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